Tag: suicide

My Big Mouth: Stigma needs to stop!

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You can’t fail to have noticed the coverage over the last few days about the terrible end to the Germanwings flight, with reports stating that the co pilot deliberately crashed the plane to attempt suicide. This is a terrible tragedy with so many lives lost, however, that is not what has chilled me the most.

The pilot, it is reported, had mental health issues. I am not in any way justifying what he did by killing all those people who did not want or deserve to die, but if he was this depressed who knows what was going through his head. With this in mind I need to stress that the British media in particular are handling this information in a disgusting and shocking way. With papers calling him a ‘mad man’ and asking questions such as ‘why was he allowed to fly?’ many mental health sufferers will have felt a familiar sense of dread.

It’s easy, when people are angry, to have knee jerk reactions but when almost all of the press are taking the same angle it is terrifying. I know that in this country in the next few weeks anyone who declares a mental health problem is going to be scrutinised more now, due to the way in which this has been handled by the media. It’s a terrible case and I don’t think we’ll ever know why he did what he did. Like everyone else I am shocked and angry that he took all of those other people with him, including children.

I do have something to say though. I have mental health issues, I write about them each and every day. Events like this fill me with fear because of how other people judge people with mental health problems. While most people understand that we are just like anybody else, others can’t seem to grasp the concept that we are just like everybody else!!!! I’ve had depression for more than a quarter of my life now and guess what? I don’t want to hurt anyone, I don’t want to be violent towards anyone and if I ever feel angry or anything like that I am the one I direct it to. Yes I might snap at people if I’m angry but this idea that people with mental health issues (that’s around 1 in 4 of us by the way) want to attack and hurt others is wrong and so, so rare. We are not going to get anywhere as a society until we start trying to stamp out this stigma! With the press saying ‘mad man’ and such we’re moving backwards.

I have to say though, the amount of people who have come forward to say that they are depressed and still working, still strong has been incredible to see. The BBC I can do nothing but applaud for their coverage of the crash, and now investigation. We cannot let one individual shape a quarter of our society! I for one won’t let that happen. So many incredible people I know have or have had a mental health issue, but they’re getting there. It might take a little longer or a different route but the world wouldn’t be what it is today if everyone with an issue was locked away and forbidden to work.

People are only going to be scared of mental health while they live in ignorance, education really is the key here.

When the past catches up with you

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It was inevitable that at some point in the next few years my past would crop up. I didn’t think the time for this would be in a playwriting workshop that would completely throw me. I was speaking to a friend the other day about things in your past that you could hide at university after becoming a new person and she told me it was harder when unexpected things made you stumble. I found this out in my Creative Writing lecture this afternoon after the topic of bullies came up and the victims. We were supposed to write about our school and write a scene based on it. I had already started to squirm and decided I wasn’t writing the exercise, I wasn’t even going there. It got worse as the lecture went on as descriptions of school days came to light, what the bullies did and I could feel dark mood spreading. People started to laugh at the ‘antics’ finding the mental abuse funny.

Needless to say I left that lecture, I just couldn’t handle it. Quite frankly it’s not funny, it damages lives and can cause suicide. All the little tricks that were played never ever leave you. I know that because it’s still in my damn mind and it still makes me angry. I feel like maybe I should spit ball all those who laughed in the lecture, hide their notes before an important exam, create lies about them or just make them feel useless? Because that people is what it does to someone when you bully them because that is when it’s not funny.

Ask my Mum how she felt when her daughter would hysterically cry and beg not to be sent to school. Ask Ali how it felt watching me struggle for years with how I felt about myself. How about you ask my little sister if she understood why I was so sad when I came home from school. Funnily enough when you bully someone it doesn’t just take over their life but it takes over the lives of the people who love them too.

All this said I don’t hate the people in my lecture, I don’t believe that they are bad people but I was upset. I’m sure if they knew it, wouldn’t have been as funny but that is my whole point. Why should your perceptions change because someone is in the room, surely you should just find it awful in principle?

I’m going to try as hard as I can not to dwell on this because I have been doing so well in getting over my past. I’m finally trying to talk about things and sort out my feelings. Luckily I had a very special friend in that lecture who understood and helped get me out as soon as she could, and for that I am grateful.

It’s just a thought for you guys, although I know many of you will understand why I feel this way.