Things I’d tell myself at sixteen

I’ve been quite reflective recently and thinking a lot about my teenage years, particularly as my sister is fast approaching her 16th (!!) birthday. Now I’m in my twenties, and believe me that’s a rollercoaster enough, but I had a tough time as a teenager, it wasn’t easy but at the same time some of the best things happened to me. I think we all have a certain view of our teenage years. I don’t agree with people saying that it’s the ‘best time of your life’ but there are certain times I look back on fondly. So, here are some of the things I wish I told

I don’t agree with people saying that it’s the ‘best time of your life’ but there are certain times I look back on fondly. So, here are some of the things I wish I could go back and tell myself to just give me a bit of a hand and the things I’ve learnt.

School isn’t forever. 

My life was hell at school, sometimes it felt like it was never going to end but it definitely did and it was glorious.

You’re right to look forward to college, it’s going to be great. 

I lived and breathed for my college. I could do classes I wanted to escape the people who hated me. I used to go and meet Ali from his day with butterflies. It was definitely a good two year with some great friends.

Trust him when he says he loves you, he does. 

I’ve been with Ali for almost 9 years. I had such issues at sixteen that I wasn’t good enough, that he was going to leave me etc. I was a complete nightmare. I wish she knew he’s still around now.

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Don’t hate yourself, you’re not well. 

I was incredibly ill with depression at this point, I literally felt like I was going insane and ruining everyone’s lives. I wish I knew that it was all to do with an illness and not because I was a terrible person.

Others opinions don’t matter

Can not stress this enough!

You can have a great future!

 I didn’t think much about the future much, I couldn’t but I wish I knew that I could get there.

Keep singing, keep writing, keep being creative! 

There were more than a few times I just didn’t want to do it anymore, what was the point, why bother? It was going to do more for me than I thought!

Ignore your art teacher, you’re never going to impress her. 

Seriously, the woman had her favourites, I wasn’t one of them.

Talk to someone. 

Just talk about how you feel.

YOU.ARE.NOT.FAT

Seriously, I would shout this until I was blue in the face if I could. I really struggled with the way I looked and thought I was chubby but I really, really wasn’t.

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The house parties are going to continue, they’ll be some of the best memories of your life. 

Best. Time. Ever.

Think about uni, just think about it. 

I thought it wasn’t for people like me. Oh I was wrong.

Love yourself, cause you’re pretty awesome. 

Something I still need to remember at 22.

 

What do you wish you knew at 16? Let me know in the comments!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book Review: Baby Doll – Hollie Overton

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‘A dead bolt has a very specific sound. Lily was an expert at recognizing certain sounds–the creak of the floorboards signaling his arrival, the mice scurrying across the concrete in search for food.’

Held captive for eight years, Lily has grown from a teenager to an adult in a small basement prison. Her daughter Sky has been a captive her whole life. But one day their captor leaves the deadbolt unlocked.This is what happens next…to her twin sister, to her mother, to her daughter…and to her captor.

For a debut novel Hollie Overton has struck gold. I bought this after watching someone on Youtube who had been sent an ARC and intended to read it and I’m so glad I picked it up. I didn’t just read this novel, I devoured it. Reminiscient of Emma Donoghue’s Room, Overton has attempted to capture what life is like after being kidnapped and imprisoned. With similarities to real cases in the media such as Jaycee Duguard, who was imprisoned and gave birth to her captors children, the novel focuses on how Lily can face a world that she hasn’t known for almost a decade.  The most interesting part of the novel, however, is how her return impacts her entire family and how they’ve been living their lives.

The writing is fast paced and appears to be well researched, from Lily’s initial escape to her attempts to reconnect with her family, a world that is fascinated by her and her captor. Speaking of whom, this is the first time I’ve read the perspective of a captor, it was both brilliant and chilling. I felt incredibly uncomfortable reading his side of events and thoughts behind what he had done. While it’s easy to dismiss him as ‘insane’, Overton has breached something that people haven’t before and added to Lily’s torment.

The change in family dynamic and how the lives they have been living impact Lily’s return were incredibly interesting. We don’t normally see what happens when these victims have to go back into the real world and how their families have to learn how to live with their loved ones, when they aren’t the same daughter, sister or granddaughter as they were when they left. Lily and her twin sister are strangers to each other, while Lily is a mother to six-year-old Sky, raised in captivity, Abby has scars of a suicide attempt and is pregnant herself. Reading about the sisters lives and their attempts to come together highlighted the difficulties of these kinds of situations. There were twists and turns that made me gasp in shock and while some have argued that Lily copes too well with what happened to her and the outside world, I feel it highlights that everyone is different. That said, I feel that if one of the subplots had been disregarded there would have been more time for Lily’s recovery within the novel.

I gave this novel 4 out of 5 stars. It’s been a long time since I’ve read a good thriller. This was compared to Gone Girl and The Girl on the Train, both of which I thought were terrible, but Baby Doll was a breath of fresh air. The novel dealt with so many different emotions and aspects of this kind of case. While I had mixed feelings about the ending it was different and not something I guessed beforehand (which is such a relief, I’m sick of guessing twists). I’d highly recommend Hollie’s first novel. Is it perfect? No. That said, there are few first novels that are. If you like a good thriller and are looking for something different this is a read for you. Hollie is one to watch.

Sunday Seven: 7 ways to show you love someone all year round – 14th Feb 2015

Love it or hate it Valentine’s day is everywhere. As you all know I am in a relationship but I’m not about to assault you with something mushy and OH MY GOD HE IS SO AMAZING LOOK AT ALL MY GIFTS.  That kind of thing irritates the hell out of me. Of course we did the big valentine’s thing in the beginning roses and chocolate and all that but we’re both of the mind that Valentine’s is one day of the year, what about the rest of them? Being in a relationship is about loving each other every day, one day of presents does not make a successful relationship, well none that I know about anyway.

So for today’s Sunday Seven I’m going to talk about the day to day things that really matter. It’s not about big bouquets, teddies and chocolate. Although I love these things too, why buy them when they’re on mark up? We want to move into a bigger flat, not waste money because we’re told me should. So, here are this week’s seven.

1.Asking how someone’s day was

This is really important. Someone wanting to know what you’ve been up to and what’s going on in your life is just so nice. It’s also nice to have someone to talk things over with if you’re in a dilemma over something. Two minds are better than one.

2. Taking care of someone when they’re sick

In the past year I’ve really took a battering with my health. Firstly with my spine and last month when I was sick. I don’t think I can ever explain how grateful I was to have Ali around for both. He had to put up with a lot, helping me walk, pushing my wheelchair, seeing me in so much pain, getting me painkillers, helping me in and out of the bath and even flying to a different country with me. Even now I still need a little help sometimes when it’s cold or my back goes into spasm. All of that love and care means more to me than anything he could buy.

3.  Little Surprises

I always pick up a chocolate bar here, a cake there, a book or shirt that was in the sale. I like seeing his face when I treat him to something unexpected. I feel the same when he asks if I want to just grab a burger while we’re out. It’s a nice and simple way of showing you care for someone. There’s other more boring things like tidying their desk or leaving a plate of food for when they come home, or even a little note that can make all the difference.

4. Being there when they’ve had a rough day

Being able just have a hug or getting something off your chest when you’ve had a rough day makes me calm down. I also think more logically when I’m talking it through.

5. Being honest

I may not always like it but he’s always honest. If I’m in the wrong or if something’s a stupid idea he’ll tell me straight up.

6. Doing things you might not want to do because it makes them happy

For some girls it’s sports, for some it’s big family dinners and for me it’s listening about video games where I have no idea what’s going on. Harder to try and be interested at 2am.

7. Food

They once said that food was a way to a man’s heart, turns out it’s also the way to a woman’s. Cooking or getting a take away is always a winner. Always.

The uni couples

In my first year of uni I saw a lot of love and not just the kind that only happens in a one night stand. Of course those happen, it wouldn’t be uni without the various hook ups when people roll out of Pryzm or at 2am. I want to use this post to just show people how diverse uni is when it comes to love. 

 

The Fresher’s hook up 

I’ve seen this one so many times! People go a bit crazy during freshers, get a bit flirty and anything from a kiss to well… So they hook up and then awkwardly avoid each other for the rest of the year praying they won’t have to start a conversation. 

The Flat Mate Romance

This one explains itself. Sounds like a bad idea. Probably is a bad idea. Wanna go for it? I’d leave it until the last month if I were you just so you have an escape route should you need one!

The Long Distance Couple 

I love these couples! I have a lot of friends in LD relationships. Don’t get me wrong it’s a hard time to deal with a LD relationship we’re all young, new people, new places etc but you CAN get through it, so many people do. Sometimes you sacrifice a night out or two to see them but it’s all worth it if you really love them. 

Coming out 

So many people come out at uni. Like I said you find out who you are, what you like and can really be whoever you want to be. Uni also has societies for LGBT people making it easier to have someone to talk to. 

The casual hook up (that lasts a year)

The are they? aren’t they? sort of couple. They’ll never admit how much they like each other but they’ve been having casual hooks ups all year and don’t seem to go for anyone else…

The couple that came to uni together 

This is me! My boyfriend and I decided when applying to go to uni’s close to each other or the same. Kingston was perfect because we had our own space, made our own friends and now we’re moving in together 😀 A lot of couples do this, maybe not at the same uni but in the same area.

The mistake…

Most people will have a relationship that was a mistake for so many reasons! It’s normal and human! Don’t beat yourself up when he/she doesn’t turn out to be ‘the one’ as much as they are the one you want to hit with a bus. 

Looking for love 

A lot of people come to uni looking for love…keep going there will be someone! 

The LOUD ones 

You know what I mean. They *cough* like they’ll die tomorrow and make sure everyone knows…

The ones who find their soul mate

Something like 25% of people find the person they go on to marry at uni, that could be you!