KU Talent Awards 2016

Tonight I attended my third KU Talent Awards! After being shortlisted for Rising Star in my first year, winning Overcoming Adversity to Achieve and being shortlisted for Second Year of the Year in my second year and now shortlisted for the Future Leader award, it’s been a great celebration throughout my undergrad. The nomination for this year’s award is for my work raising awareness and working with mental health, generally trying to make the world a better place. I’m home earlier than anticipated and I didn’t manage to collect an award this year, but I’m proud of myself.

You see, going tonight was about more than just trying to win an award to match the other, it was bigger. I’ve been anxious about it for the week, there are a lot of people at these events and there’s a lot of networking and on to of that I have to wear something ‘nice’. You guys know I’ve struggled a lot in the past year with my depression and anxiety and after my spine accident I lost a lot of confidence, so this years event was a big challenge. I did struggle tonight to sit, smile and engage in conversations when my brain was screaming RUUUUNNN AWWWWAAAAAAYYYYY, but I managed with my Mum by my side.

I’m not upset that I didn’t win, because I heard the story of the girl who did and she was an incredible person who really deserved the award for all of her hard work. Everyone has their time to shine, and mine was last year, which was truly one of the best nights of my life and I’m so lucky that my Mum got to share it with me. We don’t get to do as much just the two of us any more so I’m forever grateful when we get to hang out, because she really is my best friend.

I might not have won, but I got shortlisted and I fought my Anxiety and Depression once again and didn’t let it stop me, and that’s prize enough.

The KU Talent Awards and me!

I promised myself that I would try and get as involved as possible in university life. I didn’t join the liveliest societies so I set about working hard and trying to be positive. When I was online I found out about the KUTalent awards and that I could apply for one, the rising star award for first years. There are loads of different categories for students, staff and companies. I’m nominating myself, I know it sounds crazy and I haven’t been doing it for that very reason but after taking to some staff they said I might as well. The more I filled in my application the more I realised that I’ve truly settled into university now and how much I’ve achieved in such a short space of time. 

Now on day where I wobble it’s hard to remember this I fell alone, tired and emotional, on days like that the blog can help me realise that I’m gonna do ok. I don’t know if I’ll win the award but that’s not what counts really, my tutor read my application and agreed with what I’d written. She agreed so much she’s offered to write me a reference highlighting just how far I’ve come since turning up and heading to sainsbury’s in the pouring rain wondering how I’d do it all. I’m not the same girl as I was when I started, there are definite improvements.

I know how refelctive and possibly cheesy this sounds but I’m actually happy here. I have my lows, who doesn’t? It just feels wierd while I watch the confident people starting to miss home, I feel ok. I still miss them but it’s settled in my head I live here now. It’s because of that going back to Basingstoke in June is going to be the weirdest experience ever.  I’m determined to go back stronger, happier and try and make the most of the summer and who knows? I might even have an award in my suitcase.