Payday Haul! 

Hello, hello, hello lovely readers!

The end of our last Bank Holiday Weekend of the year is here! That might get you down but just think, the next Bank Holiday is *Boxing Day*, which means Christmas fun! Anyway, back to the matter at hand. This month marked the first month I got my ‘normal’ paycheck since I lost my job back in April. Since then I was temping and then started my new job in the middle of the month. So this payday I was able to treat myself a little bit while also paying the bills.

So, let’s crack on with this haul.

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First off, some beauty. I waxed my best friends eyebrows last week and told her she needed to get some good tweezers for strays. While we were shopping we found these cute ones for £2.00 from TK Maxx!! I’ve also finally run out of blusher so picked this up from Superdrug for £2.50 and got myself some wax strips for £6.95. I still have eyebrows so I’ll call that a win.

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I also managed to pick up the most 90s kid pyjamas in Primark. I used to watch all of these shows growing up. I constantly watched Nickelodeon and Boomerang as a kid and Rugrats was my favourite! They were £10 for the set, not bad.

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Harry Potter 9 3/4 PJs. I really controlled myself with the new Harry Potter range. These are a nice mix for Autumn while there are trousers they’re still quite lightweight. Also, look at all the amazing little illustrations on it too. Beyond cute. BEYOND CUTE. Also, £10 for the set.

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Ok, the last pair of Pyjamas I promise! I’ve been eyeing these for about 2 weeks, need to rep my house colours! Go, Go, Gryffindor! The best part is that these were only £6. £6!!!

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Finally moving away from PJs and on to stationary! Now, I don’t do a bit back to school/uni shop anymore I don’t buy that much stationary, that was until I found Typo. All three of these notebooks were on an offer which meant 3 for £6. I’ve also got more bits coming this week so I’ll do a Typo haul for that! These are so cool and I’m a total sucker for anything motivational!

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A band I absolutely love, PVRIS, were playing Reading and Leeds this weekend, on Friday Ali and I got to see a small acoustic set of theirs live and pick up their new album All We Know of Heaven, All We Need is Hell. It was so good and made me fall a little but more in love with Lynne.

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Book time! Of course, I was going to buy books. For some reason, I ordered an edition on Amazon that said this wasn’t out for another year?! That was until Abbie told me it was out as Melanie was on book tour! I’m so excited to read a book by one of my favourite people to watch. Catch Melanie’s channel here.

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And last but not least, I really want to increase the amount of poetry I have and read. I completely understand the classics are classics for a reason but I want to read poetry I can relate to! So I chose Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately by Alicia Cook.

 Now I have the rest of the month and I’m trying not to spend unnecessary money! I’m making healthier lunches for me to take to work, trying to cook more from scratch as well as taking cash out and using that when possible. I’ll let you know how I get on!

 

Getting Motivated

So, this month has been tough, very tough. I wrote a post last week about what’s been going on, why I’ve been quiet on social media (you can read that here) and I’ve had a lot of time to think. I’ve had my time to feel sad and upset about what happened but right now it’s time to get motivated.

I think it’s important to give yourself time to feel what you need to feel when things happen. That said my family and friends make sure that I don’t wallow, that I get on with my life and move on. It’s a new week and it’s time to get motivated.

I have plans for this week, even though I’m at home. I have a full list of plans, things to do and get on with. I’m going to sort out more work, get the house tidy, do some work outs and write like a mad thing! I am more than something that hs happened to me. Was I upset? Yes. Was I in shock? Yes. I doubted myself but I need to try and let that go.

It’s worth saying that the people around you can really help and I’m so grateful in particular to Ali, Abbie, Ben & Joe as well as my family for constantly being there for any help and tearful phone calls I’ve made, you’re all the best.

So this is my declaration to you all, I am not giving up, I have shit to do and the last few weeks won’t define me.

World, I’m coming to get you.

The Gym Return.

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On Monday night I sat down and set up a gym membership, my goal was to get back to my workout routine pre deadlines. I have to admit knowing that I’m going to have to fit it around work rather than having my chilled sessions with Alice made me think twice about signing up. That said after my routine slipped I noticed that I put back on a little bit of weight and I wasn’t feeling as good in myself. With the move as well my mental health has been more tricky to deal with so I needed to dose myself up with some gym love.

I’m writing this, and I know it will be short, curled up in blankets and trying not to fall asleep but I feel SO GOOD. My body aches but I’m just proud of myself for getting off my ass and going after work. It helped that I went with my sister too and got to work out and talk to her. The most important thing is that I’m doing this for myself. I want to get fitter and try to help the pain in my spine, I want to be able to help my depression by working out. Losing weight is a plus but it’s not the reason I’m going any more, feeling healthy is much more important than what anyone else thinks of me or my body.

 

Image from Pinterest.

Fighting Fit: When Your Body Won’t Cooperate

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It might have been well over a year since I broke my spine but sometimes it throws a bit of a fit. I’ve been really busy for the past few weeks and travelling to things, boxing up the flat and all that jazz, meaning that I’ve put quite a bit of strain on my back. This evening I’m sat with a big fluffy pillow resting, writing, reading and just feeling a bit frustrated. I’ve come a really long way in the past year but sometimes I try and do too much and pay for it later. I don’t think there’s anything more frustrating than when your own body lets you down.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the accident and my injury lately, more than I normally would. With the warm weather coming and my friends heading to fun days out, theme parks and long walks I can’t help but feel a little jealous. It does still get to me but more than anything I get really self concious about it in public. There are still times when I get a limp on my left side because after doing too much I’m in a lot of pain or my leg will start to go numb. When I go to Comic Con or any big event like that, I sometimes need my crutch just to relieve some of the pain. As someone who wants to be seen as strong, who is used to getting up and getting on (just like getting up straight after I fell) it’s hard to let people see me on the days when I am a little more vulnerable. This is particularly the case when I’m getting to know new people, such as at my new job.

That said, I know that these frustrations are just a part of recovery and of having to take things one step at a time. I found a lot of comfort in a TED Talk I watched yesterday (click here for 7 TED talks you need to watch!), it reminded me that while my body is still working hard and healing, it’s not the only thing I have going for me. My body being in pain and breaking took things from me, but it gave me opportunities too. It taught me a lot about myself and what I want, it taught me to appreciate every step I take because I could so easily have lost the ability to walk.

In all of this, the good days, the bad nights, the medication changes, the occasional limping and the jokes that I make to make others more comfortable I realised that I need to keep my mind fighting. I can’t let myself go into a place of wallow and self pity. I can’t let myself give in when I’m sick of physiotherapy or don’t feel like going to the gym or when the doctors try and palm me off with silly answers. Keeping my mind strong is what will, in the end, keep my body fighting, even on the worst days.

Sunday Seven – Seven Dr Seuss Quotes to Live By

Lately I’ve come across a lot of really awesome Dr Seuss quotes and they’ve just made me wonder at his mind. I’m going to start counting him as one of my heroes. I won’t lie I have been feeling pretty rough lately and having confidence doubt about myself, my work and all that jazz. SO for this weeks (slightly late) Sunday Seven I wanted to share some of my quotes to live by the wonderful Dr Seuss.

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I want to scream this from the roof tops! I wish this was repeated to teenagers constantly. I wish I could say I was someone who wasn’t bothered by what other people say, but I am. I need to look at this quote sometimes to remind me of the people that matter.

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Ah, what a perfect quote for a bookworm. Book are one of the best and wonderful things that can really change a persons life. BOOK FOR THE WIN!

 

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I feel like I should put this on gym clothes and just have it made into a huge canvas to put in my future office/writing room. Everyone has been at that point where they’ve thought, why should I carry on? Why bother. Hell I feel like this now while I’m in the final few weeks of my degree but the magic Dr Seuss has made me feel a hell of a lot better.

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I know that for a long time I was consumed by my past. I was so terrified and stuck in the past that I wasn’t making the most of my present and future. This is really important especially when I’m about to go into the unknown. I’m determined to not be stuck in the past, I want to embrace the future are really take in what’s around me.1cbe9bd21bcddfd88f275d828656e69e

This is SO important. It’s a quote I keep going back to when I’m feeling really down. I might be struggling, but there is only one me. There is only one me and no one else can do what I do or has what makes me, me. And that’s pretty cool.

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When you were a teenager, didn’t you just wish you were normal? Just beg and pray at night to fit in and not be a freak. When you’re a teenager, especially one that doesn’t quite fit in, normal seems like a perfect thing. The older I’ve gotten, and I know I’m still pretty odd to some people, I still don’t fit into one square. My quirks make me, me and it’s part of what makes my successes happen. I love this because most of the best and most successful people are ‘odd’ and god damn it I really want to be one of them now and never slip into normal. Screw normal.  06971f03ccc83abf85df467b07a8950a

This, this, this, this. Another quote that I keep going back to at the moment. The past year has been life changing and it’s going to happen again. Sometimes I get sad thinking that university is going to be over soon or the fact that I’ll probably never ride again, things like that. I think it’s natural, but like this quote says I need to try and appreciate them for all the good times. Because damn, the past three years really have been full of good times.

Sunday Seven: This Weeks Favourites

Hello and welcome back to Sunday Seven because I’m now well enough to sit and think of seven things without getting confused and stressed. Ah the wonders of the human body. For the majority of Sunday Seven’s in the future it’ll be a round of up my favourite things or things that have interested me this week, so here we go!

1. H&M’s Compact Foundation in Soft Sand 

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As you all know I’m not a beauty blogger, although my Twitter followers were very enthusiastic about the thought of me doing a what’s in my make up bag post. I got into make-up very late and foundation has always been something I worried about, then I found this beauty. It’s light, stays on and gives a good coverage, particularly covering up my bad skin where I’ve been ill and dehydrated. The best thing is that it also only costs £7.99, you can find it here.

2. Sunshine this week! 

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I finally got to see some sun this week, this was taken yesterday when it was pretty faint but today I actually got warm because it was sunny, hooray! Winter is nearly over! Winter is way too miserable when Christmas is over.

3. Celebrating the great people I go to uni with 

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You might have seen my instagram (@chloemetz_ if you want to follow each other) or my post about the KU Talent Awards this week. It may be my third time attending but I’m constantly amazed at the incredible people I go to uni with and that I’ve been considered one of them multiple times. If you want to read about what I got up to have a look over here.

4. Positive quotes at home

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I’m a sucker for positive quotes around my home. Or positive quotes in general, I mean I even have one tattooed on me. I already have a few postcards like this but when I saw these in my local Paperchase I had to buy them because they’re just little pick me ups for when I’m feeling down. There are loads of different ones in store but they also have some online.

5. The Wicked and The Divine Vol. 2.

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I’m a big comic book and graphic novel fan and so after reading the first in the series I was desperate for the second and now after finishing the second in one sitting I’m desperate to read the third. The series can be a little confusing at times but I love it and I’m seriously in love with the artwork too.

6. Creme Egg McFlurry

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According to my online research they are back THIS WEDNESDAY get excited. Creme eggs in general are my weakness at this point in the year, probably because they are only available for a certain period of time and mixing that with a McFlurry is heaven to me. So you’ll know where to find me Wednesday afternoon.

7. Playing shows with the boys. 

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For the first time in a long time I got to play a show with the boys. Not only did I have a great time performing, I also got commented on how much better I’m looking!

Motivation…where are you?

We all get to that point where everything kind of slows down, I guess I’ve reached that point on the blog. I promised you I’d be completely honest and I need to say that I was starting to get to a point where I was running out of ideas. What did I want to write about? What did you guys want to read? Is there a magical formulae so that I can interact with a load of people.

The problem with that is you then start comparing yourself to people. I LOVE Hannah Gale, I see her blog in all its beauty and wish I was doing that well, I look at Youtubers and see how well they’re doing, then I move on to musicians (don’t even GO there). You get into this totally self absorbed spiral of what you’re not and then, for me at least, an huge tidal wave of anxiety. The conversation kind of goes like this –

My brain: What are you doing? Why has it taken you three hours to even start a blog post? 

Me: I don’t know I’m just struggling with what to write about 

My brain: Look at all the other bloggers, vloggers, musicians they’re all doing something why aren’t you? Also while you’re at it finish that assignment, you know you’re not going to get 70%  but you still need to do it.

Me: Gee thanks brain, I knew that already

My brain: Well if you knew that why did you get up, go back to bed, go on be off with you. 

Me: You’re right, off to bed I go. 

It’s this horrible conversation I have with myself, even when deep down I know I’ve been doing really well. It’s this approval that seems to be needed with online work, we’re anxious by the amount of followers, likes, subscribers and job opportunities we get. We want book deals and big houses and, well, to be like the successful people we see.

It takes a minute though to realise that although we see these people as ‘real’ most of the time people only show the best of themselves. Do I share every dark thought I ever have when I’m on a low? No. Does Emma Blackberry film when she has a huge block of what to talk about? I doubt it. Do I think that Hannah Gale is perfect all of the time? No, she’s bloody honest that she struggles sometimes and that is why I love her blog. And for the likes of my sister and her friends who are obsessed with Zoella, I have no doubt that there is now a persona that she has created for her channel.

I suppose I’m just working out what I’m doing with the blog, I never started it with the hope to make money. I wrote because I enjoyed it and I thought I could share my experiences with other people, which I’m still doing. Other than that I’m hoping to start some book reviews on here, once a week just as something different and I kind of miss my old blog.

So with that I think I’m a little bit more motivated…I wonder if it’s enough for that essay…

If you would like to read Hannah Gale’s blog (which I would recommend) the link is here.

Working on it, thoughts, plans and blogging

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Yay for motivational slightly girly looking quotes! I thought a lot today about what I wanted my blog to be. I’m not a girly blogger or really interested in fashion, to be fair if I posted what I was wearing every day you would all get pretty bored I think…other than the awesome T-Shirts (oh Primark you are so good to me). I don’t know where exactly I fit in the blogging world after all this blog is a year and a half old now, so shouldn’t I know?

I had today off and realised I wrote nothing yesterday, then panicked a little. So I went to town bought some new notebooks and a few books…opps. I wanted to feel like I was doing something rather than looking at my laptop. So I started thinking am I writing what you guys want to read? Will I ever get a huge following? Am I interesting at all?!? Let’s face it, we all want to know that what we’re writing is actually being read. Then I stopped myself, I blog for me mainly and I’m starting to figure out what you guys like too. You all love lists apparently, which is fine with me because I’m a little obsessed with them.

So I decided I would write today, although I didn’t know what on. I wanted to write about Leelah Alcorn, something I am working on, but I need to find the right words which haven’t happened yet. I also told myself to stop freaking out because I missed one day. So I started googling things to make me think or just quotes I liked and I found this one, about doing things.

It’s kind of what I’m doing step by step, take last night for example. Last night was the first night I had spent completely alone since halls last year and I was ok. I was a little lonely going to sleep because I like cuddles but I was pretty good. I read for a long time, got some cleaning done, saw my friend Joe. So instead of thinking I can’t stay in this flat alone I changed it to a can, and I’m bloody ecstatic about it. As for the dreams into plans thing, I’m working on that I’m focused on my future, my band, my well being and a project I’m working on.

Basically I’m working on it.

Note: This image was found online and I do not own the rights.