First of all I want to wish you all a very merry Christmas! I hope you all have a great few days to spend time with the people you love, hopefully get some great presents and relax…if you’re not working a temp job that is! After being woken up by my little sister at 2am, 4am and 6am I should be more sleepy right now (oh and may I add my sister is not so little anymore, she’s nearly 13 years old and pestered me relentlessly all night), but I’m wide awake and smiling.
That’s a big thing for me at Christmas, being able to be so happy and feel content. Why am I happy you ask? It’s not the obvious answer. It’s not the presents I got this morning, the beautiful camera, the stocking full of little gifts that I love, the leather jacket, the signed John Green novel or the DVDs. It’s not the thought of Christmas dinner later (I’m one of the very few people who isn’t a fan of Christmas dinner). It is just being happy that is enough for me, I feel this glow around me because I am smiling. I’m grateful for everything that has happened this year the good and the bad.
I know people might not understand why I keep going on and on about just being happy. The thing is I haven’t always been able to be this happy at Christmas and it breaks my heart. Back in 2010 (I think it was that year anyway) I was really suffering with my lows and no matter how grateful I was I just couldn’t be happy. I couldn’t just smile, it was a big effort which lead my Mum to think I didn’t like my presents, which upset her a lot and upset me because that wasn’t true. It was so frustrating because I wanted to be really happy and excited like I normally am on Christmas morning but it just wasn’t there. I was crying a lot and I blamed it on the fact that it was the first year without one of my pet birds, although it did upset me that wasn’t the reason I was so unhappy. Luckily my Grampey came to the rescue after speaking to my Mum on the phone, he spoke to me. Gramps has a knack for understanding me at times when nobody else can really work it out so he spoke to me and all he said was that Christmas was an emotional time and you think about things and reflect a lot. That was all I needed to feel a little bit less anxious and upset and as the day wore on I picked up little by little.
My point is that being happy is the one thing I want to be not just today but everyday. I’m lucky that I had a lot of support around me and felt loved. So if someone is a little down don’t give them a tough time, just remember to smile and try and spread a little more happiness!