Category: feminism

Feminist Fridays: How Girlpower inspired my Feminism

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Today is the 20 year anniversary of the album ‘SPICE’ one that shaped my life. While a lot of people would find it odd that I’m equating the Spice Girls with feminism (particularly after those comments by Geri Halliwell about ‘bra burning lesbians back in 2007), but hear me out. I worshipped the Spice Girls as a little girl, from the age of two I would watch their videos on the TV and beg my Mum to put the tape on again and again. I remember watching them switch the Oxford Street lights on on TV and had the dolls, the clothes and knew the words to every single song. It was more than pop music, because by the time I was five I was shouting Girl Power at just about anyone who would listen.

This morning I drove to work to Spice, listening to songs the reminded me of my childhood and thinking it about what these songs mean to me now and I was surprised. I was gobsmacked at how different these girls were. While I might not have completely understood the lyrics as a little girl, as a grown woman I was proud. Wannabe spoke about friends being more important than boyfriends, 2 become 1 was about safe sex, Love Thing was about women not being interested in a serious relationship and just being themselves, Mama about the connection with their mothers and Who Do You Think You Are about the industry. These weren’t soppy love songs or about women focusing on being sexy and nothing else. As I grew I listened to their other albums and the messages were similar.

I knew that Girl Power meant that I was equal to the boys, I could kick butt. I never felt like I was less than any boy or that I couldn’t do a job because I was a girl. The Spice Girls started that for me, that belief and while I do find Geri’s comments troublesome I understand her resistance to the word. Hell, I was against calling myself a feminist and the label of feminism wasn’t appealing. The interview says:

” OK, concedes Halliwell, maybe she is a feminist: but she has a few distinct caveats. One objection seems to be that she fears feminism will emasculate and demoralise men: but her bigger problem is its image. “It’s about labelling. For me feminism is bra-burning lesbianism. It’s very unglamorous. I’d like to see it rebranded. We need to see a celebration of our femininity and softness.” 

Something which I’m sure a lot of us have felt about portrayals, particularly looking at how feminism was viewed in the 90s.  Either way watching them and listening to their positive messages about what it means to be a girl and rely on each other and I truly think it shaped who I am today and I think they helped a lot of other little girls too.

 

Feminist Friday: Scary NOT Sexy.

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It’s the beginning of Halloween weekend, which means the delights of sweets, parties for some and London Comic Con for me. For the last few years, I’ve been to some kind of Halloween party, I’ve always dressed up. That said, but the older I’ve gotten the more uncomfortable I’ve felt about the costumes available to me. Every costume I looked at in the shops this year and last year and the year before that had the smallest amount of fabric possible. A man could be a surgeon, nurse, wizard or characters from TV and film, while pre-bought costumes for women are all about being ‘sexy’. Hell, you can get a costume to be a sexy bumblebee and prior to the release of the new Ghostbusters movie that women’s version of the costume was a tight fitted, bum skimming dress. I don’t know about you, but I think it would be hard to catch ghosts in something that barely covers your bum.

I know that people think I’m overreacting when I call out this sexist BS, but how can I not? Why are women expected to wear costumes that are designed for men. Let’s be honest, they’re not designed for women because wearing hardly any clothes in October not comfortable. Now I understand wanting to wear something a little flirty or fun, but the industry has gotten ridiculous a Finding Nemo costume for men is Nemo, a costume for women is a skimpy dress in Nemo colours. What?

This might seem silly, it might seem like something that’s not worth shouting about, but it is. Why should I have to wear a costume that doesn’t fit because the one made for women isn’t for me to enjoy myself it’s for the viewing pleasure of others. This is what it means to be objectified by industry. I refuse to buy these stupid and sexist costumes. If that means I have to make my own I will. Halloween is supposed to be a little scary and fun, not a boob fest! Don’t feel pressured to buy or wear these costumes, you’re worth more than a cheap revealing costume. Screw being sexy, be whoever you damn want and for me, that’s the Scarlet Witch for Comic Con, an awesome, smart and badass female, not a ‘sexy cat’.

Feminist Fridays: Including All Women

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Feminism is about equality. Equality for all women to be treated the same as women. There are two key words in that sentence equality and all. When I was 18 I wrote a project on ‘The image of African-American women in post-1900s literature’, while writing it I read a lot about black feminism, I found it interesting but didn’t really understand it at the time. Recently I’ve noticed the distinct lack of inclusion of women of ethnic minorities when I read about feminism. So many of the great feminist writers and speakers are white, and often middle class. There’s nothing wrong with hearing their experiences, but they cannot speak for all women. I am also a white, educated young women and the important thing is that I realise other women have opinions and stories and we need to listen to them. We need more diversity.

For a long time I thought wearing a hijab was oppressive, how dare a religion tell a woman what she can and cannot wear. That was until I met a friend of mine at university, Salma, as well as speaking to other girls in my class about why they chose to cover their heads. Now Salma is one of the most kick ass people I met at uni, we spoke a few times and it isn’t a big deal to her. She wears a scarf because she wants to. Good for her. It doesn’t stop her being who she is, funny and kind, but instead of feminism trying to tell her what she does it wrong, we should stand up for the right for women to wear what they like. I’ve heard countless accounts of black women I’ve known being treated unfairly because they are black and female, or I’ve read about black women not being allowed to wear their hair naturally at work. We should be working together to beat this discrimination.

I also can’t understand why some people,I’m looking at you Germaine Greer, won’t accept Trans women into feminism. They are women, they have been born into the wrong body. Hell being a woman is hard, anyone who’s willing to go through the immense pressure and change of making your body how it should be is a kind of hero to me. Why can’t people accept these women into feminism and fight for their rights, the right for them to use the damn bathroom or get access to good medical care.

I completely understand that different women will have difference issues and opinions but we’re all women. If we work together, respecting each others choices and personal feminism think of how much we could get achieved and how much we could learn too. I’m a feminist and I care about ALL women’s rights, regardless of race,choice or sexual orientation. Who’s with me??

Feminist Friday: We All Need to Stand Up to Sexual Assualt

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you can’t have failed to have heard about that tape. The tape that Donald Trump dismissed as ‘locker room talk’ after shouting louder, but Bill Clinton did worse! As if the allegations against another man seemingly made his disappear and as more allegations against Trump come forward he deems his accusers ‘horrible women’, despite the fact he has been caught on camera many times, are not important. I don’t understand how this person could potentially be a leader of one of the most powerful nations in the world. After one of his comments, one girl decided she wasn’t going to take his comments lightly.
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Courtesy of Twitter/@LMcCrystal
With his words and follow up Trump has tried to normalise sexual assault, calling it ‘locker room talk’. That has offended both men and women, who know that this isn’t the case. These comments are the type of things that lead to women being told to ‘lighten up’ or that ‘boys will be boys’, something that I’ve been at the centre of. I’ve had guys try and touch me when I’m out, who won’t take no for an answer and follow me around. I’ve had guys get aggressive or call me a ‘slut’ or a ‘whore’ or had lies spread about me because I’d turned them down and because they could. Because no one would question them. I’ve been in clubs and had a guy feel me up without permission and felt powerless as they’ve carried on watching after I’d shouted at them. People I’d been out with told me to ‘cool it’ and that it’s just the way it is.
The way these things are ignored and laughed off are not ok. Sexual assault is serious, because if people think they’re going to get away with it, they believe they can get away with more. This happens to both women and men, how can we start to crack down on this? How can we work on educating young people that this isn’t the norm when people in the public eye make comments like this. We need to keep talking about sexual assault. We need to stand up to the lies that this is just a part of life, because it’s not.

Feminist Friday: 5 Contemporary Non Fiction Books Every Feminist Should Read

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We’ve all heard of the classic feminist texts from The Second Sex to The Female Eunuch, some of us have even studied them. While I fully understand their importance, they can be quite heavy and slightly hard to relate to the 21st century woman. Fear not! I’ve compiled a list of 5 Feminist books that I think are definitely worth a read. Don’t forget I love to hear from you all so if you can recommend any more, leave me a note in the comments!

 

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Girl Up 

Laura Bates features twice on this list, and with good reason. While a few years ago Laura was relatively unknown she’s now a key voice in modern british feminism. This is her second book, Girl Up is a book I wish I’d had growing up. With a mix of serious messages, humor and drawings of dancing vaginas (yes, you read that right), what more can I say? This has Laura’s stamp all over it and although it would help teenagers I thoroughly enjoyed it as a twenty something and it was comforting to know Laura herself wasn’t 100% confident in calling herself a feminist once upon a time.

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Everyday Sexism 

Laura’s first book was based on the website she founded, based to give women a safe space to call out everyday sexism, after it happened to her one too many times. It made me realise that, actually, the way I’d been treated in the street, in pubs and clubs, even at university wasn’t ok and I wasn’t ‘over reacting’. It’s such an important book and really makes you think about anything you may have passed off in fear of looking like you’re overreacting.

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How To Be A Woman

This book changed my life. Caitlin is an incredible writer and feminist. She’s both funny and gives insight into issues around us. This made me declare I was a feminist and not give a damn what anyone else thought. I reviewed it here.

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The Vagenda

Holly and Rhiannon have taken on the magazine and media culture we’re faced with. For a long time I’ve read women’s magazines and have increasingly felt frustrated were real women like this? Why did we need all these make up ads and ‘please your man’ articles recycled every month. This was eye opening and I found myself cheering them on and I haven’t read a ‘women’s’ magazine since.  

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Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism

I’ll admit that when I read a section of this for a class, I wasn’t impressed, however the more I read the more I agreed. Walter looks at the impact that the doll has had on women and why there is such a fascination with women being depicted as barbies or childlike. An intriguing read.

 

 

Feminist Fridays: The Sun Can’t Handle Emma Watson’s success

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Emma Watson gave a brilliant speech this week in regards to sexual assault in universities in colleges. Emma has been vocal in a thought provoking and honest way about gender equality after becoming a UN Goodwill Ambassador. Once again, the Sun has shown is misogynistic colours and highlighting the fact that it cannot be considered a newspaper, due to it not reporting the facts. The Sun as a paper has had multiple issues in regards to sexism over the years from Page 3 to their coverage of women in general, this is it’s latest blow. By refusing to call Emma by her name, merely by a character’s, the Sun appear childish and petty, while making it appear to be something to laugh about. Clearly the ‘journalist’ who wrote the piece thought that a young woman of high intelligence (who achieved consistently high grades and studied at Oxford and Brown for her degree) who is attempting to promote equality of the sexes was a threat, just as many of their colleagues at the Sun have done previously.

Perhaps what is most horrific, the writer has deemed a call for equality and highlighting the high statistics of rape that are happening around the world as ‘whinging leftie crap’ shows a shocking amount of ignorance. Rape, whether that is towards men or women, is a violent sexual act, if standing up and standing out is ‘whinging leftie crap’ then call me what you like. They continue to state that ‘all actresses’ will talk about such issues if ‘given the chance’, a woman using her voice to do good in the world you say? The horror. Again, the author of the piece highlights women in this context specifically, by noting only actresses they leave it open for men to speak out and take up causes, but allude to women having to stay silent. Oh no that they are allowed opinions, but shouldn’t be taken seriously (because that makes it ok). The author also took a jab at actress Angelina Jolie, known for her high profile charity campaigns as well as acting talents, and her impending divorce. The sexism is astounding and I question the editor that allowed what I can only describe as poison, to be published in a national paper.

It’s obvious to me that a large majority of those who work at the Sun fear young and intelligent women speaking out. They fear women stepping forward and challenging ideas, rather than just being something to undress and look at. Time and time again women have been shamed for how they look or disrespected by tabloid press for how they choose to act. They use their prying eyes to take pictures of young actresses and use headlines such as ‘all grown up’ to describe young women who have only just turned eighteen, so that they can present them to readers in sexualised formats. These are all tactics to keep women silent, to keep their opinions to themselves. It is in light of this that both women and men need to stand up against such blatant sexism in the press.

Feminist Fridays: Little Girls and Lipstick

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I’m a firm believer that women should do what empowers them and not take any notice of anyone else. For some this means putting on their make up or perhaps a lipstick to go out, to make them feel confident. Hell, I know I’ve put on a splash of lipstick to make me feel more confident than I really am. While I’m not a frequent make up wearer, I understand that others do and respect their choice. Banning make up isn’t going to sole gender inequality in the world. This week, however, I did have a serious think about children and make up.

When I was a little girl I thought my Mum’s red lipstick was the most classy thing ever ( which is probably where my love for a good red lip comes from), but she only did this when we were going out somewhere special. Day to day, while my Mum used make up it wasn’t made out to be a big thing, she could go out without it if she wanted too, and often did. Now she has two daughters, one who has minimal interest in make up (me) and another who can shame some make up artists if she tried (my sister). I thought back to our childhoods and the way make up was presented to us, it was just another thing. Did we want our nails painted like our Mums? Of course we did but that’s all it was, Mum never showed us a desperation or a need for make up.

Now, when I look for presents for my Goddaughter, due to the fact she’ll be a big sister soon, I find myself increasingly frustrated about what is put on the shelves and the child models themselves. Someone on my Facebook shared an image of a toy that was marketed as 5+ but, alarmingly, the little girls on the front appeared to have red lips. There are piles upon piles of ‘toys’ that have nail varnishes, lipgloss etc with Disney Princesses on. I fully understand little girls wanting to be like their Mums and Sisters but at the same time I’m worried that at the age of 3 or 4 little girls are introduced to an idea that playing, for them, is to do with their appearance.

We all know that growing up is not easy, so why are the toy companies cashing in on making little girls grow up even quicker? I know it’s about business, I know it’s about profit but there’s something I find deeply uncomfortable about it. You don’t want a 4 year old thinking that all they can do is play with dolls and lipgloss. I’m a big believer in letting children be children, because they are for such a short time. Women are told to worry about their bodies from all kinds of media for their entire lives, but putting lipstick on a child that’s going to go on a toy box? It’s too far. We need to take back the toy aisles. We need to tell girls it’s ok to want to play with other things, that they can build whatever they like about lego and we need the kids on the boxes to look like happy and healthy kids, not a dressed up version.

Sometimes, when I write these, I just feel an overwhelming sadness. I struggled so much to fit in even at secondary school because the only make up I was interested was eyeliner, and a lot of it. I struggled when girls would be making up dance routines or playing ‘Mums and Dads’, because I was leading an army in the woods with the boys. I’m not saying that I didn’t LOVE body glitter the age of 10 or put on my Mum’s make up like other girls, of course I did at home. The thing is for almost al of my life I’ve felt like make up was just a thing, not the be all and end all. I don’t care if I go on without it, but I worry about what little girls are seeing now. Look at everyone on Youtube doing make up tutorials, the images used on boxes and the pop stars they watch. There’s never a hair out of place and images are photoshopped for perfection. It may only be a little bit of make up on a model but I for one want to give kids as much time to be kids as possible, before they have to deal with growing up.

Feminist Fridays: The Stanford Case

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The Stanford Rapist was released this month, after a mere 3 months in jail after being convicted of raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster, only to be caught by two men who tackled him to the ground. For women everywhere the fact that the rapist was ordered to serve 6 months (and got let out early for ‘good behaviour’) instead of the many years he could have served was a slap in the face. It was explained that a longer sentence would have a big impact on his life…with no mention of the young woman who has to live with the trauma of being raped for the rest of her life. Oh and he was and still is notoriously described as the ‘swimmer’ rather than rapist, a title he deserves.

Sexual Assault can happen to both men and women and both are considered a taboo to speak out about. While women are notoriously shamed for what they drank, who they go out with and what they wear, lawyers will also go to extreme lengths to make it sound like the woman ‘wanted it’. In this case, being unconscious behind a bin doesn’t add up to wanting sex, it adds up to being drugged and abused. I won’t write his name on my blog, because he is disgusting and repulsive plus any news outlet has too much information on him anyway. There have been an outpouring of emotional responses, none that touched my heart more than the video below:

Assault is assault, it needs to be punished.

Feminist Fridays: Career AND Family- Why I Refuse to Choose.

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We all know that the dreaded question is asked of all women at a certain age, when are you going to have children (it’s never are you going to have children, but that’s for another post). Recently I was having a conversation which somehow turned to me and my partner having children in the future. I was slightly caught off guard because it’s not something we’re planning on for a few years, until were both settled with secure incomes and our own home (we’re currently living with family while we get on our feet after university). Even so, our company were adamant that I would be leaving work and my career to care and raise our children, while he goes and earns the money to support us.

Yeah. You read that right.

I couldn’t hide my shock at being told this. When asked why I have to be the one to stay at home/ give the most care I was simply told it’s because I’d give birth to them. Well…that’s what maternity leave is for. It simply wasn’t accepted that my partner, who I’d trust with my life, should look after our children, nor should I be the one to support us (even though we’ve discussed this in the past and will make the decision  .

I’m one of those women who has known she’s wanted children since her teens. I love kids, I love my friends kids and I’d love to be a Mum someday. BUT that’s not all I want to be, I love my job and I’m excited about my career and where it can go for me. I want to be able to travel and work my butt off in something that I’m passionate about. Neither of these are either/or situations. I’m lucky that I work with two wonderful women who have balanced a child and a job.

I feel like there are too many people who think that gender stereotypes are the way it should be and the way it should stay. We’re in 2016! As I’ve said time and time again Feminism is about making a choice. My Mum, Aunt and Nanna all raised their kids at home and that was their choice and it made them happy. I know people who’s Mum’s worked full time, who worked part time. None of these situations did their children any harm. We guilt mothers who go out to work, because in societies eyes once you’re a mother that’s your only identity. Likewise mothers who stay at home to raise their children are deemed ‘unfeminist’ by some, which is total BS. We need to make sure women have the right to choose in both a social and economic way.

I’m not planning on having a child for years but I know right now that having a child won’t automatically stop my career. I fully intend to work, because ultimately I’ve worked hard and in the next few years I intend to work even harder. There should be choice for women AND men. I refuse to chose between one and the other. I refuse to put the pressure on my partner to be the breadwinner and refuse to be pressured myself.

Have you had similar things said to you?

 

 

Feminist Fridays: Can Women Ever Really Win?

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Today the French High Court ruled that the ‘burkini ban’ as it has been dubbed is illegal. After images of a woman being forced to undress on a beach in France made headlines around the world, it lead me to think about whether a woman can ever really win in terms of what they wear. So, when seeing this image I don’t think anyone else has quite summed it up in better way. It’s apparent that women from all backgrounds and walks of life a judged and/ or deemed unsuitable by someone.

Women are told that they should cover up, have respect for themselves, because they need to have pride, but not too much. You need to look attractive for work, but not too attractive because otherwise you won’t be taken seriously. If you don’t put on make-up or style your hair you’re lazy and don’t want to make an effort. And hair on your body? Do you have no pride? As for breasts, don’t even think about feeding your child in public, get to the toilet it’s too vulgar, but if you want to show them online or in a magazine you’re more than welcome. As long as you’re thin enough that is. You want to cover up? Why would you want to do that are you fridged? Of course you are with a skirt length like that. Covering your face and your hair for a religion? You must be oppressed, stand up to them. You want to cover up on a beach? We can’t allow that, it’s illegal here.

There are so many contradictions and expectations upon women, of course there are also issues for men in terms of what is expected of them, that I’m not denying. The Burkini ban, however, shows the extent of the ridiculousness that we have found ourselves in. The swimming costume was not offensive and didn’t do any harm, instead it allowed a woman to feel comfortable while enjoying time with her family. Feminism, after all, is about women having the right to choose what they do with their bodies. It’s not different to someone wearing a swimming cap and wetsuit. There is so many more problems that police and law makers should be focusing on, instead of alienating women simply for what they chose to wear.

 

A HUGE thank you to @LaSauvageJaune for letting me use this image.