Tag: Education

I don’t know what I’m doing

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I took myself off the blog for the last few days for a combination of things, I’ve been busy, my backs been keeping up at night and I’ve been freaking out more than a little bit. So I spent my time with family, at work, sleeping and occasionally having an almost panic attack.

I had a conversation with my Mum last night and just ended up saying ‘you know what I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, I have no idea what to do when I graduate, I just really don’t know’. Honestly that is how I feel right now but my Mum, being the babe she is just said to me ‘You know what Chlo, no one knows what they’re doing, just do what you want to do’ and there it was. It’s something so simple but something that we all forget.

I don’t think that anyone’s job choices will make everyone happy. Some people will make choices based on what other people want and then make themselves happy and to be honest no one really gives a shit. You get a job, you make people proud, blah blah blah, but no one else has to go to the job every day, has to work with the people in it and to you know earn a living and possibly do it until they die.

Does any of this mean that I understand what to do with my life? Of course not I still get stressed out all the bloody time. Will I get a good class degree? Do I go and do a grad scheme I like the look of? Do I go all in and just do my PhD and worry about money later? Do I just go and get a job straight away? Part of me just wants to go please someone give me a crystal bloody ball so I know what should happen!

I don’t think I’m alone in this. I’m guessing that there are a lot of people who just freak out sometimes and don’t know what’s going on or what they should do or if they’re even doing the right thing right now. I don’t think it’s specific this fear and uncertainty can impact anyone regardless of race, gender, sexuality, class etc. Who knows maybe everyone else is just pretending very well.

We need to value female education

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We must value education. I more than most hated school as a teenager, it was dull repetitive and a source of daily hell for me. There is a lot of work that needs to be done in the British school system but at least we have it. Each child can go to school and get the opportunity to learn. I may have had to teach myself a lot while I was at home struggling with mental illness but I could still take the exams for free.

I watched the above Ted talk last week and it struck me how lucky I am as a woman to be in education and attempting to go into the world of education as a career. I think that this is one of the few accounts that don’t demonise all men, it educates us that some places in the world still need help with gender equality. It shows us that things are changing and compromise is the way forward, finding a way to educate and reason with age old traditions and hopefully end FGM along the way.

I find that now in my darkest times my love for academia can help me so much, it gives me something else to focus on and something that is so much bigger than me. My other love of course is music but my hope is that if we work on all young women receiving an education they can be exposed to the arts and find their own passions and loves. I hope that in 50 years we can go a long way in making education equal for girls and women no matter where they are in the world.

Education is a gift like no other

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I don’t always know what to write about. This evening was like that, a blank screen in front of me and searching for some kind of inspiration. People have asked me today how I can blog every day, how I stay motivated. I don’t really know, I suppose it’s just something I’m really proud of and it’s fun for me. I’d love to make a career out of this, but it’s not the sole reason I write it.

I spent today at work with a bunch of great students. They’re only two to three years younger than me but we’re kind of mentoring them as they apply for university and help answer any of their questions. I sat in on two taster sessions today, one for Media and another for Criminology, two subjects I’d never encountered before. I watched the lecturers and heard their passion for the subject and it inspired me. I’ve been getting more and more passionate about becoming a lecturer lately. People give me a list of reason not to do it; it’s too expensive, you haven’t lived yet, can you earn enough from it, what do you have to teach. There’s this fierce passion in me and from simply watching the impact the lecturers had on young people it reminded me why I want to study until I’m 25.

There is nothing in my decision about being scared about going into the ‘real world’. I want the challenge, the stimulation, the creativity that being an academic in Literature brings. I can still do other things, I can write books, still do social media. It’s not something I see as preventing me from doing anything, instead I see it as opening more doors than ever. It’s true what they say, education is the best gift of all, no one can take it away from you.

I wanted to write this to remind myself when I’m having a tough time with my dissertation this year or when I feel like giving up later on. I want to remember this excitement and happiness at the thought of studying and exploring literature. I’m a geek and I’m proud.

Image from http://www.girlsgonesporty.com/articles/fitness/using-we-heart-it-to-maximize-fitness-inspiration/

Mental Health awareness week!

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Hello everyone!

This week is Mental Health Awareness week, although I haven’t been really on it this week (I’m sure you’ll all forgive me). So I’ve been thinking all day about what I wanted to write about this year, I’m still not sure. I’m sure that it’s not you guys that need educating, I know I have a lot of loyal followers who understand what’s going on. SO on that note I want to ask all of you to reach out to the people around you can just talk about mental health, it doesn’t have to be about anything personal just bring it into a conversation. The more we talk about mental health the better our lives are going to be!

If you’re in the UK you’ll be aware that mental health has seen some drastic budget cuts and that could get a lot worse. So it’s important that now we speak up, stand together and be there for one another, because this is when we’ll need it most. Sometimes when you’re at your lowest it’s not a doctor you need, it’s just people around you that respect how you feel and try to understand. I won’t stop campaigning and spreading the message so the government understand how vital mental health is in our society and so that we all get support. In myself I have been struggling lately, the spine things put major stress on me and I get quite isolated. I’m lucky though because I have this outlet and many people don’t have that.

So all I ask of you is to spread the word, talk to people about mental health and little by little we’re going to get rid of stigma and make sure everyone who is in need of it gets help!

My Big Mouth: Stigma needs to stop!

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You can’t fail to have noticed the coverage over the last few days about the terrible end to the Germanwings flight, with reports stating that the co pilot deliberately crashed the plane to attempt suicide. This is a terrible tragedy with so many lives lost, however, that is not what has chilled me the most.

The pilot, it is reported, had mental health issues. I am not in any way justifying what he did by killing all those people who did not want or deserve to die, but if he was this depressed who knows what was going through his head. With this in mind I need to stress that the British media in particular are handling this information in a disgusting and shocking way. With papers calling him a ‘mad man’ and asking questions such as ‘why was he allowed to fly?’ many mental health sufferers will have felt a familiar sense of dread.

It’s easy, when people are angry, to have knee jerk reactions but when almost all of the press are taking the same angle it is terrifying. I know that in this country in the next few weeks anyone who declares a mental health problem is going to be scrutinised more now, due to the way in which this has been handled by the media. It’s a terrible case and I don’t think we’ll ever know why he did what he did. Like everyone else I am shocked and angry that he took all of those other people with him, including children.

I do have something to say though. I have mental health issues, I write about them each and every day. Events like this fill me with fear because of how other people judge people with mental health problems. While most people understand that we are just like anybody else, others can’t seem to grasp the concept that we are just like everybody else!!!! I’ve had depression for more than a quarter of my life now and guess what? I don’t want to hurt anyone, I don’t want to be violent towards anyone and if I ever feel angry or anything like that I am the one I direct it to. Yes I might snap at people if I’m angry but this idea that people with mental health issues (that’s around 1 in 4 of us by the way) want to attack and hurt others is wrong and so, so rare. We are not going to get anywhere as a society until we start trying to stamp out this stigma! With the press saying ‘mad man’ and such we’re moving backwards.

I have to say though, the amount of people who have come forward to say that they are depressed and still working, still strong has been incredible to see. The BBC I can do nothing but applaud for their coverage of the crash, and now investigation. We cannot let one individual shape a quarter of our society! I for one won’t let that happen. So many incredible people I know have or have had a mental health issue, but they’re getting there. It might take a little longer or a different route but the world wouldn’t be what it is today if everyone with an issue was locked away and forbidden to work.

People are only going to be scared of mental health while they live in ignorance, education really is the key here.

How to explain ‘Head Sick’ – Mental Health

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Me age 16 trying to be ‘normal’ and ‘fun’ on a bad low

Calling in sick to work is not a great experience for anyone, especially when it’s for something mental health related, because it relies on people having knowledge as well as people not judging you. You can’t phone your boss and say ‘I feel really sad, I can’t come into work’. A lot of people think that bad depression means you just lie in bed all day and that’s that. For most of us, that isn’t true because we can’t let it, we have bills to pay and things to do and even if you don’t care about those things you go on in cycles but don’t feel anything towards what you’re doing and then the says you do have off/ evening when you can crawling into bed and staying there becomes all you want to do…sometimes.

I’ve been mentally ill for about 5 years now and the picture above is me at one of my worst points. Being 16 was a terrifying year and there is so much I just don’t remember, my mind just goes blank. The picture above was be trying to be happy, fun and normal. I hadnt been diagnosed and every just said it was my hormones but I felt crazy, when I did manage to go into school I’d normally leave early or just sit in my lessons and slowly going numb, not taking anything in. It was torture.

In a way it’s good that I can’t do that anymore, I need to work to have money, I need to go in to get my degree which I care a great deal about and differing from first year I live with someone who knows when I’m unwell and helps me any way he can. Days when I am low and not functioning are what I call ‘Head Sick Days’ and I’m thankful that my tutors and my friends know when I really need some time as well as encouraging me. I hope though, one day, that everyone can have this kind of understanding and help that they really deserve because depression, anxiety, bipolar etc are all illnesses and we need to support those who need it.

I’ve been pretty rocky for the past month, a lot of lows and needing a bit more support than normal from those around me, but I don’t feel hopeless. 2015 is looking to be fun and busy, especially for the band and my work. So right now my posts might not be exciting but I’m taking it day by day a step at a time, with ‘Head Sick’ time included.

Malala Yousafzai: An inspiration to all

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Most teenagers would spend their 16th birthday with friends, family and being spoilt with presents, or trying to have a house party without damaging too much of the house. Malala Yousafazi, however, spend her 16th birthday in front of a UN conference giving a speech on the importance of education. The difference between Malala and the majority of girl in the UK is that at the tender age of 16 she is a campaigner for the right to education and has survived an assassination attempt by the Taliban. 

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From an early age Malala has been fighting for the right to gain an education simply because she is a girl. Under threat from the Taliban, Malala and her family would not let them win as she claimed yesterday extremist groups are ‘scared of books and pens’. It is this attitude that we should adopt,after all knowledge is power. At the age of 12 Malala began writing a blog for the BBC ( although obviously not using her own name) about how it was to live under the rule of the Taliban. As well as this she still fought to go to school, along with her female friends as well as filming a documentary for the New York Times about her life and struggle. This in itself is extraordinary and I salute her parents, many would be too scared and no encourage her but according the reports she has the full support of her family. Unfortunately the Taliban carried out their threat and attempted to assassinate Malala, boarding her school bus and asking for her. Malala did not hide away and identified herself proceeding to be shot in the head along with her school friends (proving their cowardice). Malala was flown to the UK for emergency treatment and is now living in Birmingham and still working hard to provide education for all children around the world and give equal opportunities to all women.  

Yesterday Malala took to the worlds stage again at a UN conference and I actually got goosebumps watching her speech. You would not guess that she is only 16 years old her bravery and total commitment is something that many adults do not have. It made me appreciate my education more than anything and just marvel at her. I researched more about her and found out that she is the youngest contender for the Nobel Peace Prize in history and has already won awards in Pakistan for her contributions. I could not find a single person who did not watch the speech and agree that she is incredible, watch it here. 

It also strikes me that in the western world we still hear cries of ‘feminism’ and how we need to fight harder for equality. In certain situations this is right but in the UK today even an idiot could see that we are better off than many of our sisters around the world. In the UK the majority of us are free to make our own choices, we can receive a free education, decide what to do with our own bodies and have wide access to contraception. It is my belief that with the help of girls like Malala we can make the world a better place for women. It has shocking that we are still seeing a lack of education for girls, reports that female babies are being aborted or given up for adoption quickly after birth simply for being the wrong sex. It is incredibly sad that women are still begin treated as objects and are not free to marry who they choose. This is NOT because women are not strong, it is simply through following ancient traditions and not entering the 21st century. It is when I think of this that I get angry at girls in this country who do nothing with their lives. I can tell you now there would be thousands of girls willing to trade for your position and pro creating because you were bored or drunk does not count as ‘doing something’. I am incredibly proud of my country for allowing Malala to live here and gain the education she deserves because to me she is a true hero. 

 

Report by Chloe Metzger