Change is what I needed.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that last month I lost my job and it was horrible. I felt completely devastated and my confidence took a big hit. I won’t go into specifics but I didn’t know it was going to happen, so I had absolutely no backup plan. At the time I remember Ali saying to me that this could be the best thing that ever happened to me, I scoffed at him. How could that be? At the time I panicking over how I was going to make rent and what the hell I was going to do next.

The thing is, and don’t tell him, but he was right. I’ll be honest and say that I was in a job that didn’t make me happy but I stuck at it and tried to make the best of the situation. While it sucked that I got let go, and at the time it seemed like the world was collapsing, it gave me time to think.

While I was looking I was offered a 3-month contract with a local company, good pay and a new experience. I was nervous but took it and it’s completely changed my outlook on my life and myself. After a month of being there, I feel a lot better. I’m not leaving the house at 7.15am and getting stuck in traffic for an age on the way home. I’m not stressed about everything and I have other people around me who have experience in marketing to help and teach me.

While I know I’m on a contract it could go many ways, I’ve already decided to keep an eye on the company notice board so that I can stay in a place where I’m happy. I never thought that losing my job could be a good thing and it wasn’t at the time but getting to the point that I am now? It was worth it.

Of course, I don’t have it worked out. I still have days where I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing and worry about the future, who doesn’t? But it made me realise that I get to work with a smile on my face and leave with one too, I can have a job where I don’t come home and feel stressed until I go to bed. There will be challenges ahead, I know that but right now I have a good feeling and a positive outlook and that’s really what I needed.

Getting Motivated

So, this month has been tough, very tough. I wrote a post last week about what’s been going on, why I’ve been quiet on social media (you can read that here) and I’ve had a lot of time to think. I’ve had my time to feel sad and upset about what happened but right now it’s time to get motivated.

I think it’s important to give yourself time to feel what you need to feel when things happen. That said my family and friends make sure that I don’t wallow, that I get on with my life and move on. It’s a new week and it’s time to get motivated.

I have plans for this week, even though I’m at home. I have a full list of plans, things to do and get on with. I’m going to sort out more work, get the house tidy, do some work outs and write like a mad thing! I am more than something that hs happened to me. Was I upset? Yes. Was I in shock? Yes. I doubted myself but I need to try and let that go.

It’s worth saying that the people around you can really help and I’m so grateful in particular to Ali, Abbie, Ben & Joe as well as my family for constantly being there for any help and tearful phone calls I’ve made, you’re all the best.

So this is my declaration to you all, I am not giving up, I have shit to do and the last few weeks won’t define me.

World, I’m coming to get you.

Dealing with the unexpected

Sometimes life likes to surprise us, and not in the best way.

This time last week I was confused, distraught and wondering what the hell I was going to do. Last week I was told that I was no longer employed, that my contract was not going to be extended. This came completely out of the blue, for all I knew I was ready for my renewal meeting and things were going well. I left in a complete state of shock, how I drove home I’m not quite sure.

Like anyone who’s been in this situation before you go through everything in your head. I questioned everything I’d said or done, had I missed some warning signs? It was so out of the blue. After a few phone calls to Ali, my family and a few close friends I knew what I needed to do, I needed to find a new job. I was on the phone within an hour to contacts and agencies. By Thursday morning I was sat in a recruitment agency.

It’s been a week of emotional ups and downs, particularly as we lost Hamski a few days later. That’s the thing about life though, it doesn’t always play nicely or play fair. Within a few days, I’d spoken to a lot of people got some leads and felt better about myself. I realised that these things do happen and that it wasn’t because I was awful or terrible, I was unlucky this time.

In a week things have gone from feeling incredibly hopeless to being positive again. I realised that it might not be the worse thing. Now I can look for work closer to home so I don’t spend almost an hour commuting each way, because the drive was exhausting. I can meet new people and further my career, I need to fight to stay positive and see the good in this change. Speaking of which, I’m proud to introduce Wickett (named after the Ewok):

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So, let’s see what the rest of the month has to offer…