I can’t sleep…

When I can’t sleep I think a lot and just generally reflect on my life in general. It’s not always a good thing, sometimes I just seem to torture myself and feel awful because I’m tired but tonight I’m wide awake and feeling grateful. There are going to be a lot of changes this year and I am scared about them and not knowing what the future holds. I am really lucky as well though because I’ve got someone truly amazing by my side whatever happens.

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Ali and I in Athens last summer when he had to escort me after breaking my spine. 

Ali and I met when we were at school. He was a stick thin and quite shy 14 year old and I was a quite loud 13 year old. We were friends for a while and then got together, then weren’t together and then got together again and it’s stayed that way ever since. A lot of people don’t understand how we’ve managed nearly 8 years together but we’ve just become a stronger couple. We try new things to make sure we have things in common even as we grow, currently geeking out about our cosplay for the summer. Hint: Star Wars.

Anyway, I laid tonight trying to fall asleep and I thought about a lot of stuff and just felt overwhelmingly grateful that this wonderful human chooses to be in my life. Even when I’m moody, irrational and a pain in the ass he still sticks around. He half carried me around for 6 months when I couldn’t walk and had to do almost everything for me. I don’t know, maybe I’m soppy but I’ve been full of self doubt and anxiety lately and he’s just made me feel better.

Of course we both have our own lives, friends and interests too. That’s kind of what makes things as good as they are but it’s even better when we introduce each other to new things. When we’re in our little home and let ourselves be 100% ourselves with no judgement. Of course we argue, we’re both stubborn and have strong opinions but I LOVE our debates when we can’t sleep. When we talk complete and utter rubbish for hours just because.

I don’t want to seem like I have the perfect life or the perfect relationship, we have our flaws. The thing is though I’ve never felt like I’ve missed out, we’re young but experiencing life together. I don’t know about him, but I get happy or excited about silly little things just because we get to do them together and I never have to be anything but myself with him.

Anyway that’s just my nightly ramblings while I can’t sleep. In all honest, I wouldn’t change any of this for the world, cause I’ve got a pretty cool guy who can make me smile no matter what 🙂

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