Have you ever noticed how everyone is always rushing? To do something or to find something, there’s always something. I know, I know I am the absolute worst for this, I’m not good at relaxing and always want my mind to be occupied by something. For the last few days I haven’t had a choice. After having my injections I haven’t had a choice. To cut a long story short, my body wasn’t that happy about having 10 needles put into a sore spot and had a bit of a freakout. I wasn’t allowed to go to work, couldn’t really walk very well and was in a lot of pain.
It very quickly took me back to where I was when I broke my spine, but I had nearly two years of living with the pain to contend with. I didn’t have a choice but to slow down this time, because if I pushed it too much then the whole injections, hospital, pain would have been for nothing. So I had to take a few days off work and focus on getting myself better. It meant letting myself be looked after by my family, by Ali, reading a lot and drinking a lot of tea.
For the first time since my hospital visit I went out for a walk today. Wrapped up against the snow and the cold with my faithful Doc Martens and my hand in Ali’s. It may sound simple, going for a walk but it made me so thankful. I didn’t make a big deal about it but I was terrified something would go wrong, that I would wake up and not be able to walk, I spent a few months back in 2015 with the very real possibility that I could lose the ability to walk.
It’s so simple to talk walking for granted before it’s almost taken away from you. With every walk, every workout session I thank my lucky stars that my legs are working. I have struggles but when I spent time in a wheelchair and only able to take little steps it was hard and it changes your life more than you could ever imagine. I am always trying to make things easier for those less able than I am.
I know this is a little rambling, it might not make much sense but I needed to get this down, out of my head. I’ve thought a lot while I’ve been healing and have had long and meaningful conversation with my best friend and the love of my life, another thing that I cannot take for granted. To put it simply, we all need to slow down and admire what we have, but sometimes we need to be forced to see it.