I Stand With Paris.

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Last night people went out to do normal things, they went out for meals, went to a concert and I think that’s the worst thing about that. I’ve seen pictures of people my age coming out of the concert hall and that just hit me this is something I do monthly, these people were probably excited to see a band and never thought something like this would happen.

Paris is a city that I spent a good deal of my childhood holidays in, my Mum would take me there on a coach regularly, we’d go to Disneyland and then the next day go into the centre of Paris. I’ve seen the Eiffel tower, the streets and although I haven’t been in years the prospect of visiting excited me. I planned to take Ali at the end of this year, either this month or next but didn’t have the money to do it. I still can’t believe I watched last night as this unfolded in a place that brought me so much joy as a child.

The people of France are waking up this morning in shock and horror, not sure how to process what happened last night. I am grateful to hear from friends in the city that they are all safe, but I know others will have to cope with the loss of people they love. What I also know is that the people of Paris are strong, they will help each other get through this. They will stand up to these spineless terrorists, they will not let anyone beat them.

We all need to remember that we  cannot blame a religion for this, it is not the fault of religion. It is the fault of some disgusting and twisted minds who wanted an excuse, this is the fault of terrorism. I will not stand for my friends in the religion of Islam hated and being attacked for something they didn’t do and stand against, like the rest of us.

I stand with Paris and my heart goes out to you, the city of lights will not stay dark ❤

Last night!/We love KU!

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Last night was supposed to be some chilled out bowling, a drink or two and making some new friends. It turned out to be so, so much more than that and one of the best nights I’ve ever had at uni, although it could quite well have ended very differently.

I’d gone almost straight from work to meet the girls outside the bowling ally…apart from I didn’t know who I was meeting except from Daniela. Time passed and soon it was half past with no sight of anyone I recognised. Anxious didn’t even cover how I was feeling, I was trying not to cry and all sorts of horrible situations ran through my mind, maybe they didn’t want to hang out with me after all? I’d been surprised in the first place that anyone, girls, wanted to hang out with me. You can imagine how crushed I was when I thought no one was coming. Just as I had decided to go home and try not to be too upset then my phone lit up, Dani was apologising and saying to head to Spoons and I’ll see the girls.

From that point on the night was full of laughter, happiness and a night I wont forget. I went to two pubs and then I finally made it to Pryzm night club!!! The biggest surprise? I absolutely loved it! I drank a lot I danced, laughed, made friends and got home safe. I couldn’t be happier that someone has given me a chance to be one of the girls.

Fast forward to 6am, I had hardly slept, a few hours at most and I headed into work feeling a little off but otherwise good. I was at work for 7.45 and got straight into it. I love meeting people, talking to them and making sure they get all the info. I was able to work with people who remided me of me as well as a few disabled students. I got home exhausted but happy and started to pack. Overall the past week has been exhausting and amazing, I’m so damn excited for second year!

Teacher Training

Tonight was my first teacher training session. I was pretty nervous when I turned up, I had no idea what to expect and I wasn’t sure I would know anyone who got through. My nerve calmed down a fair bit after a surprise visit from Ali, not because of any romantic gesture just to borrow my tape measure but either way it was nice to see him. I got there about 20 minutes early (talk about over eager) but thankfully I wasn’t the only one I started chatting to some of the other girls and found out I wasn’t the only first year on the scheme. As Kingston is so good to us we were all offered a hot drink and biscuits.

The session was 3 hours long but it was interesting. Within the first 15 minutes our confidence was already being build up by the team we were working with and started making jokes where we could. I was pleasantly surprised to recognise some people I already knew as well as some people I had been interviewed with. The evening overall was fun and I was pleased that we learnt about so many different factors in educating children and I learnt new things.

Throughout the session though I was fighting with myself. For this scheme I’ll be teaching in a secondary school, somewhere I vowed not to go back to. I had more than a pretty rough time at school and tonight I felt some powerful emotions, even if I didn’t let it school. After going over policies and responsibilities schools have towards students I was slightly shocked to realise just how wrong my school were. The lack of support I had throughout my education I assumed had been normal but now I see that it’s not. The senior staff had a duty of care and they obviously didn’t fulfil what they should have. As I sunk into a deeper state they all looked the other way, done the bare minimum and left me to it. There were a handful of members of staff who cared enough to get  me through, I still try and visit the LSU (learning support unit) sometimes to let them know how I’m doing and say thanks, they cared and they didn’t have to. If I see some of my old teachers in town I’ll say hello and just let them know they made a difference. As for the others? I’d love to prove them wrong, I’ll got back with my degree and just say ‘see I wasn’t as useless as you made me out to be!’.

I guess what I’m getting at is that tonight made me realise I was failed and I want to make a change. I might not end up becing a secondary school teacher but I want to do something to change the lives of young people. I don’t know how yet, teaching?, writing?, performing? I have no idea yet but I think this is going to be good for me, maybe in those 15 days I’ll make some kind of difference.