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Getting stuff finished, Growing Up and Great Surprises

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Today I finished and submitted my last, and most terrifying, pieces of coursework. That’s it I’m done, all work for first year is over now. I should be excited, happy and relieved. I am but at the same time I feel a bit lost. I don’t really know what to do with my days now as most people have already moved out. I have five months until I get back into a lecture theatre and I’m guessing boredom will get the best of me and then I’ll end up reading the entire reading list by the time I come back in September because, well, five months is a long time. 

Today’s been about growing up a bit, which is terrifying and really exciting. I’m now the co owner of a joint bank account and have the last of the flat details being sent to me in a week. I couldn’t stop smiling when Ali and I opened the bank account and it’s such a stupid thing to get excited about but it just meant something to me, something about moving in together just seems so official. That said after I threw childish insults at him, we’re not really grown ups yet. Or ever. Maybe ever. 

 

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My presents from Maggie! 

I got to see Rhys today!!!!!!! Finally 😀 I was also given my surprises from Maggie which included a load of candy and two amazing T-Shirts that you can’t get in the UK! Paramore AND The Fault in Our Stars!!!! I couldn’t be more happy with them and I’m so excited. I’m really hoping to head out to Baltimore next year and actually meet Maggie in person, Rhys couldn’t have a better girlfriend! 

Tomorrow is my first day of schools placement, so instead of the lie in I deserve tomorrow I’ll be up at 6.30 to head to the bus and my school placement. It will definitely be interesting to say the least…wish me luck! 

Forever awkward!

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This picture came up on my Facebook page today after my friend Lucy shared it. I think it sums things up really. I’ve spent the evening tidying and organising my room thinking about what to take to the new flat, what to throw away, moving again. Now some people argue that moving in with my boyfriend is a big grown up step and it sure felt that way when we went to the bank to open a joint bank account today but compared to some people I know, it’s not. I have friends who have children, who have been engaged, who are currently engaged. Me and Ali are still calling turkey dinosaurs and curly fries dinner which is just the way I want it to be right now! 

On the other side of the spectrum I’m surrounded by people who are out every night, partying, drinking (just as I can hear through 4 walls currently) something I’m not that interested in. Don’t get me wrong I like to go to the pub and I was gutted when I couldn’t go out tonight but usually I’m not bothered. I get more bothered about not being around my friends than actually getting wasted. 

This is the thing as I fastly approach my twenties I’m faced with this weird in between place and when your with either type of friend it feels awkward. By the amount of re posts on Facebook I’m not the only one my age who feels this way! So I’m going to plod along feeling awkward for god knows how long, I like this age and I’m not in a hurry to grow up any time soon!  

Scatter brain

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I feel like my desk currently reflects the state of my brain. I wanted to take tonight to write for you all and tell you all about how lovely it’s been to spend a weekend with Ali but alas I don’t have the time. See this is a real student post! My books are scattered all around me, I can’t find the quotes I’m looking for and this essay is driving me slowly but surely mad! Hopefully I’ll be able to make more sense tomorrow!

What’s daylight again??

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Normally one of my top tips for anyone doing revision/exams is to hae a break every now and again, maybe go outside and get some fresh air. Ali and I have definitely broken that this weekend, after getting to his flat over 24 hours ago we haven’t left. If we’ve left the room it’s been to go to the kitchen although we’re not cooking tonight, chicken it is! Why you may ask? This is what happens when you get stuck on assignments over Easter, while I have a few more days to work on my final Debates in Literature essay Ali has until Monday…

Fear not! I’m encouraging him and he’s working hard on the assignment and believe me this one is a doozy! 3000 words, I looked at the title and gave a wimper myself. All my friends on the music tech course seem to be feeling the same and it wouldn’t surprise me if the library stayed very full until that 11am deadline on Monday. So now I have to leave you all and get on before dinner arrives, wish us luck and hopefully we may see that thing they call the sun again at some point!

Two down, Two to go

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Students are currently in two stages of panic at the moment, either panicing about coursework or panicing about exams. One or the other, I’m currently part of the coursework group, the pressure is on but I now have 2 down and two to go! Creative Writing is done,dusted finished. I have to put in a hard copy to the office but the main online submission is done now and I never have to submit anything creative ever again.

I have been stressing out a lot over my assignments and I know I shouldn’t. I’ve had 90% of the assignments done for about a month now but it’s just the final part. I start to think too much, Is this part good enough? Does this match what they wanted me to do? Who’s going to mark it? Will they like my work? Will I get the grade I want/need? Anxiety is awful at exam/coursework time because I’m someone who cares so much about my work and it just stresses me out constantly.

Despite how I was feeling today I’m feeling a lot more relaxed now. Half are done! Gone! Submitted! Creative Writing is over and now maybe I’ll get back to writing fiction, finally start my book. I can put all my academic energy into English, something that I love (although ask me that again next week, I may not agree!). The next step is to submit my English assignments and then it’s nothing but reading until September 29th, a lot of work though hopefully for the Student Ambassadors.

So, two down and two more to go! Hopefully by this time next week it will all be done!

Let’s get back to work – College Fairs

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Our table at today’s Higher Education Fair! 

This time last year I was nervously waiting to start my A Levels and fighting to finish my BTEC early. This time two years ago (wow that feels like a long time ago), I was attending Higher Education Fairs trying to work out what the hell this uni thing was all about. Back then I was clueless I didn’t know what to expect, what I could do and honestly I wasn’t that confident. I’ve said before and I’ll say it again the Student Ambassadors helped me a lot in making a decision and realising I could do this.

So when the opportunity came up to go to one of the fairs that I eagerly walked around and help students I decide I jumped at the chance. I got to work with one of my favourite members of staff too, always a bonus. So after driving this morning (I’m definitely getting there guys!) I got to uni to be picked up and driven to Uxbridge College, hands down the nicest college I’ve seen so far (sorry QMC!). We were given food, drinks and hot drink vouchers as well as talking to a lot of students. I love it when I speak to people and I can see they are as nervous as I was back then, because I can listen and tell them not only the things they want to know but the things I wish I’d known before I started. I love my job and although right now I want to curl up and sleep after sitting in traffic for 45 minutes I’m happy and I know I’ve done a good job.

I hope that my blog will be filled in the next few years with my life as a Student Ambassador because I’m so grateful and proud of myself getting this job, it’s honestly blown me away and it’s something I’m good at. I couldn’t ask for a better job.

Back again, for the last time

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Technically this is the last term of my first year, although obviously teach ended weeks ago. I took the opportunity to go food shopping as Mum was giving me a lift back, there’s nothing I hate more than lugging bags of food back from Sainsbury’s in the rain! So we packed up the car, boot full and headed back. 

I must admit I’ve been nervous all day about coming back. I like listening to the noise in my house, I like having people I’m comfortable around, I like having the option of being around people. You don’t get that here. Well I’m sure you do in some flats but I find mine quite a lonely place and I don’t like sitting here with nothing to do. Surprisingly though, after a little wobble earlier I’m okay. I feel ok and kind of focused, I have deadlines, a job and a new flat to work out so it’ll be keep me busy. 

One thing making me nervous though is my mental health support team. I think I’m almost out of ‘alloted hours’ and I could be refused more. The problem is these don’t change with the circumstances of my condition. If I’m feeling awful and in need of help I can apply for more hours, but there is no certainty that it will be granted. I like my mentor a lot, she helps me work through things when I’m really anxious and cutting that off when I still have another 2 months of halls to live in doesn’t make me feel good. I’ll put in the application and fight if it gets denied but this is the problem with MH. We’re constantly told ‘lack of funding’ lack of this, lack of that. It’s taken me 5 years to get help at all, like hell am I letting it go now. 

So in two months time it will be goodbye to Seething Wells and hello to the new flat. I’m excited and nervous and just about everything. I’m hoping this will be really good for me, I wont be forced to be alone any more if I’m feeling down! 

So here it goes, one more term…. 

Some time with my sister and heading back

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Not our most flattering photo 

When I come home I like to make a big deal out of spending time with my sister. It was a really hard thing, leaving her behind to go to uni. I wanted to be around while she tackles being a teenager and she still has a way to go until she is one. Tonight’s treat was Nandos, just the two of us. It’s something we’ve done before and that we like doing together, as usual big sister pays! I don’t mind though. 

I am nervous about going back tomorrow, it’s easy to get lonely in halls and when I’m lonely it’s easy to get low. I’m trying to stay positive and focus in the future.  

Easter Sunday and Happy Birthday Nanna!

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The line up of eggs and treats! 

So I’m not religious, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get excited over Easter…just for different reasons. I love chocolate, I’m a total chocoholic and it was my first thought when I wok up this morning. So I was pleased when my sister bundled into my room with an Oreo Easter egg and my dog, who cuddled up to me. 

Today is also my wonderful Nanna’s birthday! She’s been quite poorly lately and today is the first time I’ve seen her since she’s been in hospital. She wanted all of us together today and you could see it cheered her up and she’s getting on the mend now! It was nice as well to be around my cousins and watch them playing and laughing and having fun, if I’m honest I’ve missed it. I really am a family girl and it makes me sad that I’ll be going back in a few days. 

At the same time I’m looking forward to getting back. I’ll be moving out of halls and into my lovely new flat. I’ll get the EP finished, write some new songs and hopefully pass my driving test. I’m really trying to focus on the positives now because I am getting nervous about next year, it takes managing money to a new level, my classes will get harder. So I’m trying not to panic and focus on the good things, like today. 

This afternoon was just as fun with an Easter egg hunt (where Mum forgot where she’d placed them so about an hour later we found them all!) which has to happen every year, even when I’m old. Followed by a lovely roast dinner, a quick drive and off to Ali’s for some quality time before he goes back to uni tomorrow (I won’t see him until Friday).

Happy Birthday Nanna, I love you to the moon and back.

 

5 Top Money Tips for new students

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1. Know what money you have from the start 

If you know what you have, you know what you can spend. I saw loads of charts and things saying how much will you spend on food and things and I had no idea. First things first have a plan for each semester and take your rent out before you plan ANYTHING, that way you have somewhere to live…that always helps.

2. Make a budget 

This is vital. From the money you have divide it into either a monthly or weekly budget. It’s still the same key thing, knowing what you have to work with. I had two bank accounts and transferred my budget each week, that way I couldn’t overspend without making a transfer and thinking about it. Anything I didn’t spend that week went into a savings account.

3. Stick to it! 

It will make your life so much easier, but if you have to go slightly over that’s ok. It helps if you have some emergency money stashed…it’s up to you if beer means emergency or not. 

4. Make sure you have food above all else 

This is vital. After rent, food is a must! I know some people who lived on stupid food just so they had enough for 3 nights out a week…I wouldn’t advise it! 

5. Treat yourself every now and again! 

I hate horrible visions of having no money and living on plain rice and being miserable but you can treat yourself! You are allowed! You’re a human being after all!