Category: lifestyle

It’s Ok Not To Be Ok

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Sometimes in our busy lives, it’s easy to forget that not feeling ok is ok. I know a lot of people with mental health conditions and we spend a lot of time wading through day to day tasks, trying not to let it show. It’s easy to say we’re fine and keep it all inside. I needed reminding this week that it’s ok to feel that things aren’t great, even if to the outside world they are. Take it at your own pace, feel what you need to feel.

I’ve been caught up in a lot of ‘shoulds’ recently. That I should feel happy constantly because to everyone else my life looks amazing. I know that I do have a good life, a great relationship, a job and a home that I love. I get caught up in how I should appear to other people, but often don’t listen to my own body and my own mind.

I have an illness, whether I or anyone else likes it, it’s there. Sometimes I feel sad, I feel exhausted and unhappy for no clear reason, it’s just part of the illness that I have. I’ve been giving myself a really tough time for the times I’ve felt unhappy and only really thought about it after catching the end of a Twitter chat.

I have a tattoo that says ‘One Day At A Time’ and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to let myself feel what I’m feeling and not feel guilty.

January Favourites

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Hello, hello, hello!

It’s FINALLY the end of January, which is probably my least favourite month of the year. The excitement of Christmas is gone, it’s dark, dreary and everyone is skint. I haven’t been feeling the positive vibes! BUT every month I’m going to share my favourites, this month is fairly random, simply because I haven’t done much but I’m hoping others will be a little more interesting!

Promising to look after myself 

I’ve had a rough old time this January but have tried to spend a little bit of time caring for myself, embracing the Hygge way of life. 

Lady Dates 

Abbie and I had our First Lady date in AGES this month, popping to a little pub for dinner and dessert. I need these little catchups over some dinner, chilled conversation and food by a cosy fire. Shout out to The Weatsheaf in Dummer, top notch as always. 

We moved! 

7 months after graduating we finally got the keys to our new home. While I might be going a little mad waiting for internet I’m so happy to have our own home! 

Birthday Celebrations! 

My littlest cousin Jamie turned one this month, I love seeing my little smiler so happy! 

Getting back into fitness 

I’m starting to try and go to the gym, get a routine and try something new, hence boxing. 

Little treats 

I love the Powerpuff girls, I always have. I was SO happy that my Mum picked these up from Primark for me 😊

Content planning 

There’s going to be lots of fun and new content here! Keep your eyes peeled! 

Ed Sheeran 

Yes he really made the end of the month. I love his new track Castle on the Hill and thanks to my Mum I’m seeing him LIVE in May! Eeeeek! 


Hamski 

As always my little Ham never fails to make me smile ❤ 
I can’t wait to see what February brings! Let me know your favourites from January in the comments below!! 

 

Sunday Seven: Characters I Want To Cosplay As

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I absolutely love going to MCM Comic Con London. I’ve been a few times now and picking a character to cosplay as is always a tricky choice. For my first, I didn’t dress up I simply wore my Hogwarts jumper, for my second I made my first costume going as Rey from Star Wars , my third the Scarlet Witch from the Marvel Universe. I like dressing as strong and inspiring characters. I haven’t included Harry Potter in this list because I also attend Harry Potter nights where I can dress up too!

Princess Leia

Princess Leia was the original badass princess. After meeting Carrie Fisher just weeks before her death, I also want to pay tribute to a wonderful actress, icon and rebel. I can assure you though, I won’t be dressing in the gold bikini!

Arya Stark

When I read Game of Thrones I was instantly fell in love with Arya, small, young and tough. Her costume is definitely going to be tricky but 100% worth it.

Spider Gwen 

This was the first comic book I properly collected, the first time I saw a kick ass female super-hero I absolutely love Spider-Gwen and her character throughout all the comics.

Jyn Erso 

Another Star Wars leading lady, I’d like to eventually have cosplayed all of the female leads in the franchise (although I know Padme isn’t on this list). Jyn was different, I felt that she was more real to me than some of the others because she was just a normal person caught up in a war.

Louise Belcher 

Louise is funny, says what she thinks and wears a great pink rabbit hat…ok maybe I just really want to wear the pink rabbit hat.

Ariel 

What is the world without a little Disney magic? Ariel is my favourite animated Princess, the Little Mermaid was my nickname as a kid and my whole 21st birthday was Little Mermaid themed, it only seems right I would cosplay as her at some point.

Harley Quinn

I’ve been a HQ comic book fan for quite a while, although I haven’t cosplayed as her because of the Suicide Squad hype (I counted 88 Harley’s at the last convention) I really want to dress as Harley because I think she’s a great character and if I had an alter ego, I’d want it to be like her.

What do you want to Cosplay as? Let me know in the comments below!

Life Update: We’re Moving!

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I spent the last few days moving boxes, going to IKEA and trying to sort out the piles and piles of books that I own. Yes! We finally have the keys to our new home. It’s taken a long time of trying to find a place that we liked, sorting ourselves out with jobs and security. We found this flat a few days after Christmas and have spent just under a month filling out paperwork, going through referencing checks, finding furniture and all that jazz. I’m so happy with our new home and can’t wait to make it 100% ours.

Feminist Friday: To Those Who Need Support Today

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Hello,

When the election results were announced I, like many of you, was shocked, scared an angry. To express my feelings and reach out to those who were struggling I wrote an open letter to those who didn’t vote for Trump. I wanted to use tonight’s Feminist Friday post to speak not only to women but to all who feel they need a helping hand, to those who have been offended by Trump and his administration. I am speaking to women, the African-American community, the LGBTQA+ community, immigrants, the disabled, first generation Americas, various religious groups. To all of you. The rest of the world hasn’t forgotten you.

It’s not that I wanted to write tonight, I needed to write this. It was a compulsion. I caught the last half hour of the inauguration and was struck by the sorrow on Michelle Obama’s face. Her face said what so many people were thinking and feeling. The anger and confusion that a man who has a record of being sexist, a sexual predator, islamophobic, racist, the list goes on. I wanted to tell you that he doesn’t represent the American people. He shows that there is a flawed political system, that fear and hatred have been used as a tool to gain power.

The next four years are going to be tough, there’s no doubt BUT he is one person and there are ways that we can fight against his hatred around the world. When people care for each other and listen to each other the world becomes a better place. I was proud to hear about the Women’s Marches taking place today, about those who have stood up against the harassment of others, those who have made donations to Planned Parenthood. There are so many acts of defiance and kindness that we can choose to focus on, rather than him.

No matter how tough the next four years are, know that there is support for you, know that there is love in the world. There are people that will listen to your worries and concerns. I haven’t lost hope for America, I believe there is still good, decent and kind people who care about issues outlined above.

Stay strong, speak out, we love you.

Mental and Physical Health

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I have a confession to make my lovely readers. I have not been looking after myself. In the past few months, I have been severely lacking at going to the gym and keeping up with my fitness. There’s a lot of reasons that my fitness has taken a hit, partly due to not feeling up to it after work, partly struggling with pain levels and mostly motivation. Yep, motivation, that little bugger.

When the gym was 5 minutes away and I only had a few hours of uni a week, working out was easy. If I felt like going to the gym I could just go, I could make it the first thing I did in the day and if my muscles were aching I could spent the rest of the day in comfortable clothes and blankets with and write from home. I don’t have that luxury anymore. You see I start work at 8am, meaning if I wanted to get an hour in at the gym before work I’d have to get up at 5am. I would not make it through the day if I did that.

There’s a lot of pressure at this time of year to go on a complete fitness hype. To work out all the time and join clubs to slim down, cut back on what we eat. To those of you who are motivated by things like that I salute you, but I’m not one of them. For me my body, my weight and my mood are very personal to me. The thought of being weighed in front of others, or having the pressure of a weigh-in would not do me good, I’m pretty sure it would do the opposite. Likewise, I don’t have bathroom scales in the house, because I know that I can get obsessive.

When it comes to my mental health, food can be a crutch for me. When I’m sad I’ve been known to cheer myself up with food and then be weighed down with guilt. I’ve also been known to get so obsessed with a number on a scale that I don’t want to eat. It can really go either way and I’m not willing to give the dark part of my brain something to feed on. It’s because of this I’ve started taking the measures that I did before, when I was at uni. While it’s not the same (I move around a lot less as I have to drive to work and only have a half hour lunch break) I do want to make a positive impact on my life, because I have been frustrated with myself.

I’m going to the gym with my sister and have cut down on what I eat. I’m so used to snacking because I get bored and not being able to say no to food going spare (today I passed on free Dominoes pizza, it was a proud moment), but I’m not doing it anymore. I have an allotted amount of food to eat. I want to try and stick to this. Of course if I’m going out for the day or evening with friends and want to have something I will, I’m not cutting out the things I enjoy completely.

Really I just want to get back to focusing on my health and feel good about myself, my mind and my body again. No fad diets. No wanting to be a ridiculous size or weight.  Just happy and healthy, that’s all I want to be. Also, next month I’ll be having spinal injections to tackle the pain, meaning that I’ll hopefully be getting around and able to work out a bit more without having to stop for pain!

Coping With January Blues

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Now that we’re into the second week of January, I’ve heard a few people mention the January Blues. Who can blame them? It’s a little while until payday and the weather is less than wonderful right now. I can personally vouch that things feel a little less than rosy right now. When you combine the usual January blues with depression it can make life extremely hard, even the smallest things can feel like a chore. And when you’re faced with getting up in the dark (and in my case sometimes arriving at work in the dark) and coming home from work in the dark it can make you feel a little trapped.

So, how do we go about trying to help ourselves? How do we fight through the next 3 weeks of this month? I thought I’d come up with a little list of things that can be done to get ourselves through when the time of year isn’t exactly helping.

Remember that the days can only get longer 

Good news, we’ve now had the longest day so from this point on the days can only get shorter from here. It may be a long way off but Spring will come sooner rather than later.

If you want to eat, eat. 

It’s cold, it’s dark. If you want to eat classic winter meals like stew, Sheppard’s pie, general pie and lots of potatoes then do it. Starving yourself for a diet when

Try and get outside a little. 

I’m the worst for this but if you can go out and get a little walk when it’s not raining it can help. Being cooped up in a house or in the office the whole time can make you feel a lot worse, even if it is a really struggle to motivate yourself to go out there.

Know that it’s ok to struggle. 

I know a lot of people struggle with the feelings that they should be happy. There’s a big problem with the would should. I’ve felt like this recently that I should be happy, which is easy to say. Hearing that other people are having a bit of a wobble too makes me feel better. It’s definitely ok to struggle this time of year.

Don’t feel pressured by New Years Resolutions 

I don’t make them because I think it’s a terrible time to say you’re going to change all of these things. I don’t know about you but warmth and clear skies do a lot more for my motivation than cold and rain. Don’t feel pressured by others to do them! I work on things I want to do when I’m most motivated, which for me is in the Spring when things are actually new and generally nicer to look at.

Look After Yourself 

Self-care isn’t selfish. Say it with me, SELF-CARE ISN’T SELFISH. You can’t help anyone if you don’t help yourself. Make life easier for yourself and make sure that you look after number one, because you need to rely on yourself.

What are your top tips for coping with the January Blues? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me – @chloemetzger.

Sunday Seven: 2017 Book Releases

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A new year means new book releases and I am so excited. I have had a little nose around at what’s going to be coming up this year and there are definitely some crackers to get excited about! So let’s get stuck in.

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This Is How It Always Is – Laurie Frankel

‘When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl. Rosie and Penn want Claude to be whoever Claude wants to be. They’re just not sure they’re ready to share that with the world. Soon the entire family is keeping Claude’s secret. Until one day it explodes.’

I’m intrigued by the fact that hiding their child’s true self ‘explodes’ and what this means, I really hope this is a novel that shows what it means to be a family in this situation.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

 

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This is how it happened – Paula Stokes 

When Genevieve Grace wakes up from a coma, she can’t remember the car crash that injured her and killed her boyfriend Dallas, a YouTube star who had just released his first album. Genevieve knows she was there, and that there was another driver, a man named Brad Freeman, who everyone assumes is guilty. But as she slowly pieces together the night of the accident, Genevieve is hit with a sickening sense of dread—that maybe she had something to do with what happened.

I’m really interested in this novel because it looks at the idea of hero worship of Youtube stars, guilt and a mystery. Sign me up.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

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The Art of Feeling – Laura Tims 

Since the car accident, Samantha Herring has been in pain, not only from her leg injury, but also from her mother’s death, which has devastated her family. After pushing away her friends, Sam has receded into a fog of depression. But then Sam meets Eliot, a reckless loner with an attitude and an amazing secret—he can’t feel any pain.

I know what it’s like to live with chronic pain after my own injury so the premise of this is really interesting. It’ll be interesting to pick it up and see what the authors interpretation of living with chronic pain is,

Full blurb on Goodreads.

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Happy – Fearne Cotton 

“This book is a way to release what’s going on inside your head and to keep heading towards the good stuff. The simple stuff. The stuff that’s going to really hit up that happiness on a deep and nourishing level. Whether you dip into these pages every now and then when you feel you need it, or use it daily as a positive exercise, I hope it brings you much relief, joy and calm. Amen to the pen.” – Fearne Cotton

I was told this is a book for over-thinkers, sign me up right now.

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A Quiet Kind of Thunder – Sara Barnard 

Steffi has been a selective mute for most of her life – she’s been silent for so long that she feels completely invisible. But Rhys, the new boy at school, sees her. He’s deaf, and her knowledge of basic sign language means that she’s assigned to look after him. To Rhys, it doesn’t matter that Steffi doesn’t talk, and as they find ways to communicate, Steffi finds that she does have a voice, and that she’s falling in love with the one person who makes her feel brave enough to use it.

I want to read a lot more diverse books this year and the premise of this book fills me with happiness at the blurb. I need to get me hands on this one.

Find it on Goodreads.

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Difficult Women – Roxane Gay 

The women in these stories live lives of privilege and of poverty, are in marriages both loving and haunted by past crimes or emotional blackmail.

I haven’t read too many collections of short stories, but I’d like to try and read a few more. I absolutely loved Roxane Gay’s Ted Talk when I watched it in uni, Bad Feminist has been on my TBR forever, so it only makes sense to add Difficult Women to my list. That and I think we need more ‘difficult women’ in the world.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

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Sour Hearts – Jenny Zhang

Centered on a community of immigrants who have traded their endangered lives as artists in China and Taiwan for the constant struggle of life at the poverty line in 1990s New York City, Zhang’s exhilarating collection examines the many ways that family and history can weigh us down and also lift us up.

This is the first novel from Lena Dunham’s publishing company. While I have mixed feelings about Lena and the comments she makes, she’s really struck gold by the looks of it. This is another novel I want to read that shows diversity and the struggles of others in regards to immigration. I feel like this is also needed when we’re facing the leader of the free world being so anti-immigration.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

2017 on chloemetzger.com!

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A new year and more blogs to write and plan for you all to read. I really had trouble tonight thinking of what I wanted to write, what direction I wanted to go. A few nights ago I asked those of you who follow me on twitter (@chloemetzger) who you would like to see more of on my blog and if you’d like me to write two book reviews a week (!!). The majority of you did want two book reviews a week, which is something I’m working on doing in this years planning. In terms of what you’d like to see you asked for more mental health related posts and more general lifestyle posts. I am more than happy to give the people what they want!

So far I post Book Reviews on a Thursday, Feminist Friday’s and Sunday Seven. Three regular slots that my lovely subscribers and Twitter followers know are coming. After hearing back from some of you I’m also hoping to add a weekly mental health post and more general lifestyle in between. Basically, I want to get a more regular schedule together for the blog and make 2017 really productive and positive year for the blog.

I’m really proud of how it’s evolved and how many of you that I get to talk to and interact with online. It’s because of all of this and the positivity I have felt from you guys I’m taking active steps to write my book. Yep, I’m not calling it a resolution for this year because I know that it could take years before I’m happy with it and I also know that there’s a chance it will never get published, but what the hell.  This blogs in its fourth year now and I know I can write long pieces from my dreaded dissertation, so why not?

Is there anything else you want to see or maybe that you’re excited about? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me!

The 2016 Round-up

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Well, well, well what a year it’s been. I feel like I’ve been thrown right in the deep end in the past 12 months of the good, the bad and the ugly!

January 

The year started off a little bumpy…

I was sick with a mystery illness that had been going a few weeks already

I was focused on weight loss…

But took charge of my future, getting another implant!

February

I started to think, and panic, a lot, about jobs and graduation and got rejected.

I started Sunday Seven!

I embraced Feminism

I fell in love with Deadpool

 I tried to appreciate things in tough times and combatted stress.

I took part in my last ever Reading and Enrichment Week at uni!

A not so nice trip to the hospital, laying in a short stay ward.

March

I was shortlisted for another KU Talent Award

I got honest about how anxiety affects my social life

My Dissertation Got Real

April

I was invited to Brighton to speak on a conference panel!

I admitted I got a little jealous at the gym…

I got my diagnosis

I was concerned about my future…

And I really struggled towards the end.

I handed in my Dissertation though! And the rest of my assignments.

May

I started seriously job hunting, and wondered what to do.

I saw Busted again

I celebrated Mental Health Awareness Week on my website

I went to May Comicon and dressed up for the first time!

June

I was offered my first full-time job.

I carried on fighting with my body.

I voted in the EU Referendum…and was horribly disappointed with the result.

No People Club struck a match and released our EP.

I got a new Car!

July

We moved out of our Kingston flat, which was so, so difficult.

We played the main stage of Basingstoke Live, a goal of mine for almost 10 years!

I celebrated Star Wars in style!

I graduated!

I waited until midnight for Harry Potter with my Mum and best friend

September 

I thought about my future

I talked about why I wasn’t studying a postgrad

I turned 22

October 

I let go

I welcomed a certain little man

I spoke honestly about mental health waitlists, diagnosis and living with chronic pain

I decided to go Cruelty free!

Another October, another comic-con

We lost Noodle

November 

I read 100 books

I quit my job

I wrote an open letter to those who didn’t vote Trump

I started a new job!

I got in the Christmas spirit at Winchester Christmas market

I finally got some good news about my spine

Fantastic Beasts came out, and it was beautiful

December

I met Carrie Fisher, before we tragically lost her

I celebrated my first month in my new job

Rogue One was incredible

I shared my top 10 books of 2016

Who knows what 2017 is going to bring, I just hope it’s a good one.