Getting to know me

Jan 9, 2014Jan 11, 2014Leave a comment

When I was younger I had an obsession with long personality questionnaires, I wasn’t alone we all went a bit mad. I found one online today which isn’t basic but I think will give you all a little bit more of an idea about me. I’m hoping to do some more of these later on and maybe some student ones! If you have any ideas post them in the comments section below.

Who do you work with that you really respect?

I have a friend at uni called Sonia, she’s totally honest and works hard. She gets a lot of stick from other people but refuses to change herself to make people like her. I really respect that about her.

Who is there that makes you want to be a better person?

My boyfriend, definitely. He tells me when I’m right and he tells me when I’m wrong. He’s absolutely brilliant with me especially when he knows that I can do better. I want to be the best person I can be for him because of everything he does for m.
Who is the most dependable person in your life?

Umm again I think it would be my boyfriend.
If you had a year off with pay, what would you do?

I’d spend half of it travelling across the world, hopefully with my band and the other half in internships for jobs I really want so when I came back I could have a better shot at a job I really wanted apart from being a musician.

Where is the funniest place you have ever fallen asleep.
On the floor of my boyfriends bathroom…twice.

Who is the best living guitar player?
That’s a really tricky one! I love so many…too tough!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you with your life right now?
I’d say about a 6/7 really want it to go up though.

What makes you laugh?

My friends ‘Amy moments’ are the highlight of my week.

What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning?

How long I have until I really have to get up

How old where you when you realized you are lucky?

I wouldn’t say there was an age, I think I started to appreciate things and people more around the time I moves to uni so around 18/19

If you had your own TV network what would you put on it?

Lots of comedy, bands and some great life documentary’s NO SPORT. Pretty much BBC3 minus the football.

What motivates you to exercise?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

What Olympic sport would you like to try?

Ice Skating! My boyfriend and his sister done it for sport when they were young and I would love to just be able to stay off my bum!

What is the largest crowd you have ever been in?

Definitely at a gig.

When was the last time you said “I am glad I do not have that job”?

Uni bus drivers when they get a load of attitude when people are running late.

If you could have lunch with anyone living who would it be?

Hayley Williams, J.K Rowling, Jodi Picoult, Jenna McDougall, Tay Jardine..can I have more people!!

What is your idea of heaven?

A nice big family house which has a library, swimming pool and recording studio.

If you could spend five minutes with the president what would you talk about?

Something fun and silly, let him have five minutes off!

What small town would you like to live in?

I don’t know if I would…I would go mad.

What is your favorite thing about your dad?

I have a note on my wall from my last day or secondary school that I had to go to. It pretty much said to keep my head up, it meant a lot to me.

Who was your best friend growing up?

I had a friend called Kara and a friend called Jordan who now lives in Australia!

If you could ask one person one question and get a completely honest answer who would it be and what would you ask?

All I’m going to say is I’d ask someone why so that I knew for sure and could move on.

When in your life have you had a “now or never” moment?

Umm I’m not sure off the top of my head.

What was the first professional sporting event you went to?

Golf. I paid no attention but met Gary Linaker

Pub

Jan 8, 2014Jan 11, 2014Leave a comment

After an exhausting day tonight ended up in pizza and alcohol, it’s Wednesday…student night was in full swing. Well it was supposed to be anyway. Today’s blog post is pretty boring the only thing I can really say or give advice about is not drinking anything that contains alcohol and orange juice, bad idea. Very bad idea. Although as you can tell I’ve sobered up by now after a pretty good night out. I’m hoping there will be more of these to come…we’ll wait and see shall we?

The ‘helping yourself’ list

Jan 7, 2014May 21, 201531 Comments

Smiling while using my new camera. I may not be airbrushed but I think I look pretty good 🙂

I’ve mentioned constantly how I want to try and be more positive whilst I’m at university, partly because the world will be a little bit brighter and partly to beat my anxiety/depression. This morning whilst checking my Facebook and Twitter I came across a list of this to do to help you be generally happier and healthier. As I was scrolling through I noticed that it was actually quite negative. It was full of don’t which wont make anyone want to change or give them the extra push they need. So I’ve rewritten the list and I’m finding it pretty helpful and I’m feeling optimistic. I’m going to share my list with you all and hopefully you’ll find it helpful too!

Spend time with people who make you feel good.
Face your problems head on, they’re part of this big old crazy life
Stop lying to yourself.
Think of yourself once in a while.
Be yourself, no one else can be.
You can’t think of the future while you’re stuck in the past.
Stop being scared to make a mistake. (My biggest issue)
Past mistakes can stay in the past, you can’t change them, but you can change the future.
The little things will be what you remember, not always the most expensive.
Let yourself be happy – Happiness has to come from within you. – This one is tough, I know that. I struggle with this a lot when I’m on a low, let other people help you but try and help yourself as much as possible.
Get going! Get started on what you want to do! .
Stop thinking you’re not ready. – This is one I also feel all the time especially about driving, now I’m trying to bite the bullet.
Don’t get into relationships for the wrong reasons (Stop looking and you may find what you were looking for!).
Don’t hide from new relationships just because old ones didn’t work.
Life isn’t always a competition, make the most of when it’s not.
Don’t give in to jealousy. (I know this can be really tough!)
Dwelling on your past wont help your future.
Stop holding grudges.
Rise above pettiness .
Let people accept you for who you are, you don’t need to make excuses.
All work and no play is never the right way to go.
Small moments are going to be the ones you remember.
You don’t always have to be perfect.
Sometimes a few hurdles can be a good thing.
Don’t act like everything is fine if it isn’t, be honest with yourself and others.
Can YOU change the things your unhappy about instead of other people?
Don’t try to be everything to everyone.
What’s the use in worrying?
Try and focus on what you DO want to happen more than what you don’t
Be grateful for what you have

I’m not saying you can do them all, I don’t think I can, but hopefully this is slightly more positive way to look at it! 🙂

Haaaaaaave you met….who?

Jan 6, 2014Jan 11, 2014Leave a comment

Like many people my age I have a slight obsession with the show How I Met Your Mother. If you’ve never watched it you are SERIOUSLY missing out! So I have a joke with my friend Ben. I’m desperate to be his wingman for a night and I will be eventually, despite how much he politely declines. So while I have more of a Lilly vibe going on rather than a Barney I had a great idea. Although in the show it’s used as a chat up line (hence the joke with Ben) I thought it would be a great idea to start a ‘Have you met…’ part of the blog so I can introduce you to all my lovely friends!

I have a lot to do so I don’t know how long this will take, while your waiting why don’t you go and catch up on How I Met Your Mother… I know I’m going to.

I DO NOT OWN THE COPYRIGHT TO THE IMAGE ABOVE..PLEASE DONT SUE ME!

I’m back!…now what?

Jan 5, 2014Leave a comment

After the fun and games of my mind going into overdrive yesterday I’m finally back at uni. After buying what felt like half of Tescos this morning (thanks again for that Mum, you always seem to remember what I actually need), I got driven back and well here I am. I’ve been back 5 or 6 hours now and I’m bored out of my miiiiiiind. It’s not that I don’t have things to do, I really need to crack on with an absolutely awful assignment I’m meant to hand in Wednesday, but things seem odd in halls. I can’t hear drunken screaming or shouting across the car park, it feels a little like a ghost town.

I’m not stupid enough to believe that this quiet will last in Seething Wells. Student Loads will go in tomorrow and the partying will begin again, only I can’t because I have driving Tuesday morning…score. For now, as much as I hate losing sleep, it doesn’t feel right around here, it’s all too quiet and I have nothing to do. I apologise for the short blog post tonight, hopefully I’ll have more to talk about tomorrow…

Getting ready to head back.

Jan 4, 2014Leave a comment

While many of us are getting excited about seeing friends again, the miracle of Student Loan and being able to order pizza at 3am there is one thing that stands in our way. Packing. As many of my regular readers will know my anxiety has been peeking for the last week or so, the thought of going back to halls of residence hasn’t filled me with much joy. If anything it’s made the whole issue of going back to uni worse.

The problem is that when I’m stressed my mind goes into overdrive. I can’t sit still and I begin to get anxious and panic and then I start to have an anxiety/panic attack. I turn into someone I don’t recognise and say things I don’t mean. I do my best to avoid stress and put things in place so that if I’d under a lot of pressure I can deal with it but sometimes, like today, there isn’t a lot I can do. The reason for all this stress? Packing and going back to being alone in my flat. While I’ve made plans for in the week tomorrow night is going to be pretty tough and I know that. I’m hoping that the box of chocolates I have left over from Christmas might make it a little bit better.

I’m hoping that once the worst is over I can try and see things in a more positive light. I have a wonderful boyfriend, some brilliant friends and a band that I’m going to be proud of. There is also talk of finding me some alternative housing in the next month and I’m realising that’s ok. I gave Seething Wells a really good try but when my health is involved I need to seriously consider what to do about it. So I might be writing to you guys again about packing for a move once again! We’ll see.

Right now I’m going to catch up on publishing a few other posts I’ve missed and have my last night in a quiet room for a change!

Cuddles and old friends

Jan 3, 2014Jan 5, 2014Leave a comment

My God Daughter Lexi and I having long awaited cuddles

Almost two years ago I was asked to be God Mother to a beautiful little girl. When I got into Kingston and my friend Lucy got into Winchester to study Law it meant we’d be seeing a lot less of each other and I had to say goodbye to Lexi for a little while. Today I finally got to see her! With cuddles all around I’m definately still winning in the non biological auntie game! While she picked out her Hello Kitty puzzle in the toy shop I couldn’t believe how much she’d grown in the past few months. That tiny little baby I used to carry around was now becoming a confident little girl, still smiling just as she did when she was tiny. I may not get to see Lucy and Lexi as much as I want too but when I do I come home laughing.

As well as big girl cuddles with Lexi, I also got to have other cuddles today. Another one of my friends (a different Lucy) gave birth to a lovely baby girl last week and I was asked if I wanted to come over and meet her. It’s been a while since I have been around tiny babies (the last one was Lexi!) but I didn’t have to worry, Skylar is the most relaxed baby I’ve met. She slept through my whole visit, only waking up when she had to be changed. I loved catching up with Lucy and to see her so happy with this tiny little girl, it also made me proud too that she’s doing such a great job. Between the two Lucys I’m really lucky that I get two babies to play with! The best part? I can give them back 😉 Only kidding, I love being an auntie/God Mother/friend but it can stay at just that for now.

Tonight I got to go out and see some old college friends with Ali. We do it every time we come back for a holiday, although there always seems to be people missing it’s still good fun. Best of all I got to see my friend Nicole, she’s just released a beautiful song called butterflies, listen to it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_s3S4JWnzs (the hyper link button isn’t working!). Tomorrow I should probably pack and get ready to head back, but I’ll think about that later.

Maybe I’ll go, before I fall to pieces

Jan 2, 2014Leave a comment

Starting a blog with lyrics from Razorlight is always fun. I remember when I was around 11 and I got this CD at the airport for my Walkman CD player (HAH just proves that I am as old as I feel!) and I constantly played ‘before I fall to pieces’. When I was 11 I had no idea what it meant and now when I listen to the song I have some idea, if you want to listen to it here is the link. Anyway I’m not writing today to give you the Pros and Cons of a Walkman, although I might save that for later. The title reminds me of how I feel in driving test situations!

Last year I wrote a list of all the things I wanted to do in 2013, some I achieved my nose piercing, my change in hair colour, my tattoo, passing my exams, getting into univeristy. Some of them I know have a great chance of happening this year, such as recording an EP (finally). There is one on there though that sticks out and pisses me off endlessly, get my driving license. Aha there we go, the big one. Get that damn bit of card and paper that says I’m allowed to drive in my car without an adult. Sounds easy, right? Wrong. More than anything else driving stresses me out. Not the actual driving a car I’m generally a good driver but knowing I have to take a test at the end of it.

Now I’ve done well over my 40 hours by now, I’ve passed the theory, I’ve taken 3 different tests. The problem? A mix of general driving test nerves, awful anxiety issues and memories of past tests. I’ve moved now and I thought that would be enough but I’m still terrified, we have a DOUBLE roundabout. Who even invented those? So while I’ve seen loads of people I went to school with in their own cars, effortlessly driving I’m still the idiot who can’t pass. I’ve had the BS from everyone of ‘don’t think like that’, ‘everyone is different’ blah blah blah. I honestly think that if I hadn’t had such an awful examiner in Basingstoke then I would have been ok. I had them for 2/3 tests, for the first they were fine, for the second they turned into the bloody devil. After sighing when I done anything wrong, raising their voice to me when I chose the safest thing to do and just being a general arse I fell to pieces. After a long appeal where I was called a liar (don’t even get me started) I had to pay once again and was not granted the promise I wouldn’t have them again. The third test was nothing more than hilarious, I was awful! Here is a tip for you all, don’t take your driving test the day before you get the most important results of your life!

All this said, I will attempt it again and again. I think this is one of THE main areas my anxiety can take hold of my life. While people say ‘don’t let it’ my fellow anxiety sufferers will know that this isn’t something you can switch on and off. I’m going to try and carry on this year, not because it’s new years but because my theory test runs out in September. After going out with my Dad tonight (and only almost killing us 4 times…I kid, I kid!) I’m feeling a bit better and one day I might actually enjoy driving!

Young and Resolutionless

Jan 1, 20143 Comments

I don’t think that resolutionless is actually a word, if it isn’t that’s point to me for making it up. I spent last night curled up on the sofa with Ali and woke up without a hang over (bonus). For the last 2 days the internet has been full of ‘next year I will…’ and so I decided that I’m not going to do that this year. I’m not going to put any unnecessary pressure on myself any more. So let’s raise our glasses to doing whatever the bloody hell we want. I’m going to do what I want to do now and I’m not going to get stressed either. You see the thing is when I started uni I was easily intimidated and didn’t want to stand up to people. Now I’ve realised that although I want to get one with people it doesn’t give them a license to be complete arseholes to me because of what I enjoy and believe.

2014 could be a very different year to what I thought it would initially be. I’m definitely going to be moving, although possibly sooner than I thought I would. In February I’ll be meeting We Are The In Crowd, hopefully recording the EP around March time as well as attending my last lectures of first year, April has You Me at Six and Halestorm, I’ll be teaching in May, my last month of halls in June, back home in July, six year anniversary in August, my *cough* 20th birthday in September, getting stuck into second year in October, Ali’s 21st in November and I’m sure something will happen for december. With all that going on, would you bother with New Year’s Resolutions?!

Goodbye 2013

Dec 31, 2013Leave a comment

Most of the blogs/statuses/tweets I’m reading at the moment are either calling 2013 the best year ever or saying 2014 is going to be so much better. I’m going to take a different approach this time. As you know my life is hardly ever all highs or all lows, I’m up and down more times than a yoyo. That said, I think it’s been a pretty good year overall I’ve actually done some great things and survived some things I never thought I would. So I’m not going to tell you that I’ve had an epiphany of everything I will nobally achieve this year. I’m going to work hard and carry on. I’ve got high hopes for me and the boys in No People Club, I might get a new tattoo and I might even get around to writing a bit more of my novel. My plan? I’m going to keep going, make use of every opportunity in Kingston and see where that gets me. For now though here is some of my year in pictures…

I got into Uni!!