I decided that despite attending my Student Ambassador interview today I wanted to write a blog about the people who come back week after week and read my thoughts and feelings. After yesterdays blog post I was overwhelmed by the positive responses from so many people both my WordPress and Twitter exploded with comments, likes and retweets and it really made me get my confidence back. I’ve had people I go to uni with come up and talk to me about the blog, about mental illness which is more than I ever thought I could do.
I’m not writing this because I think I’m famous but I did want to let you all know I appreciate every comment, like or follow. It helps me along the way more than people realise and I hope that I can keep writing this blog during my time and uni and beyond. This illness isn’t a curse, it can be a pain in the arse but the little conversations I have with people knowing that I have, in some ways, helped them? That’s something incredible in itself.
I also wanted to let you all know that aside from writing I’m working really hard with my band No People Club and today something odd happened. I was in a bit of an anxious state, I usually flinch away from the mic but given time I picked it up and I just sang an idea I really wasn’t sure of. Sounds simple, right? For me it’s difficult when my heart and soul goes into my lyrics and if they’re not perfect I hate to show them. Somethng happened tonight where I jsut thought, the boys won’t care if I hit a bum note or don’t have this worked out yet and you know what? They didn’t at all.
It really is the little things like that that make such a difference to me, little things I’ve struggled with that I can finally do. It might not be simple, it could come back tomorrow, next week or next year and I hate that, but for now I did it. Next up, get assignments done, pass my driving test and actually believe in myself in order to do that and just appreciate the friends I have.