Do you ever feel like your brain is going to explode? Like everything in it is trying to burst out all at once. You want to stay at home, but you want to go out. Your starving but you’re not hungry. You have a million and one ideas but can’t get one of them on to paper. I feel a little bit like that tonight.
The last week has been incredible and I’m still so proud to have gotten my award last week. With all that in mind though it doesn’t make my low moods just dissapear, as much as I want them to. It’s hard to explain because I have so much good going on in my life but sometimes I just want to hide, forget everything. As good as life is, no one puts as much pressure on me as myself, actually everyone else tells me to calm the hell down and that it doesn’t matter if I don’t get straight 70s or do that work right now. There’s just this drive in me and I’m definitely my own harshest critic.
I’m just feeling so many emotions all the time right now that I don’t know I needed to get it out ,and I know that some of my followers will definitely understand how I’m feeling right now.
I’m going out tonight to celebrate Daniela’s birthday, I’m determined to try and leave this anxiety at home. I don’t want this anxiety I get to affect my friends and family because that’s not who I am. That’s why I hide a lot of things when I’m not feeling great people panic or don’t know how to react to me, I’m still normal, still me. Yeah so I might not react well to guys trying to hit on me but I’m like that with or without anxiety, there’s a right way to try and talk to a girl and most boys in clubs do not follow that.
I’m just hormonal and tired and want to get out and just forget how many things are in my head right now!