Book Review: Far From You – Tess Sharpe

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“Bad ideas are sometimes necessary.” It sounds so much like an excuse, it’s such an addict thing to say, that it makes my skin crawl.”

Sophie counts the days, the weeks, the months that she’s been drug-free. Not your average image of a drug addict Sophie is a young woman who fell into an addiction for painkillers. Four months ago her best friend Mina was murdered, people say it was adrug deal gone wrong. Sophie knows the truth. There was no drug deal and there was no accident, Mina was murdered and she has to get people to believe her before the killer comes for her next.

All hail Tess Sharpe. I have to say that after reading this novel I was absolutely hooked, I wanted to read it about five times over because it had just been so magnificently written. Who can be believed, who can be trusted? No one knows in this gritty thriller novel if you loved Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls then you’ll adore Far From You. I’ve been thrusting copies into my friends hands since I read it because each chapter takes you somewhere you didn’t think it would.

Sophie and Mina are really interesting characters and the meaning of best friends. When Mina is murdered and Sophie wakes up next to her body, only knowing this is where Mina needed to be she knows that she’s in trouble. After she passes out again the police find drugs in her pocket. No one will listen to her not her parents, not the police, not anyone and if no one is going to help she’s going to have to follow Mina’s clues herself and hopefully Mina’s killer.

I love a thriller with decent twists and turns that no one can see coming, I cannot ruin it but the ending is something else that, out of everyone I’ve spoken to, no one can see coming. I did have some small worries about getting stuck into this book and the character of Sophie mainly because I didn’t want her portrayed badly because in the first few pages I really did fall in love with her and completely understand what she was going through.

There are also some very interesting relationships as you go through the novel, there are very little clues that I can give without unraveling the plot but just as you think, ok I know what’s going on here Sharpe throws another curveball and you’re back where you started and eager for more. I stayed up a lot later than I should have reading this book and can 100% say that I didn’t regret it.

It’s no surprise that I’m giving Far From You 5 stars *****. Tess Sharpe is a fantastic writer and after finding out that this is also a debut I was even more excited to see what she has coming next. A breathtaking and fast paced read that any thriller fan will love, although one word of advice don’t start reading it when you have something important to do the next day because staying up all night reading is highly likely.

Review by Chloe Metzger

Sunday Seven: My To Be Read Pile

Now it’s getting colder and days curled up in blankets are more acceptable I thought I’d share some of the books on my To Be Read (TBR) pile. There’s a lot more than this, but these are some I’m planning to finish in the next few weeks.

A Clash of Kings – George R.R. Martin 

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It’s been a while since I finished the first Game of Thrones book so I thought it was time I should get stuck into the next one in the series. After all, Winter is coming.

Shrill – Lindy West 

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A fab feminist read, because I always need a good book from a kick-ass woman on the go.

The Wicked and The Divine: Rising Action – Kieron Gillen, Jamie McKelvie (Illustrator), Matt Wilson (Illustrator)

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This is one of the weirdest graphic novel series’s that I read and I’m SO excited, can’t wait to get this read!

Hello Me, It’s You –  Anonymous, edited by Hannah Todd 

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I requested this from the publisher, mostly because I’m interested in what other people would say to their younger selves. I really hope this is as good as I think it’s going to be.

Belzhar – Meg Wolitzer

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A young adult novel that has something to do with Sylvia Plath? Sign me up!

In Order to Live – Yeonmi Park 

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I don’t know a lot about North Korea. I’m hoping that Yeonmi’s account, which I’ve heard only good things about, can teach me about what it’s like for the people.

Brain on Fire – Susannah Cahalan

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I’m always interested in reading other people’s accounts of their lives with mental illness. Susannah’s book was recommended to me on Goodreads.

What’s on your reading list? Let me know in the comments below!

Book Review: A Boy Made of Blocks – Keith Stuart

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‘Life is and adventure, not a walk. That’s why it’s difficult’

Meet thirty-something Dad, Alex… He loves his wife Jody, but has forgotten how to show it. He loves his son but doesn’t understand him. Something has to change. And it needs to start with him. Meet eight-year-old Sam,beautiful, surprising, autistic. To him, the world is a puzzle he can’t solve on his own. But when Sam starts to play Minecraft, it opens up a place where Alex and Sam begin to re-discover both themselves, and each other… can one fragmented family put themselves back together, one piece at a time?

I was a sent a copy of this novel to review by Little Brown Books after sending a request for it. That said, I always aim to be fair and objective about anything I receive from both publishers and authors. A Boy made of Blocks is no different.

This novel is one that tugs on the heart strings, Alex is a father that has no idea how to bond with his autistic son, he hides at his job because he’s constantly terrified of messing up. It’s easy, at the beginning, to see Alex in a very negative light, as someone who just leaves his wife stuck at home and puts his head in the sand, but it’s more than that. Stuart has really tried to show the fears that parents have about a diagnosis, the constant struggle that they’re not good enough and the strain that it can have on families. Being open and honest with feelings like this takes away stigma for parents, and Stuart knows it all too well. While he’s clear that the character isn’t his own son, he has used his own experiences.

The bond is truly beautiful, but it’s also about Alex’s journey and Sam’s self-discovery. Not only is the novel well written but has well thought out development of both characters and plot, as well as having a strong subplot. It’s clear that Stuart has a talent for fiction, particularly as his past is primarily in writing non-fiction. The novel doesn’t try and be a how-to guide for parents of children with Autism, nor does it include facts of figures that wouldn’t fit the character, something which other authors have done.

I gave this five stars *****, this really is a heartwarming novel of family and how being ‘normal’ isn’t always the most important thing. I will admit that I didn’t feel that the ending was entirely accurate but that was ok because this is a novel, it’s not a memoir, nor is it even about the authors family. If you want a read about love, family, and self-discovery then this is the novel for you. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would highly recommend for a more chilled read.

Living with Chronic Pain

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For the past year and a half I’ve been living with moderate to severe back pain. By definition this now means that I’m living with chronic pain, there’s no break from it, no rest , it’s just a constant part of my life. Living with chronic pain is not something that anyone chooses, in my case, it was because of an injury. We’re still not sure about the damage, I’m booked in to see another specialist and have another MRI scheduled.

I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again, it’s all about good days and bad days, as many illnesses are. On a good day, I might be able to do a light workout, walk around and the pain is just background noise. On a bad day, it’s like someone is hammering on my spine, the smallest things will hurt and climbing stairs can feel like Everest and when it’s at its worst I can’t feel much in one leg. I might have to take a crutch when I go to an event. I take my medication but it doesn’t even skim the surface, to say that it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But what’s it like to live with chronic pain? Well, it’s definitely not fun, but I’m always aware that my injury could have been much worse. I’m walking, when I was incredibly close to losing that all together. So I’m always aware of that but living with chronic pain means a lot of doctors appointments, a lot of tiring discussion, repeating yourself, physio and medication change after medication change. It’s not pretty, but for a lot of us, it’s just life.

Some people might not understand why I’m broadcasting this, why I’m letting myself possibly look weak. I don’t think that’s it though. I don’t think anyone who keeps fighting is weak and that’s what people with chronic pain do. We go to work, we live our lives the best we can, we just get on with it and that’s the simple truth of living with a chronic illness. Even when the pain is the worst it can be we carry on as best we can. That is what living with chronic pains is like.

Feminist Friday: Sexism is Exhausting

When I was talking to Ali about being in a little bit of a writing slump, we spoke about what I could write about, what I’ve written about before and he said that right now I need to take some time for myself, because I don’t relax, because even at 22 I’m guilty of wanting to ‘have it all’. In short, I’m exhausted. I’m constantly asked about the future at this age and I get really, really stressed. I get stressed when adverts don’t reflect my body, when eating cake is seen as a ‘cheat’ or ‘treat’ for women, but not for men. I get stressed about my career, about how I look, about how many bullshit articles there are in women’s magazines.

We’re always demonised for wanting to have a family, a career, a happy relationship, told that we’ll burn out. At the same time, there’s still sexism in advertising, women are sold cleaning products, but used to sell sports cars rather than being the ones who want to purchase them.  We’re marketed to for cooking, cleaning and particular shows on TV have adverts that are ‘female friendly’ about periods and ovulation, while the football has adverts for beer and cars. Because of all this pressure sometimes I just look at it all and think screw it, why am I doing this? Why am I fighting when I’m exhausted and all I’m seen as is a bunch of hormones who wants to clean and procreate. Is it any wonder I don’t relax?!

I know that I’m not the only  one that has thought this way, not the only one to just feel so tired and frustrated with the world. I’ll be honest the past few weeks have been really tough with personal issues and when you’re already down sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever beat sexism. For me as a young 20 something I think about whether I’ll get discriminated against if I choose to have a child, whether I’ll be able to be top in my field while fitting in school runs and plays and parents evenings. Even as recently as yesterday there were comments because of a comment I posted about loving to work and that I didn’t intend to stop working after I have children and this was from another woman.

Even in 2016, I’m still plagued by these worries, these conversations that my other half doesn’t have to deal with. I see magazines and women’s bodies have been manipulated by software and where women are told how to ‘please their man’, rather than focusing on themselves. I see people I know make sexist jokes. I’m the focus of comments that constantly question my feminism because I haven’t always been this forward and I’ll be honest, it’s exhausting. I want to shout feminism and be a warrior for women all the time, but I wanted to be honest and say that sometimes I’m worn down, I look around and think, fuck how are we going to fix this?

This is NOT me giving up, it’s not even me taking a break. It is me reminding not only myself but others out there that it’s ok to feel frustrated, to feel like this is so big, so much bigger than us. Now I’ve calmed down and thought, written, I’ve realised that everyone has these days and that feminism and battling sexism isn’t something someone can take on on their own. I realised that we’re all in this together and that everyone is allowed to be scared or stressed or frustrated, these frustrations keep the fire burning but we can’t let them burn us out because otherwise, we’ll get nowhere.

 

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I didn’t think I would be writing a post like this quite so soon. This week, at around 12am on Thursday morning Ali and I had to say goodbye to one of our beloved and beautiful babies. We found Noodle struggling to breathe at about 11pm and rushed her to an emergency vet, stroking and talking to her the entire way. Unfortunately even after being given oxygen she was struggling to breathe, it was decided that the humane thing to do was to put her to sleep, so she wouldn’t be in pain. She was around 18 months old. 

Holding my sweet girl on my chest as she struggled and was semi conscious broke my heart. Ali hugged her and said goodbye and then I did. Nothing prepares you for that. Coming home with an empty cage I felt as if someone had reached into my chest and hacked out my heart. It was the lowest I’d felt in years. Even though we did the kindest thing in that time I still felt guilty, that was my baby. 

I’ve sobbed on and off since the moment they took her through for oxygen and I still am now. But I’m trying to look at pictures and videos to remember her as the happy little ham she was. God it’s so hard to write was. 

Trying to put into words my heartbreak is just, partly impossible. Both her and Hamski have been there for me without judgement, only love. They got me out of bed every day because they needed me. And while Hamski is still with us and cheeky as ever, it will take time not caring for two. Both Ali and I will always love and remember our brace little one as more than just a pet, because she was. Rest in Peace baby girl. 
Noodle Miller April 2015-September 2016 

Book Review: Rad Women Worldwide – Kate Schatz

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I was sent a copy of this in exchange for an honest review.

It’s a known fact that women were often left out of the history books too often. Although we are getting better at recognising the impact that women have had in the past and are having now, books like this are a huge help. This is a beautifully illustrated and colourful book to highlight some of the great and interesting women throughout the world and history, while there are some that you will have heard of (Malala and Freida Khalo to name a few) and many that you will not have. I had no idea that women had such a prominent history in making peace, that there were female rulers of Egypt. There is so much that is missed out, important people that are only just starting to be recognised, or are sadly only recognised after their deaths. While there is a rich and diverse history in this book, I was longing for more by the time I reached the end and I’m hoping that there will be more to come. This is definitely a five star read and I’d recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about the incredible women or past and present.

Owlcrate Review and Unboxing

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It’s that wonderful time of the month again! Yes my Owlcrate arrived this week and while I was slightly unsure about whether I was going to keep going with it (money is a little tight) this month absolutely cemented that I was going to keep ordering it. This months theme is Darkness and I absolutely loved it. So as always if you don’t want any spoilers look away now and pop back when you’re ready for the wonder that is ‘Darkness’!

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Fortune Telling Bath Bomb 

How amazing are the colours in this? I absolutely love that this was included as the days are getting colder and baths are more and more needed (especially with my back as it is). Completely different and unexpected but I LOVE it! img_0745

Celaena’s Cake Candle 

I haven’t read the book that references Celaena BUT this candle is absolutely delicious. It’s all vanillery (yes, I have a degree in English) and scrumptious. So. Damn. Good. img_0749

Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children Make up/Pencil Case

Again, this is something I haven’t read/ haven’t seen the movie but this quote makes me want too. I absolutely love it and the case itself is a decent size. I’m not sure what I’m going to use it for but it’s awesome.  img_0746

Remade 

This is the only thing I wasn’t too sure about it’s some kind of serialised story but I’m not sure how you get hold of the others? It’s not particularly my thing but it’s nice all the same. img_0747

P.C. Cast new novel bits and pieces

Back in the day I was a HUGE fan of the House of Night series, although unfortunately I never finished them because I felt like there were too many (although one day I’d like to do a re read) so I’m really excited to see P.C Cast writing another novel. Also dog colouring, can you go wrong with dog colouring?

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Three Dark Crowns – Kendare Blake 

And finally, the book. This came with a signed plate too, which is now in the book and also beautiful textured pages too. The novel has what appears to be three kick ass women fighting to be Queen. I get some Game of Thrones meets King Lear vibes for this, so I’m excited to get stuck in.

What did you think of this months crate? Let me know in the comments below!

Feminist Fridays: Little Girls and Lipstick

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I’m a firm believer that women should do what empowers them and not take any notice of anyone else. For some this means putting on their make up or perhaps a lipstick to go out, to make them feel confident. Hell, I know I’ve put on a splash of lipstick to make me feel more confident than I really am. While I’m not a frequent make up wearer, I understand that others do and respect their choice. Banning make up isn’t going to sole gender inequality in the world. This week, however, I did have a serious think about children and make up.

When I was a little girl I thought my Mum’s red lipstick was the most classy thing ever ( which is probably where my love for a good red lip comes from), but she only did this when we were going out somewhere special. Day to day, while my Mum used make up it wasn’t made out to be a big thing, she could go out without it if she wanted too, and often did. Now she has two daughters, one who has minimal interest in make up (me) and another who can shame some make up artists if she tried (my sister). I thought back to our childhoods and the way make up was presented to us, it was just another thing. Did we want our nails painted like our Mums? Of course we did but that’s all it was, Mum never showed us a desperation or a need for make up.

Now, when I look for presents for my Goddaughter, due to the fact she’ll be a big sister soon, I find myself increasingly frustrated about what is put on the shelves and the child models themselves. Someone on my Facebook shared an image of a toy that was marketed as 5+ but, alarmingly, the little girls on the front appeared to have red lips. There are piles upon piles of ‘toys’ that have nail varnishes, lipgloss etc with Disney Princesses on. I fully understand little girls wanting to be like their Mums and Sisters but at the same time I’m worried that at the age of 3 or 4 little girls are introduced to an idea that playing, for them, is to do with their appearance.

We all know that growing up is not easy, so why are the toy companies cashing in on making little girls grow up even quicker? I know it’s about business, I know it’s about profit but there’s something I find deeply uncomfortable about it. You don’t want a 4 year old thinking that all they can do is play with dolls and lipgloss. I’m a big believer in letting children be children, because they are for such a short time. Women are told to worry about their bodies from all kinds of media for their entire lives, but putting lipstick on a child that’s going to go on a toy box? It’s too far. We need to take back the toy aisles. We need to tell girls it’s ok to want to play with other things, that they can build whatever they like about lego and we need the kids on the boxes to look like happy and healthy kids, not a dressed up version.

Sometimes, when I write these, I just feel an overwhelming sadness. I struggled so much to fit in even at secondary school because the only make up I was interested was eyeliner, and a lot of it. I struggled when girls would be making up dance routines or playing ‘Mums and Dads’, because I was leading an army in the woods with the boys. I’m not saying that I didn’t LOVE body glitter the age of 10 or put on my Mum’s make up like other girls, of course I did at home. The thing is for almost al of my life I’ve felt like make up was just a thing, not the be all and end all. I don’t care if I go on without it, but I worry about what little girls are seeing now. Look at everyone on Youtube doing make up tutorials, the images used on boxes and the pop stars they watch. There’s never a hair out of place and images are photoshopped for perfection. It may only be a little bit of make up on a model but I for one want to give kids as much time to be kids as possible, before they have to deal with growing up.

Book Review: Others Of My Kind – James Sallis

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Jenny Rowan has spent years re-building her life. After being kidnapped at the age of eight by a paedophile and kept under his bed for two years, she finally managed to break free and ends up living in her local mall. It takes 18 months for the urban legend of ‘mall girl’ to be found and placed in the state care system after she can’t even remember her real name. We meet Jenny yeas later after she’s built herself a life and career, but her past starts catching up with her.

Although I fell in love with Sallis’s style and generally the way he writes I didn’t really understand the meaning of the novella. It was as if there were so many avenues that Sallis could have taken and so many unanswered questions remained at the end. The story moves quite quickly and you can generally assume that this is building up to a key part of the story. It wasn’t until after I finished I realised that there isn’t a  huge moment in this novel, instead, the plot actually seems to reflect the personality of the protagonist.

I found the character of Jenny to be sweet but I don’t feel like I really knew her throughout the novel. The changes were almost too quick and despite knowing her back story the reader doesn’t have a relationship with her. The novel doesn’t focus on Jenny’s past, which although others say is one of the perks, I found quite disappointing. I also didn’t understand the relationship between Jenny and Jack, it didn’t really make sense to me and perhaps that is due to the lack of context. They just seemed to be thrown together and get on instantly, it didn’t seem real or likely. As did Jenny’s relationship with Cheryl, while it highlighted Jenny’s open and caring nature, this also seemed rushed, perhaps because this is a novella. That said Jenny’s empathy for the squatters was what, for me, showed her as the ‘good person’ she is described as on the back of the book.

Overall I enjoyed the short story and it was interesting but it could have done with more suspense or general push behind it. I’m going to give this 3 stars ***, I did enjoy it but I found it difficult to follow. For example, Sallis also brings in some sort of political agenda, one which I struggled to understand. While it relates to Jenny’s past I wish it had added more suspense rather than just being there as an issue and a link. This would definitely have made a much better full length novel in my opinion.