It’s taken 4 weeks of my degree to decide that, just like music, I cannot study creative writing. I was so desperate to fall in love with my course and feel like I’m enhancing my abilities but I’m so disappointed. I love Kingston, I love the lecturers and they definitely have talent but I’m honestly bored. This week my task is to read all about Villanelles and Sestinas and then write one, yep I bet you’ve never heard of them either. I used to like poetry, reading it, writing it, studying it. I never in a million years thought I would miss it at A Level, but I do. We have to write a poem that has about 6 different rules in regards to structure, rhyme and god knows what else, this is one of my pet hates! I hate it when your restricted. To me poetry or writing in general is a form of expression! I’m not interested in this mathematical madness of line 3 relating to like 12 which must be another way of saying line 6 before repeating line 42.
I’m sighing as I read my assignments list because it just bores me to tears, well one side of it does anyway. I was chatting to some friends about it the other day and in regards to novel writing they think that I’m being too advanced for first year. I’ve started character bios, plot summaries, chapter summaries and writing every day a year ago. I thought that we were expect to come to uni like this but apparently a lot of people have never tried writing anything like this before. If I’m honest the whole thing makes me feel a little awkward. I’m not the best by any stretch of the imagination but at the same time I know what I want to write and where my strengths lie. I don’t fully regret taking Creative Writing, I think I just prefer studying English Literature at the moment. Second year should be a lot more fun and more of what I’m into, I’ve decided to Major in Literature because the modules (well the modules at the moment) just speak to me more and seem more interesting than the Creative Writing ones and the only one I got excited about is a core module anyway.
I don’t want to sound like I’m moaning and I’m hoping that I will enjoy the course more as the year goes on, it just isn’t want I expected it to be. I really just want to write something that matters to me, something that could matter to someone else, I just don’t think a huge poem is going to do the trick!