Heading To The Aisle – 1 Year To Go…Again

Right now, I was meant to be sat in a beautiful hotel with my Mum and a few of my bridesmaids, maybe we’d be having dinner or a few drinks to celebrate my last night as an unmarried woman. Of course, that isn’t happening and I find myself starting my 1 year countdown to my wedding…again.

Back in October we decided that as soon as our venue would let us we were postponing our wedding because of the impending restrictions, and seeing as we’re now in lockdown again I’d say we made the right decision. If you’d have told me in the first lockdown in England I would end up postponing my wedding I would have thought you were mad. Almost year later and still dealing with lockdowns?

Oh what a poor sweet summer child.

While I can’t say I was happy to make the decision, we were relieved at that point. As you can imagine trying to save for a wedding during a pandemic when you’re trying to keep yourselves afloat doesn’t really happen. With the relief though came real sadness, deep heavy sadness, although it came a little later. I desperately wanted to marry Ali after so long together and waiting until 2022 (the only date we could do and get) and having to pay more for it just hurt, which also lead to cocktails and crying.

There are silver linings though, we’ve got more time to save, there’s a few ideas for things I’d like to do that I now have time for and, of course, we can have a safe wedding with people we love. I also proceeded to eat all the chocolate once I had my sense of taste and smell back without being nervous about my dress doing up – so that’s a win.

I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow, probably a little sad but we will get married, and after 12 years together I think 1 more year is going to be ok.

Wedding Update: Corona, Cocktails and Crying

Wedding Update: Corona, Cocktails and Crying

Well, it’s been a while since I did a wedding update – mostly because I had no idea what was going on and partly because the only solid update happened while I had a huge case of writer’s block – standard.

Let’s take it waaay back to August, my wedding dress was ready to pick up 3 months early (!!) which meant a cautious trip to Brighton on the hottest day of the year, in masks. We had to get there for 9.30am – the only appointment the shop had that week due to reduced opening. After all the anxiety that the dress wouldn’t fit it was a little big and I loved it just as much – I didn’t want to take it off.

Masks on and ready to go with Mumma

Moving to 2022.

Originally we still had a bit of hope and then cases started to rise and more restrictions started to come in. We’d already agreed that if we were restricted to less than 50 people by January we were going to postpone. As time went on it got more and more likely but we couldn’t officially postpone until 6 weeks before or we would be charged by our venue.

Then Boris laid out plans for the next 6 months, back down to 30 guests, no reception – some places are even requiring a 2 meter distance between the bride and whoever walks her down the aisle. We couldn’t do it, I’ve waited 12 years to say I do and while it’s the marriage that’s important we decided we wanted to do it with the people we loved.

Not long after that our venue agreed to let us move the day I started contacting suppliers, I was touched by how kind they were. It was all quite straightforward but after I still hadn’t cried. I just felt a little lost, I now had over a year.

Crying Over Cocktails

As my Hen Do had been moved as well my best friend and Bridesmaid, sister and Maid of Honour and my Mumma took me for a few cocktails the afternoon it was meant to be.

It started off with the booking I’d made not being added – not great but we soon had a table for a few hours and 30% off our first drinks. And we got started while waiting for my sister to finish work. Let me preface this with I’d been building my new Lego Hogwarts castle before I left so I hadn’t eaten much.

We got drinks and food…and it went straight to my head. I enjoyed spending time with some of the people I love most, I got louder and a little more loving. I went to the bathroom and it hit me, I definitely wasn’t getting married and I started to cry and it was like a dam broke. I couldn’t stop crying. Even after we left the tears kept coming, Chris decided to take me back to hers and let me cry it out with an adorable puppy and lovely Lex.

The thing is I needed that. I hadn’t let myself be upset really, I felt like I shouldn’t be because there was so much else going on in the world. But I can be upset and I am. It’s not swallowing me whole but being able to be upset is ok.

So there’s going to be more wedding content because we have over a year to go again now!

Have you missed out on any big events this year? Let me know in the comments below!

Heading To The Aisle: 6 Months To Go & Planning During A Pandemic

Heading To The Aisle: 6 Months To Go & Planning During A Pandemic

Today marks 6 months until my wedding day! After being together for 12 years and being engaged for over a year getting to the 6 month mark is exciting!

So, where are we at? Luckily I booked a lot before we went into lockdown in March. I still have a fair bit to sort flowers, suits for the men, food options etc. People have asked me if it’s still going ahead, while I’m anxious about what will happen in January we’re planning as if everything is going ahead.

During the lockdown and covid I have felt a little disheartened. There are things that I always thought would be part of my countdown experience that I won’t get. In light of everything going on in the world they seem so small and insignificant but I won’t get them back.

I planned to take my sister to pick up my dress with me as she couldn’t go when I tried them on, possibly my Nanna too. I’m only allowed one person to go and pick up my dress next month (yes, it’s 4 months earlier than we anticipated!) which is my Mum. So there’s a little bit of bittersweet there as well.

Unlike most people, I also had a few different Hen Do celebrations planned. A trip to Disneyland Paris with my Mum, Sister and one of my best friends has been postponed to after the wedding. My big Hen Do that I know nothing about other than the fact it’s in London in October is being planned to go ahead. The final one, a meal with those who couldn’t or didn’t want to come to London is a quiet meal that I hope can still happen.

That said, I know that in the grand scheme of things I’m lucky. There’s still enough time between now and January that it can still go ahead as we planned. I’m trying not to think too much or get too wrapped up in the ‘what ifs’ – it’s bloody hard. I’m sending all the love to brides who have had to postpone.

So, 6 months to go and fingers crossed we’ll be in a much better situation then. If I’m honest the most important part is marrying the man I love. The party part is just a bonus to me. I just want us to be married.

Heading To The Aisle – Finding My Wedding Dress!

A few weeks ago my Mumma and I headed down to Brighton and Hove with one thing in mind, to try and find my wedding dress. I’ve been looking for a long time now trying to find a shop with dresses that I liked.

I scoured website after website and kept coming back to one based in Brighton, Ocean Bridal. They seemed to have a huge mix of dresses and more than a few that I liked the look of, it also helped that when emailing I was in contact with a wonderful woman called Simone. She made me feel so relaxed about coming when I had been tying myself up in knots over it.

We were originally due to go back in November but due to some personal reasons we had to rearrange, which was not a problem at all and made me even more determined to get to this shop.

The shop itself is in Hove, a 5 minute train journey from Brighton itself and just around the corner from the station. We were greeted with a huge smile and while we waited for a few minutes met some other lovely members of staff including 2 very cute dogs.

Once in we explained it was the first wedding dress shop I’d been in for myself and I’d never put on a wedding dress before. I’d sent a few in advance that I wanted to try but was encouraged to look around and pick a few more and during the process Simone would pick a few more she thought I might like.

For someone who is incredibly self conscious trying on new clothes and gets super anxious in changing rooms I had the best time. You know they say you know your dress as soon as you put it on? I knew. I knew that dress was the one. I put it on and my reaction was ‘oh’. I felt the most beautiful I had ever felt. Bare in mind this wasn’t in my size and the final will fit like a glove.

I tried on more dresses after that but kept coming back to the first one. Nothing made me feels as good or confident. I didn’t see my flaws in that dress I just saw me and I couldn’t stop smiling. I found my dress and more importantly I felt like a damn movie star with no pressure to lose weight to fit in in or change myself. I felt beautiful.

Now, this is a difficult post to write because I can’t tell you anything! It’s not just because I’m excited to for it to be a surprise for my guests but ALSO my super sneaky fiancé has been trying to do some snooping as to which dress I got! Thankfully, I have no pictures of it on my phone (at my own request) and I am more determined than ever to keep this a secret…but the below photo gives you an idea of how excited I am and how hard it’s going to be to keep this a secret for 11 months.

Anyone want to take a guess at the kind of dress I’ll be wearing? Leave a comment below!

Heading To The Aisle: 1 Year To Go!

This time in 1 year I will be a married woman getting ready for her reception after saying ‘I Do’ to my favourite person…whaaaaaat?! It feels absolutely crazy that we’re down to the one year mark. Despite how organised I apparently am, I’m still feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed about getting things sorted in the next 364 days.

That said, I also feel a little more settled in what I want for the day. My guestlist has been cut down to people I care about, I’ve sorted colours, the venue, the band and other big stuff and I’m on the hunt for my dress.

Recently, I’ve seen a lot of people getting engaged (congrats if that’s you!) and a lot of WHERE DO I START posts. That was 100% me, as I explained in my real talk post. I did wonder if I should have written it but now I am so glad I have because I was how I felt at the time! Nervous and overwhelmed by other people’s expectations I’m slowly letting go of what other people think or want which is so refreshing.

Now my focus is to get everything paid (eek), sort out our honeymoon to Disney World, Orlando obvs and get the finishing touches sorted so it’s not a totally crazy and stressful year.

So 365 days to go…not that I’m counting or anything! 😉

Heading To The Aisle – None Of My Friends Are Bridesmaids?!

Picking your bridesmaids for your wedding is important. These are people closest to you who you want to be in your bridal party. I have been a bridesmaid twice in my life, the first for my aunt when I was a kid and the second when I was a teenager for my uncle. So I’ve thought about who I’d have for mine for a long time. I got engaged and decided that none of my friends were going to be my bridesmaids.

Now, it’s not because I don’t love my friends or that I think they’re up to the task. To put it simply, I didn’t want any politics. I think when picking which friends will be bridesmaids you can alienate people or hurt them. I’m going to be 26 when I get married, that’s 26 years worth of friendships I need to choose from and, I didn’t want to choose.

How could I ever compare my best friend since I was 8 years old who lives in Australia to my bestie who’s kids are my godchildren? Could I really not choose the friend who was there the day we bought my ring over the ones I choose to go drinking with? And then what about the guys in my life? Leaving out some of my ultimate closest friends because they aren’t female? I hated the thought.

So, I made a decision early on. The only people who were going to be my bridesmaids were related to me or Ali with one exception. My sister was always going to be my bridesmaid, no ifs or buts. I’m fortunate that we’re really close too, which is a bonus. I asked my little cousin, she’s 12 years younger than me and I adore her. She’s my little sass queen but also the kindest soul I’ve ever met.

I also decided to ask Ali’s sister because we’re going to be family and I think it’s important that both of our sisters are a part of the day. And my last bridesmaid, but probably one of the most important guests (at least that’s what I’ve told her) is my Goddaughter. She is the only person who isn’t related by blood to us but this little girl means so much to me and this is like a dream for her. She’s already desperate to get her dress and pretty shoes. So damn cute.

And that’s that. Weddings are about the people who are getting married and for me (I don’t think Ali cares all that much who my bridesmaids are) this was a great solution to something that was taking up waaaaay too much brain space. My friends will all be there to celebrate with me, they know how much I adore each and every one of them and I feel more relaxed about not having to choose favourites.

Who did you have or are you planning to have as your bridesmaids? Let me know below!

Heading To The Aisle: Finding Your Venue

I’m back with a bit of wedding chat – hooray! Now, things have ramped up at little bit since I last wrote about feeling overwhelmed about where to start and what to do. We now have a date, a registrar and a venue, yep check me about! I’m going to become a Mrs on the 16th January 2021, eek!

With no doubt one of the biggest things is getting your venue right. When we got engaged I was reluctant to look at any big venues, I was worried about the money we would spend but thanks to a bit of gentle nagging my Mum got me to visit two of the bigger and more impressive venues in my hometown and, don’t tell her, but she was completely right.

To say I’m in love with my venue is an understatement, I got a gut feeling as soon as we walked up that this was the place for me. The first time I saw it I went with my Mum and got a full tour – I’d recommend going on an open day/evening as they will set it up for how it may look for a wedding.

My wedding venue!

There are a million posts online about what questions you should ask but my main advice is ask about things that are important to you as well as the boring admin things. For me the important things were that the ceremony and evening were at the same place, accessibility, the guests rooms and what we would be eating, for Ali the sound, the way it was lit and layout were important.

It has to be said that without our parents wanting to help us I would have set my sights on a smaller venue. I’m aware how lucky we are that our parents want to help. That’s something I will say, don’t assume either way. I didn’t want to assume our parents would help, so I didn’t look at the beautiful venues. Have a conversation with everyone involved and see where things stand – you might be pleasantly surprised.

Really, your venue should make you feel happy and comfortable. I could visualise myself saying I do in the room where our ceremony will be held. Also, take your time! I only booked ours so quickly because I knew it was right for us, if you haven’t found it yet then take your time to look around and see what’s available.

Heading To The Aisle – Where Do I Start?

You might have read that I’m getting married. Yep, this girl is heading down the aisle after nearly 11 years of the boy putting up with me – yippie! So, I thought that I might start blogging about the whole thing, I’ve always written about all aspects of my life and this is one I’ve been getting quite excited about.

I wrote a little while ago about how I really felt after I got engaged I’m pleased to say that I’m now feeling a lot less overwhelmed and starting to enjoy planning the wedding. That doesn’t mean I have any idea what I’m doing when it comes to planning. There is so much to think about that I hadn’t even considered.

Now, we’re not planning on blowing all of our money on the wedding. I’ve said from the beginning I want a marriage not just a wedding. So I’m not inviting everyone, I’m not spending thousands on a dress. This is going to be a wonderful day, but it is one day of our lives.

So, I’ve finally started to look at wedding venues, I think I’ve found my dress and have chosen my bridesmaids (more on that in another blog). Now I’ve gotten over being overwhelmed I’m starting to get excited about things and make plans.

I have to point out, this isn’t going to become a wedding blog – it’s definitely not my thing but I’m looking forward to sharing bits and pieces that I’m really excited about but not so much the different variants of cream bows.

And that’s where we’re at right now, I’m going to be writing more about what it’s really like to be planning a wedding the laughs, the frustrations and the excitement. It’s going to be a fun ride!

How I really felt after getting engaged

Real Talk: How I Felt After Getting Engaged

Hello lovelies,

I’ve started going back to basics and just writing my thoughts and feeling when I feel them – could be a good idea, could be a nightmare, who knows? I’ve been thinking about whether I should talk about getting married on the blog. Then I realised that this is my little chunk of the internet where I write about my life…so it makes sense.

ANYWAY back to the matter at hand. As you probably know, I got engaged a few weeks ago (post about it here if you missed it) which is exciting. Of course I was bouncing off the walls about the engagement, then people started talking about the wedding. A lot. I just wanted to live in the excited bubble of getting engaged!

Within a few hours of getting engaged I was asked whether we had a date…nope. Overnight all of my Facebook and Instagram ads had changed to be wedding ads. People I hadn’t spoken to in years were getting in touch. I was being asked about venues, guest lists, planning. AHHHHHHHHH.

In the two days that Ali and I were the only people who knew about the ring and upcoming engagement it was blissful. While I was happy people were excited, I felt so overwhelmed so quickly. And no one was asking Ali these questions…so I found myself feeling anxious and not being interested in wedding stuff.

Instead of being excited I avoided talking about it, I got stressed by numbers and how damn expensive this shit was. It’s one day? How can one day cost so much money! I tried to reason with people surely that would be better spent to have a marriage than a party?

I think this is something people don’t talk about. I’m excited to marry Ali but the actual wedding? It’s overwhelming when so many people are interested and I feel like I have so much to do. Then after a few conversations and a few breathers I realised this is about us. This isn’t about anyone else.

So, I am going to be updating on this wedding thing and how we’re getting on and I need to bloody relax while doing it.

One of my best friends is getting married!!!

engaged shit

This weekend I got the amazing news that my best friend is going to be getting married!! Yes, my fellow long term relationship friend got proposed to this weekend. Amy and Peter are a truly brilliant couple and I have been doing nothing but smiling since I got the message and started screaming and laughing with excitement in the middle of Wimbledon station with Daniela…I’m pretty sure people thought we were having some kind of break down.

When your best friend gets engaged a lot of people tell you that you’ll have this wave of jealousy, this ‘why isn’t it me’ reaction but I can honestly say I haven’t. My smile has been as wide as it’s ever been and as soon as I could I went to buy an engagement card, started thinking of things I could get them as wedding gifts and any way that I could possibly help Amy.

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I can’t wait to celebrate with these two (sorry for pinching your picture Peter), who truly are meant for each other and have given childhood sweethearts another happy ending. Now let the celebrations, crazy planning and good times continue, I can’t wait to see them say ‘I do’.

Congratulations Amy and Peter!!!!