It’s been a few weeks now since everything was submitted and I’ve been swaying between getting super organised and having loads to do and having hardly anything to do. I didn’t expect to have a job straight away but getting rejection email after rejection email isn’t fun and has kind of put a dampener on this week. It’s also made me think a lot about what I want to do, who I want to be. There’s all these questions that people ask me about life where I’m going to live, what I’m going to do, what my future plans are blah, blah, blah. The funny thing is they expect me to know all this…am I supposed to?
From the friends I’ve spoken to most of us feel this way, the whole what am I meant to do now? Is on everyone’s minds, as well as trying to work out who I am again? I’ve had a whole life here, people have known me for who I’ve been at uni, not my past. I guess that’s a huge reservation I have about moving back to my home town. I can’t stand to see the people I went to school with, who bullied me because I’m not that girl anymore. I wish I didn’t care what anyone thought but let’s be honest, how many 21 year olds do you know who don’t care one bit what anyone thinks, really.
I searched for a quote, because sometimes the folks on Pinterest say exactly what I’m feeling when I can’t put it into words and of course Queen Emma Watson says what I was thinking. I want to use this time to kind of work out who I am post-uni, work out what I want and all this stuff but I think I’m just a little nervous, a little terrified. I’m still unsure but I guess that’s normal and hopefully I’ll figure it out along the way.