How I really felt after getting engaged

Real Talk: How I Felt After Getting Engaged

Hello lovelies,

I’ve started going back to basics and just writing my thoughts and feeling when I feel them – could be a good idea, could be a nightmare, who knows? I’ve been thinking about whether I should talk about getting married on the blog. Then I realised that this is my little chunk of the internet where I write about my life…so it makes sense.

ANYWAY back to the matter at hand. As you probably know, I got engaged a few weeks ago (post about it here if you missed it) which is exciting. Of course I was bouncing off the walls about the engagement, then people started talking about the wedding. A lot. I just wanted to live in the excited bubble of getting engaged!

Within a few hours of getting engaged I was asked whether we had a date…nope. Overnight all of my Facebook and Instagram ads had changed to be wedding ads. People I hadn’t spoken to in years were getting in touch. I was being asked about venues, guest lists, planning. AHHHHHHHHH.

In the two days that Ali and I were the only people who knew about the ring and upcoming engagement it was blissful. While I was happy people were excited, I felt so overwhelmed so quickly. And no one was asking Ali these questions…so I found myself feeling anxious and not being interested in wedding stuff.

Instead of being excited I avoided talking about it, I got stressed by numbers and how damn expensive this shit was. It’s one day? How can one day cost so much money! I tried to reason with people surely that would be better spent to have a marriage than a party?

I think this is something people don’t talk about. I’m excited to marry Ali but the actual wedding? It’s overwhelming when so many people are interested and I feel like I have so much to do. Then after a few conversations and a few breathers I realised this is about us. This isn’t about anyone else.

So, I am going to be updating on this wedding thing and how we’re getting on and I need to bloody relax while doing it.

How I Unwind After A Long Day

How I Unwind After A Long Day

The only thing I want to do after a long day, particularly one in the city, is relax. I’m not the best person at relaxing…I’m actually quite terrible but there are some things I can do to help myself out.

Lush Bath

I love a good Lush bath to unwind. I’m always a big fan of something sweet as well as colourful, oh and glitter. I’m not afraid of glitter. Luxury Lush Pud below!

Lush Bath

Comfy Clothes

On with the pyjama bottoms and a baggy t-shirt. If I’ve had a long day, it normally means I’m quite achy too

My home is my space and I want to be as comfortable as possible, you’ll also find that my make up is scrubbed off my face at home.

Slipper Socks or Fluffy Socks

I’m a huge fan of fluffy socks or slipper socks, even better if they have woodland creatures on them (I have two fox pairs as I write this).

I’m always cold and not a big fan of regular slippers so these are a dream. Buy yourself a pair and you will never look back.

A Cup Of Tea

I have a mug that is almost as big as my face because I love tea that much. Getting a good cuppa and curling up is a very British way to chill out but it’s one of my favourite ways to do so. If you’re wondering, it’s milk and two sugars.

Mug and Socks

A Good Book

I’ll read at any time but it’s one of the very few ways I can really relax and switch off from real life. I get invested in the story, which is why I’m also not afraid to discard a book if I’m not interested!

It sounds cliché but I really can get lost in a good book. Everything else disappears and it’s just me and the story.

Sleep

An early night does the world of good, and sometimes that’s all you need.

What helps you relax? I’d love to know below!

International Women's Day 2019 Blog

Quotes To Celebrate Women – International Women’s Day 2019

Happy International Women’s Day!

I’m so proud to be a woman, of the wonderful women I surround myself with and those I admire from a distance. So, why not celebrate it with words of wisdom from badass women. Here’s 8 quotes that I loved!

“Know what? Bitches get stuff done” – Tina Fey
Sylvia Plath
“Girls are not machines that you put kindness
coins into and sex falls out” – Sylvia Plath
“Don’t let anyone speak for you,
and don’t rely on others to fight for you”- Michelle Obama

” I’m a woman phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman, That’s me.” – Maya Angelou
“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor.”
– Betty Friedan
” I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will, which I will now exert to leave you.”
– Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre
” I feel like young girls are told they need to be a princess and fragile. It’s bullsh*t. I identify much more with being a warrior – a fighter. If I was going to be a princes, I’d be a warrior princess. Definitely.”
– Emma Watson
“I’m tough. I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes a bitch, okay.”
– Madonna

These are just some that I absolutely love, what are yours? Let me know in the comment below!

Let's Talk About Money

Let’s Talk Money

I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that here in the UK we aren’t great about talking about money. It’s kind of viewed as a yucky topic. If you do talk about money you’re either showing off or complaining, well that’s what I’ve found.

As always, it started with a book (big surprise to my regular readers). I was recommended You Are A Badass At Making Money by Jen Sincero and I thought why not have a listen? I loved it and I’m not against saying that it completely changed my perception of money.

Money Anxiety

Money for me has changed a LOT in the past few years. Mainly because I am now directly responsible for making sure I have enough. If I don’t work for whatever reason, I don’t get any. Self-employed life for the win! Before that even being in full-time employment I was always anxious about money. No, scratch that I was scared about money.

What if I didn’t have enough? Was I making enough? Should I be making more? Would I be stuck earning this amount for the rest of my life? Yep, definite money anxiety. And I know I’m not the only one.

Changing Your Mindset

There’s the idea that money is hard to find and therefore it’s unlikely you’ll have enough. This is what I had to change personally, Sincero says that money is all around us, we just need to find how to access it.

Hold fire, I understand that this seems out there, I scoffed at it at first BUT think about it. There are opportunities everywhere, yes some of us have more privilege to access it than others but it’s still there. It’s all about what we’ll do to access it and the mindset we have about how we’ll get it.

A mere few days after finishing this book, I was told a client of mine was no longer continuing. Normally this would have given me a panic attack and a lot of teams. I was anxious, no doubt, but I took a few breaths and spent my entire train journey noting down ideas of how I could possibly gain back that income.

I had a positive mindset that I could and would replace that money. That I just had to find it. It wasn’t instant but there are more things in the pipeline.

Calling Out Bullshit

Rich people aren’t evil, poor people aren’t stupid. These are some bullshit ideas that float around. How you view money and what you want is a big part of the book. Similarly, if you enjoy money and want to make a large amount you’re not a soulless demon.

We have some really weird ideas as a society about money. One of this biggest is that it has to be a secret. I know for a fact people have been paid more than me to do the same job, in the same place.

I’ve always been pretty open about my earnings to those who are close to me. It is what it is and I won’t be ashamed or embarrassed.

I’m fully aware that circumstance can hugely impact how much a person earns! It’s not all positive thinking and fingers crossed. BUT unless we talk about it how are we going to know if people are being exploited or mistreated?

How are we going to fix problems with pay gaps due to gender and ethnicity if we refuse to talk about them? Additionally, we need to make sure we are supporting those who are minorities or those from low-income backgrounds because we’re only going to become a better society.

How do you feel about money and the way we talk about it? Let me know in the comments below!

February 2019 Favourites

Well, February was a dream. If you’re a regular reader you might have realised I never did a January favourites post for 2019, because I was really struggling. There were good parts, like moving to our new home but overall I felt pretty meh. So in comparison, February was wonderful. So let’s get into some favourites!

Books

I read a lot in February, so it was hard to pick favourites, but I have managed to pick six for you they’re all pretty varied too. If you want to know about the rest of them I am doing a whole wrap up.

What Would The Spice Girls Do – Lauren Bravo

A fun and powerful look back at the impact that the Spice Girls had on us and the world. I absolutely adored this book and its great fun but also makes you think.

Saga Volume 9 – Brian K. Vaughan 

I can hardly say anything because it is the 9th in the series BUT, I will warn you to keep tissues with you, this broke my heart.

Royals – Rachel Hopkins 

Not my usual read but I fell in love with Royals, although I think it’s now been renamed and is being rereleased. This was a funny and sweet contemporary with a royal romance.

Far From The Tree – Robin Benway 

A beautifully written YA novel about family. This made me feel so many emotions while I was reading and I did get a little teary eyed. I can’t believe more people aren’t shouting about this novel.

Heartstopper Volume 1 – Alice Oseman 

I loved Alice Oseman’s novel Radio Silence and kept seeing people talking about her first graphic novel about a romance between 2 guys and it’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever read. I read it within an hour and immediately ordered volume 2…it’s gonna be a long wait until July.

If My Body Could Speak – Blythe Baird 

It’s rare that I feel that a book speaks directly to me and my experiences. I can see this collection becoming a favourite for so many because there this is real and it will resonate with so many people. Full review to follow of course! I was gifted a copy of this for review.

Big News

I won’t go on about it too much, because I know I’ve posted it EVERYWHERE but in February I got engaged! I’m so excited to marry my best friend and feel truly, truly lucky.

Listening

Ariana Grande, Thank U Next

In case you’ve been living under a rock – Ariana Grande dropped a new album in February. She also made history having the number 1, 2 and 3 in the US charts. I’ve had this album on repeat since it came out. While I wasn’t sure at first I’ve fallen in love with it.

General Life

And a big mix of others here! We obviously had the snow which was a favourite for the first day or two…until I was snowed into my flat – not fun! Ali and I also had some fun making pretzels from scratch YUM.

I also got to spend some time with my godkids this month, which just warmed my heart so much. As well as that I received a beautiful pin from my cousin in law to be, I love pin badges, even if I have no idea how to display them. I can also recommend the Chocolate Layer Cake from Wagamamas, after a trip with a friend.

Rounding up this mix is my new (3rd) bookcase, which I am in love with, some wand inspired makeup brushes from my Mumma and a new treat for myself – getting a manicure.

And that is my month! I’m hoping March will be great too as it finally gets to Spring time – I’m so over Winter. How was February for you? Let me know in the comments down below.

February Book Haul 2019

My February Book Haul

Well, after buying no books in the month of January February was a little different. It’s time for my February book haul and buckle up because there is a LOT. It’s worth noting that I’m only hauling physical books…let’s not even get into the e-ARCS.

The Gifted Books

First up, the books I have sent by lovely people who encourage my bookish ways. I’ve received Eye Level by Jenny Xie as I’ll be working on the International Dylan Thomas Prize and this is a contender. I have also been sent two books that are on the longlist for the 2019 Wellcome Book Prize. Educated by Tara Westover is one I’ve heard about constantly and while I haven’t heard about Mind On Fire by Arnold Thomas Fanning I always want to read more mental health memoirs. And I also was sent Am I Ugly? by Michelle Elman a memoir I’m looking forward to getting into.

The Sale Books

Sooo, Waterstones had a sale. I got all of these books for £1 each! They’re not damaged and I don’t quite know why they went into sale but I’m excited. I picked up three YA novels and one general fiction.

In YA we have Hello, Goodbye and Everything In Between by Jennifer E. Smith, Here We Are Now by Jasmine Warga and Fearsome Dreamer by Laure Eve. I’ve enjoyed books by Eve and Warga before and have no idea about Smith so we’ll see. And we also have Look At Me by Sarah Duguid which involves finding a family member who was never known about! Dun, dun, duuuuun.

The YA Books

I might have gone on a little Amazon spending spree in YA. I keep hearing about Five Feet Apart by Racheael Lippincott with Mikki Daughtry and Tobias Laconis so I picked it up and so far, so good. It’s giving me The Fault In Our Stars vibes – one of my favourite books.

I also picked up A Danger To Herself And Others by Alyssa Sheimmel, I loved her previous novel Faceless so as soon as I saw this I needed to pick it up. Also, while I’ve never read or watched DUFF, I’ve bought That’s Not What Happened by Kody Keplinger. The blurb looked really interesting and I’ve heard nothing but good things about Keplinger so why not pick it up?

Other Books

I also picked up two poetry collections Feminine Gospels and Standing Female Nude by Carol Ann Duffy. I do love some poetry and I couldn’t resist when I went to Waterstones Picadilly, I could have stayed there for so long. I was also lucky enough to be given a copy of Fairytale by my friends Nan because she is so adorable.

So, that was a MONTH and I’m super glad I’ve got a new bookcase to put them all onto! Did you buy many books in February? Let me know below!

Life Update: I’m Getting Married!

Hello, lovelies!

I have been a little quiet on social media the first part of the week and that’s because I was keeping a secret and I didn’t trust myself not to spill the beans because…I’M GETTING MARRIED! Yep, that’s right this girl is going to be a Mrs.

If you’re interested in the details then read on, if you’re just here for the news, thank you!

As my regular readers know Ali and I have been together for 10 years after we met at school. We’ve spoken before about getting engaged and married but it wasn’t a rush. Lately, we’ve been talking about it more and so I hoped it might happen soon.

On Monday, we met our friends Ed and Emmi for lunch and a catch-up – no mention of getting engaged, nothing. While walking around Emmi and I looked at rings, half joking half serious aaaaand something weird happened. Ali was actually talking to me about which ones he likes, which ones I like. We looked at a lot of shops.

Then came the last shop, coincidently where we bought my necklace for my 18th birthday and had a browse. While looking, our friend Ed nudged the sales assistant to show us the engagement rings. I don’t know why but I started to freak out? Damn this was just looking right? RIGHT?

Then Ali asked to look at the two we both liked. We ended up choosing one while internally I was trying to work out what the hell was going on. Were we engaged now? The ring would take a few days to be delivered to our home, I was sworn to secrecy until it arrived and then I was asked…

LONGEST TWO DAYS EVER.

I avoided everyone, I didn’t trust myself and although I didn’t know when I’d be asked I thought it might be a good idea to go and get my nails done and then, after a day of teasing on Wednesday night Ali asked me to marry him.

I’m going to be his wife?! Which is crazy. We waited to tell all of our family and close friends before the rest of the world and I’ve just been blown away by how loved we are. People I haven’t spoken to since school got in contact saying they’d been waiting to see this. Work colleagues, people from uni. As I write this I’ve had over 300 Twitter likes which is insane?!

So, yeah, I’m getting married. I’m pretty excited and my fiancè is pretty cute.