November Favourites

November has been and gone and while I am fully extra and in Christmas mode right now, let’s throw it back to what I got up to. November was a crazy busy month and I’m really excited to share it with you all!

Books

I got a good bit of reading in this month, despite the fact that it’s been super busy! My favourites start off with Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately by Alicia Cook, a collection of poetry that I really connected with – I’ve loved both of her collections and I can’t wait to read more. Up next a true favourite and one for all Feminists – New Erotica For Feminists, this made me laugh so hard and I wrote a review ahead of its release here. And my final two reads were ARCs and I can’t wait to share my full reviews with you in 2019! Pilu of the Woods and The Year I Didn’t Eat were both brilliant reads for different reasons. Keep your eyes peeled.

 

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Films 

From the moment I found out about it I knew I wanted to see Bohemian Rhapsody. I love Queen and think Freddie was one of the greatest showmen on earth. This film was incredible and I was surprisingly emotional watching it. If you haven’t seen it yet make sure you do, you won’t regret it.

Ali’s 25th Birthday 

Not only did I get the boy back from tour at the end of October (yay) it was also his 25th birthday. We spent the day in London as he was working BUT went out with friends the following weekend. Can we take a second to appreciate my hair actually going well to go out, I was so proud of it.

Six The Musical 

Your next favourite musical is here. The six wives of Henry VIII take back the spotlight to tell their stories. I went with my friend Lucy and it was absolutely incredible, I’ve had the soundtrack on repeat. They’re going to go back to London soon and you can read my post all about it here.

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Spice Girls Tickets! 

Yes, I did it. It kicked me out multiple times but I am going to see The Spice Girls in June 2019. I don’t even know how to put my excitement into a paragraph. I’M GOING TO SEE THE SPICE GIRLS (again).

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Muggle Mastermind 

How do you spend your Thursday nights? I meet up with some of my closest friends and go to a Harry Potter quiz. Oh my lord, this was so much fun. There were decorations, super hard questions and prizes. We might not have one but I can’t WAIT for the next one. All the info on the quizzes is here for you.

 

Tonight Alive 10th Anniversary Show 

Ali and I have been fans of Tonight Alive since we were teenagers, so we got tickets to see them at Bush Hall, London for a special acoustic show to celebrate 10 years. It was incredible and like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Beautiful.

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The UK Blog Awards!

I’m in the running for a UK Blog Award! You can read all about it and even vote if you want to by clicking here.

Thank U, Next 

If you haven’t been dancing along to this absolute TUNE what are you doing? So I’ve listened to the song constantly and then on the last day of November the Queen Ariana Grande dropped the video. This is a pre-teen dream with most of the dreams I loved watching in one place with my favourite song of the year.

 

What were your favourites in November? Let me know in the comments below!

 

 

 

Blogmas Day 12: First Christmas in Our Own Home!

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2017 is a special Christmas for me, it’s the first time Ali and I have had our own place for the holidays! While we’ve lived together since the second year of uni we’ve never been somewhere, just the two of us, for the festivities. So we have a tree (at my insistence), we’ve been finalising what our plans are for the day itself and I’ve been generally annoying him with my Elfish tendencies.

We’re very different when it comes to our attitudes towards Christmas Ali’s not really a big Christmas person whereas I have had Christmas songs on in my car since *cough* October *cough*. I couldn’t wait to get us a tree and lights and wrap presents and get the candles on and EVERYTHING CHRISTMAS. Over time, I’m hoping that I can get him to be a little more Elf and a little less Grinch, slowly.

I’m so excited!

Relationships: Being an individual in a couple

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I have been part of a ‘we’ for almost a decade, for new readers, yes, I did meet my boyfriend at the age of 13. We’ve grown up together and have come to be ‘the couple’ in most situations. We’re often addressed as  ‘Chloe and Ali’ or ‘Ali and Chloe’, even at uni when we tried to lead lives that were separate we were ‘the couple’.

So, how do you be an individual and not become completely co-dependent? Sometimes, it’s difficult. Over time you’re often seen as a two and this isn’t a bad thing, it can feel quite nice, but, being your own person is important too.

Personally, I’ve found that once you’re out of education it’s a lot easier. And I mean a lot. Even when Ali and I studied at different campuses it was a community and if you didn’t know one of us, you normally knew the other.

As you all know though, these are two people with their own ideas, experiences and interests. So, what can you do?

Try to have at least one friend who isn’t a mutual friend 

We grew up together so we had a lot of the same friends but we’ve also found it important to have some friends we don’t share. I have a few girlfriends that are my friends, while Ali has friends from working and tours. It’s healthy to have your own relationships!

Invest time in your own interests and hobbies 

There are things that Ali and I do that the other isn’t interested in. I read books for days and collect Harry Potter & Funko pops. Ali goes Airsofting and loves looking at recording methods and how albums are put together. While we try to take an interest in what the other is doing, it’s really important to have your own things you enjoy!

Do things alone 

I recently spent two months living alone while Ali went on tour , which meant for the first time in years it was just me. That wasn’t a bad thing because I got used to my own company. It wasn’t always nice, but I definitely think it made me more confident.

Embrace your differences 

If two people who were exactly the same were in a relationship it would be boring as hell. I’m quite loud but also bookish, Ali’s quiet and would rather do things to learn. We’re different people, we were bought up in different ways and had different experiences but you know what? That’s what keeps it interesting.

Know you’re not going to agree on everything

We disagree on a lot of things, a lot. And this stems from the about point above. Personally, I don’t want to agree on absolutely everything. I want to be able to have discussion and debate with the person I love!

How do you stay an individual in a couple? Let me know in the comments below!

Long Distance Love.

It’s been a week and a half since Ali packed up and headed off on a tour bus for two months. This is our first experience at long distance, it’s never been something that we actually had to do and while we were expecting it to happen eventually this came around a lot quicker than we initially anticipated.

So, what’s it been like so far? I think it helps that Ali’s been working a lot of lates and has been away over the summer. That said, it’s definitely not easy. We don’t get that long to talk on the phone which is tough, thankfully we can text and on his day off we can Facetime. We’ve been side by side since we were kids and I think the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other is a few weeks, it’s odd.

There’s definite loneliness and I think the thing I miss most is having everyday access to hugs. Which wasn’t something I thought I would be bothered about, but there we are! This is definitely a learning curve and every day I am so proud of the great job he’s doing, but at the same time I’m definitely looking forward to having cuddles when I next see him.

My Boyfriend’s Leaving Me For Two Months?!

You may or may not know that my lovely boyfriend Ali is a Sound Engineer. Last year he graduated with a first in Creative Music Technologies and he’s been working various sound jobs ever since. Over the summer he’s been off all over the country doing live sound from our local Basingstoke Live, to Brighton Pride. Things have been going well, but we thought it would be a little while before he headed off on tour. Not so much.

On Sunday I’ll be waving him off on a tour months as he prepares to tour the UK as an engineer. Living his dream. We’ve been busy the past few weeks getting everything ready, replacing some of his equipment that was stolen and generally just spending time together.

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The weird thing though, people keep asking me if I’m ok. I understand it but I just brush it off. You see Ali and I have been together for nine years, in those nine years the longest time we’ve been apart is 2 weeks. We have our own lives but I like knowing I get to wake up next to him every morning. So the fact I won’t for 2 months is very weird to me.

It’s going to be a new challenge and adventure for us. I do get to visit the tour and see what he’s up to and I have a lot planned, especially on my birthday! I’m excited for him, nervous for me. I’ll be blogging throughout about my long distance love, so let’s see what I get up to…

Any tips for long distance? Let me know in the comments below!

Nine Years, New Adventures

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I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to put in this post. A long post about the love I have for my boyfriend, something funny and quirky, just a simple I love you and a few pictures? Nothing seemed right. Even as I write this, I’m not sure. If you’ve followed this blog go

If you’ve followed this blog for any amount of time, or any of my Social Media channels you’ll know that he’s a big part of my life. It’s too simplistic to say he’s my best friend and leave it there, because it’s more complicated. For the past nine years, Ali has brought out the best in me time and time again. Without him and his gentle nudging I probably wouldn’t have even considered University or been in a band or even been in the job I am today.

It’s not that he makes me who I am, we’re both our own individual selves, it’s more that he’s been a good part of the growing process. I mean he’s literally seen me as a slightly awkward teenager to a less awkward and more confident adult. He’s carried me to the bathroom when I couldn’t walk. He’s cleaned up after me, cooked for me. Most importantly he’s told me no at times and not just instantly agreed with everything I say (although that’s a whole blog post in itself).

Now we’re at the nine-year mark, we’re finding new challenges and adventures. In a few weeks he will be going on his first tour for work, all over the country. This means he’ll be away for two months. It’s a huge opportunity and I’m so proud I could burst, for our relationship though it’s going to be new. I think the most we’ve ever spent apart is two weeks. So it’s a bit of a jump.

With each year that passes we’re going to take on new things as a couple and by ourselves. This time last year we didn’t think we’d both be doing so well at work that he’d be going off touring and I’d be so happy working in design. In the next nine years we’ll probably get married, we might start a family or move. We might be thinking about getting a mortgage or we might be doing something completely different.

Either way, I didn’t know when I fell in love with him at thirteen years old how our lives would map out. I still don’t. I’m pretty sure if we’ve got each other though, we can make anything into an adventure.

Yes, your butt looks big in that – honesty in relationships

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It’s a long standing joke, the question, ‘does my butt look big in this?’ Most of the time when watching films, usually a comedy, the partner will exclaim ‘of course not!’, without thinking they will boost your ego. But, what if it does make your butt look big? I’m talking about honesty in general, of course, there are a lot more pressing issues than how your bottom looks in a new piece of clothing. A lot of us say we want a completely honest relationship but if your significant other was to tell you that it did, what would you do? Or would you tell your partner your true feelings?

Ali is an honest person, he always has been. If I ask him for his opinion he’ll tell me. I once asked him if he thought I’d put on weight, he told me ‘yes’ but went on to say if I wanted to do anything about it, he would help me, if not, that’s fine too. We’ve been this way for a long time, even as teenagers he would call me out on my BS. If I was having an argument with a friend and went too far he would tell me. Of course, there have been little white lies, I’m sure. I’m not going out with a saint.

What is great is that it will work both ways, I’ll tell him when I think he’s being too nice or if I have a different opinion on work for example. Have we had arguments form being honest with each other? Of course. Is it always nice? Nope. That said, I’d rather the person I trust the most tell me than him let someone else because he’s too scared to, what kind of relationship is that?

I’m not saying it’s easy, because it’s not. It’s taken us nine years to get to this point. Where we know how to say it as well as what to say without hurting the other person’s feelings. Instead of saying ‘your butt looks huge it’s a no go’, he might say, ‘I’m not sure it shows off your shape that well’ instead. See, honest that it’s not the right dress, not cruel.

What are your tips and troubles with being honest in relationships?

Let me know in the comments below!