In my Creative Writing classes if we used the cliché of ‘Every Cloud has a Silver Lining’ we’d be in for it. I hadn’t really thought of things being that way but Dani sent me a text the other day reminding me and I thought, yeah actually she’s right.
I’ve had a few few things in my life not go to plan or not go very well. Take for instance failing my driving test 4 times, the first time I walked into my house, decided I couldn’t hold it together and launched my shoes at the wall. Once I’d calmed down my Mum said she knew that I’d have a melt-down because I’d never failed before, not in any sort of test. I kind of needed to fail then I think, I needed to to remind me that things could take time and that’s ok. Don’t get me wrong I wish my parents and I hadn’t had to pay out hundreds of pounds before I passed in my 5th test but there was a silver lining there.
Another thing, my time at school. I don’t write about it much on here, I might some day to do a post on bullying. So it was horrendous, I was spat at, beaten up, spiralled into my darkest days of depression and for the most part left by my school to spiral more and more until my parents took me out for exams. That said, I can’t write school off as a totally negative experience, it’s where I met the love of my life. It’s where I kept forgetting a girls name and calling her Frizz who 5 years later gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who is now my goddaughter. Again, another silver lining.
And now my back. If I’m honest it’s really hard to see silver linings at the moment, my days are long and boring. So I’ve tried to find some and there are there a little. I can’t go to Prague, but I am allowed to go to the Society Awards where hopefully Horse Riding will win a few awards. I’ve been stuck in bed as it’s the only place I’m really comfortable, but I have had time to go over and submit my assignments as well as read any book I want too at the moment.
I try to remember this in times when I’m really low. If you’re reading this and thinking I can’t do it, I feel too bad, that’s okay! I know the feeling of being so low and shitty that there aren’t any positives and if there are you’re hurting too much to care. I’ve been there. Like most of us I’m just trying to have a little bit of positivity 🙂
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