Tag: happy

The KU Talent Awards and me!

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I promised myself that I would try and get as involved as possible in university life. I didn’t join the liveliest societies so I set about working hard and trying to be positive. When I was online I found out about the KUTalent awards and that I could apply for one, the rising star award for first years. There are loads of different categories for students, staff and companies. I’m nominating myself, I know it sounds crazy and I haven’t been doing it for that very reason but after taking to some staff they said I might as well. The more I filled in my application the more I realised that I’ve truly settled into university now and how much I’ve achieved in such a short space of time. 

Now on day where I wobble it’s hard to remember this I fell alone, tired and emotional, on days like that the blog can help me realise that I’m gonna do ok. I don’t know if I’ll win the award but that’s not what counts really, my tutor read my application and agreed with what I’d written. She agreed so much she’s offered to write me a reference highlighting just how far I’ve come since turning up and heading to sainsbury’s in the pouring rain wondering how I’d do it all. I’m not the same girl as I was when I started, there are definite improvements.

I know how refelctive and possibly cheesy this sounds but I’m actually happy here. I have my lows, who doesn’t? It just feels wierd while I watch the confident people starting to miss home, I feel ok. I still miss them but it’s settled in my head I live here now. It’s because of that going back to Basingstoke in June is going to be the weirdest experience ever.  I’m determined to go back stronger, happier and try and make the most of the summer and who knows? I might even have an award in my suitcase. 

My first First!

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While a lot of people are taking their exams this month and still revising I have had an entirely different problem on my hands, trying to forget that I’m getting results back this month (and apparently next month too). For the Creative Writing and English Literature students out work was handed in mostly before Christmas and now we’re waiting to see if we passed. I checked my email this morning to find one from my seminar leader, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I have gotten 71%, a first!! If I’m honest with you I sat and had a little laugh to myself, it’s not secret that I don’t enjoy Creative Writing nearly as much as I do English. Needless to say I was in a pretty good mood today, even though it has brought on a few worries about how my English Literature assignment will come back! I celebrated tonight with some pizza with a few Creative Writing friends, Jess, Bekkie, Ollie and Rhys we even got a free book in our lecture this evening! So all in all it was a pretty good day.

 

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My beautiful photography skills everyone! 

 

So there you have it, first year may not ‘count’ but getting a first in something (even if it’s  something your not keen on) is an amazing feeling, maybe getting one in first year makes it even better! I worked really that assignment and it seems to have paid off. It’s not because I didn’t go out, I did just not in the traditional way. I’m hoping I can keep this up, although I’m not 100% sure my other assignments will come back this good. The fact that it was something I didn’t enjoy makes it better, I feel like I’m definitely a writer if I can write like that when I’m a tad miserable! So I’m going goff to bed now smiling and with my fingers crossed that it all continues.

Waking up with a smile

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This morning I woke up with a smile. I finally woke up happy and looking forward to the day ahead. Last night I had a lovely evening of what I can only describe as grown-up couply things such as an exciting trip to Asda followed by Ali cooking me a lovely meal of Steak and Potatoes. As you can imagine after a night like that I was an incredibly happy girl, the day got better after a successful driving lesson. Today’s post is only short but I hope you enjoy it anyway! 🙂 

Feeling like me again.

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Bekks and I in the studio in one of my hyperactive moments while Ali was hard at work.

Today was a day where I finally went ‘back to work’. Ok so it isn’t a paid job and I don’t have to do it but still. I finally went back into the studio to start recording No People Clubs EP!!! It was long, tiring and meant that I had to deal with a lot of emotions but I feel so much better after doing it. Although today didn’t quite start out like that, uni was a bit of a night and so was the afternoon of ‘freedom’. I haven’t been sleeping much so a 9am start wasn’t top of my list of things to do today especially when it is pissing down with rain. Today has also been a very up and down experience in terms of my moods (as have the last few days. I love uni and then I hate it and my mind is arguing with itself every five minutes about something and it gets a little bit exhausting. I think that if I hadn’t have recorded today I wouldn’t have been able to release anything, I needed something else to concentrate on that just wasn’t to do with uni stuff. It definitely worked because for the first time in over a month I was able to write a review again, my confidence just appeared and although its 1am I feel ALIVE. I feel ready to write and perform music again, I feel ready to let go of the hurt that was still inside me from home and I feel ready to write properly and just hold out on the academics until second year (when I actually get to CHOOSE what I want to study).

 

There was one other little thing that may have helped today and that’s a few phone calls one from my amazing Grampey who never ever fails to make me feel better. What did he do you may ask? He simply asked me about my day and told me about his, it’s little things like that I love and miss the most and the thought of going home for a few days at the end of the month makes me so damn excited! The other phone call was from my Mum as part of our daily phone calling it always makes me feel better and she managed to calm me down after a run in with a nightmare hairdresser (thankfully all my hair is okay but I will NEVER be going back to that place again!). You’ll already have guessed Ali and Bekkie played a major part in today too. 

So really everyone I just wanted to write this to let you know that I’m doing ok! Well I will be anyway, days like this give me hope. 

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Ali hard at work

Tonight Alive!

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No zoom this is how close we were 

It’s not every night you get to stand right in front of one of your favourite bands, touch their tour bus and keep one of their drumsticks. It’s not every night you get to see an intimate gig with Tonight Alive. After storming the stage in Camden the night before an The Peel in Kingston seemed to be just perfect for the Aussie pop punk band whose album The Other Side is taking the world by storm (Ok so that’s me trying to be a journalist).

The best thing about this gig? It had to be Jenna’s fuck you attitude. When you listen to their older EPs and albums I think it would be fair to say you imagine Jenna to be sweetness and light let me set you straight she has fight in her. She definately kicks arse but not in a way that alienates her from the rest of the band. They are a group, although most people would recognise Jenna first she doesn’t play on this. I liked that she was totally a part of the band, too many singers just think it’s all about them and use the stage like that.

To put it simply I loved this gig. I may have been exhausted and in a lot of pain from my kidneys but it was worth it. Hey I even got to sing into Jenna’s mic and get her spit on my head, multiple looks from the guitarists and a drum stick. It’s things like this that remind me why I love music and how I feel at gigs. I might not have known all the words to the songs but the ones I did made me go completely crazy!

It was a great night back in Kingston followed by Pizza and a lovely evening of Ali look after me (well this is after making me lunch and making sure I was actually well enough to go).

Hello September!

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Today is September the first, the beginning of a very important month. This month feels like a little bit of a count down with so many things going on! 

 

  • 1 Day until I get my boyfriend home!
  • 6 Days until I say goodbye to a lot of Basingstoke People 
  • 11 Days until I move to my halls 
  • 12 Days until I am fully enrolled 
  • 15 Days until freshers starts
  • 17 Days until my 19th Birthday
  • 18 Days until I see my family after moving 
  • 19 Days until freshers ball
  • 20 Days until Jess’ birthday in London! 
  • 22 Days until lectures start 
  • 26 Days until Paramore 

As you can see I have so much going on at times it gets a bit overwhelming. As with any fresher I imagine we all have feeling of how on earth will I do this? Sometimes (especially at night) I do get quite stressed and wonder how I’ll cope with university life.  Despite any fears I have about university they are usually discarded when I think about all the exciting things that will be happening too! Some of them are quite small things such as meeting a few friends I’ve made to go food shopping on my first evening, finding a nice pub to have a few ciders, finding my way around. Most people think that freshers is just alcohol the whole way through and I sure for a lot of people there is a lot of booze involved and club nights (the amount I’ve been invited to already is crazy!) but well that isn’t my scene. 

It’s odd but this is the first time in many years I haven’t completely dreaded September. For me the song Wake me up when September ends couldn’t have been more true. I’d spend so much time stressing and crying and saying I’m not going back. At my worst I was about to go into year 11, there were two sides of me one full of dread and one with some silly form of optimism. At this point I was at one of my lowest points at the beginning of that year unfortunately, all my friends had left and I’d already told my teachers in the previous year I wasn’t planning on coming back (thankfully they ignored me). Ali walked me to school that morning, I’m not sure if it was to make sure I went or just to give me the support I needed. Either way it worked, I walked through the gates and watched him leave before I met with a support assistant in the morning. I don’t remember what happened after that really but it was horrible how hysterical I was before and after.  It is honestly such a breath of fresh air to just be happy and excited about September and starting Univeristy that I can’t wipe this smile off of my face.

 

So what I’m really trying to say is

Hello September 

I’ve been waiting for you