Tag: Memoir

Book Review: My Shitty Twenties – Emily Morris

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Emily Morris was just an average 22 year old, she loved travelling, her degree and was balancing that with a part time job. That was until she took a pregnancy test and it was positive. After the father telling her to ‘enjoy her shitty twenties,’ she knew she was going it alone.

I came across this marvel of a memoir because of a recommendation in a magazine, there was something about the title that grabbed me as well as the brilliant cover design. I’m the same age that Emily was when she found out she was pregnant so it felt very real to me.

I feel like I need to point out this book could have gone a very different direction. This is not a whiny, my life is so hard and it’s not my fault type book, not at all. This is a very different type of coming of age story. It’s Emily having to grow up and completely change the course of her life, with her son.

While reading, I honestly felt for Emily. There was no support from the father and a sense of losing her independence after she needed to leave her student accommodation to live with her Mum, away from the city she loved to care for her newborn son. I can say, hand on heart, that she is a fantastic Mum.

This book breaks down terrible stereotypes about young mothers. I think I loved it so much because she has the same spirit and determination that my Mum had when she had me at 21. That said, she shares the hard times as well, the fact that she struggled with postnatal depression and the struggles of being judged as a young mum trying to do her best.

I honestly think that this is an incredible memoir. It’s thought provoking and shows the best of a change in your life. I’ve given this book 4 stars I absolutely loved it and can’t wait to see what Emily does next.

Book Review: You Can’t Touch My Hair And Other Things I Still Have To Explain – Phoebe Robinson

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I’ll be honest, prior to picking this as an audiobook I had no idea who Phoebe was. It just sounded like a funny book with an important message. What I ended up with was a great new comedian and writer to follow and a new appreciation of what it’s like to be a Woman of Colour.

It’s not a surprise to any of you who visit my blog or any of my social media that I’m a White British woman. I fully admit that I have no idea what it’s like to live as a Woman of Colour and I never will. Phoebe’s book isn’t just about race but she really gave me insight in a firm but approachable way and made me consider things I hadn’t before. I didn’t expect that from a book that marketed as being funny.

Don’t get me wrong, Phoebe is hilarious. It’s like listening to that awesome friend with all these crazy stories that you can’t believe are true. While doing this though, she talks about Feminism, about being put down creatively, about casual racism. The bottom line is that Phoebe is fiercely relatable, I think to the majority of women. I absolutely ADORE her.

One of my favourite parts of the book (which I can guarantee works best as an audiobook) is Phoebe’s letters to her niece. Of course, they’re funny a little inappropriate and meant for when she’s older but there’s just a wonderful sense of care. That Phoebe is talking about all of these issues, not for her, not for us, but for girls of the future so the world is a little bit easier for them to navigate.

I gave this four stars. This is a brilliant, well written and hilarious book. There’s just the right mix of humour and serious thought throughout. The only tiny reason I haven’t made it five stars, is because there are points I felt dragged on a bit too long for me. It definitely is a great read or listen though! Make sure you check it out!

Book Review: The New Girl: A Trans Girl Tells It How It Is – Rhyannon Styles

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Imagine feeling lost in your own body. Imagine spending years living a lie, denying what makes you ‘you’. This was Ryan’s reality. He had to choose: die as a man or live as a woman.

Rhyannon is brilliant, to put it simply. Throughout her life she has been a light in what sounds like quite a bland place to live for someone so fabulous. After being assigned male and named Ryan at birth, Rhyannon knew she was different. From her earliest memories she wanted to be a girl. At the age of 30 her dream finally came through, this is her story.

I’m a huge fan of reading about people’s journeys and how they have faced adversity. I listened as Rhyannon narrated her story, the highs and the lows and what it was like growing up in a small town and labelled ‘gay’ to living in the city and realising who she really was.

What makes this stand out for me is how Rhyannon adresses her family and their reaction to her transition. I appreciate the honesty that she has about how she and her family differed about her being Trans, how families can struggle and feel the need to grieve the person they thought they knew. I feel this could really help young people who go through a similar experience not feel so alone.

The only issue I had with this book is that it seems to be divided in two, but not in an obvious way. Rhyannon has decided that she would first tell her story in relation to happiness and light-heartedness but later reveal her ‘b-side’ as she calls it. With this there was a bit of a risk that people would give up before that point, I know I wondered if the story was sugar coated until I got to this point. It’s not a case of wanting misery, rather I wanted to know more about how Rhyannon felt prior to transition.

I gave this 4 stars. I found Rhyannon to be intelligent, insightful and show her feelings well throughout the book. There is also humour in the book as Rhyannon looks back and considers both the good and the bad in relation to her experience. I’d definitely recommend for an informative read.

Book Review: Wildflower – Drew Barrymore

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“Be authentic. Be yourself. And most important of all..make it personal”

You’ve probably heard of Drew Barrymore, child star, actress, writer and business woman. I picked up the audiobook of Barrymore’s latest book ‘Wildflower’. I didn’t know when starting that Barrymore had already released a book as a teenager ‘Little Girl Lost’ (which is incredibly hard to get hold of). This is a different story, while it touches upon that part of her life, this is a positive story where Drew is nothing if not grown up.

Barrymore was legally independent at the age of 14, something which she was for at the time. There are points where I just wanted to give her a hug. As a 14-year-old she was living in an apartment, working shifts at a coffee shop, unable to cook or clean and completely alone. This is part of the story that she tells. On the other hand, Drew writes about the love and wonder the being a mother brings, letters to both of her daughters as well as her anxiety at parenting when she didn’t have her parents around.

Each chapter shows a different part of Barrymore’s life in a kaleidoscope. From what it’s like to be on a boot camp with her fellow Charlie’s Angels to crazy antics from her twenties. There’s a lot to laugh about while creates a balance. Barrymore is a breath of fresh air and has an obvious flair for writing and being able to inject humour too, something which not many can.

This book has definitely kick started a fascination with Drew Barrymore. She had so many challenges in what seemed a life of privilege, she came out of the other side and now she’s a kick ass business woman, writer, actress and more. I’d fully recommend this book, it’s not a chronological book, while it does jump around a lot I thoroughly enjoyed it. For this book, there was definitely an added benefit hearing her act it out.

I gave Wildflower four stars ****. This is an excellent read with an important message. She doesn’t make excuses and admits when she made mistakes. Humorous, thought-provoking and brilliant. Get reading.

Book Review: Without a Doubt – Marcia Clarke

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Overnight Los Angeles prosecutor Marcia Clark went from a hard working single mum dealing with a divorce and the cases that came through for her to one of the most recognised women in the world. In June 1994 O.J Simpson was accused of the brutal murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman. As a result of the celebrity nature and an infamous car chase, Marcia was a central player in the media circus that became ‘the trial of the century’, this is her story.

I had never heard of Marcia Clark until last year when I watched the American Crime Story series on the Simpson case. I was instantly drawn to this woman, played by the magnificent Sarah Paulson, and wanted to know more. I watched interview upon interview. I liked that she spoke her mind, she was quick, intelligent and most of all, human.

Clark’s account isn’t a glamorised version of the case, nor is it an autobiography. She goes into detail that is relevant to her reactions to the case and that is that. I was exactly the straight talking, honest opinion I expected from Marcia. There are no ‘woe is me’ moments, she knows that there were things that should have been done differently and things that impacted the case.

Reading about the trial from Marcia’s perspective made the case more real to me than ever. I wasn’t even born at the time of the murders, but Marcia’s detail made me feel like I was. She talks without hesitation about her frustration and anger at the ‘dream team’, Simpson’s defence lawyers, at Judge Ito and his quest for fame and the seeming uninterest of the Jury.

The book goes through evidence and, basically, breaks down evidence and why the team did exactly what they did at each point in time. She doesn’t shy away from the problems, the Fuhrman tapes, the infamous glove, she tackles them head on.

There is also a spotlight on the mistreatment of Marcia by not only the public but those in the courtroom. It’s easy to see now that she was the victim of rampant sexism and badgering. Every inch of Marcia was judged and discussed in any type of media, from many accounts she was mistreated by Judge Ito and Simpson’s lawyers, to the point that her personal life was brought up in court. This wasn’t a woman hungry for fame or with media savvy, she just wanted to do her job.

I devoured this book via Audible (I like listening to memoirs in the author’s voice if possible). Of course, I gave it a five-star rating. This book is more than just a tell-all about a celebrity trial. You can feel through the pages the responsibility that Clark felt to get justice for Ron and Nicole, her anger and frustration at the verdict. This is an extraordinary read and I would highly recommend it to all.

 

Book Review: A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy – Sue Klebold

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On April 20, 1999, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Over the course of minutes, they would kill twelve students and a teacher and wound twenty-four others before taking their own lives.
For the last sixteen years, Sue Klebold, Dylan s mother, has lived with the indescribable grief and shame of that day. How could her child, the promising young man she had loved and raised, be responsible for such horror? And how, as his mother, had she not known something was wrong? Were there subtle signs she had missed? What, if anything, could she have done differently?

These are questions that Klebold has grappled with every day since the Columbine tragedy. In”A Mother’s Reckoning,” she chronicles with unflinching honesty her journey as a mother trying to come to terms with the incomprehensible.

When you go into a book like this, you expect to face difficult questions, questions of morals and honestly, someone to blame. A lot of people were quick in the days after Columbine to point the finger at the parents of the shooters, after all they should have known, right? In the years since the shooting, Sue turned down many book deals, she didn’t feel she could speak honestly about the son she still loved despite what he did, as well as being in many long legal battles. This book needs to be read with an open mind and with the reminder that this is a mother who has had to try and deal with not only the death of her son, but also the aftermath of what he has done.

I was completely fascinated with the idea of this book, because to my knowledge it hasn’t been done before. We never think of the parents of the shooters, which is understandable, we want to think of the victims, their families. To see Sue’s perspective opened my eyes to the aftermath of these events when the news crews leave and a community is left to pick up the pieces and look at people in a new light.

Sue doesn’t shy away from the darkness and depression that she felt, the hopelessness and self-hatred both her and her husband felt in the years following the shooting. She also is completely honest about her feelings towards her son. At times it is hard to read, she is a mother, of course, she would try to see the good in her son and try and find every plausible reason he is innocent. Sometimes you want to shout through the book, but it is at this point that you will need to look at the bigger picture, I admit I struggled with this throughout the book. By the time I finished, I understood as much as I could the emotional journey she had gone through.

It’s definitely a tough and complex read, which Sue addresses throughout but it is also educational. Sue has done a lot of research, contacted experts and looked over every shred of evidence she could, really to try and understand what went wrong with her son. In light of this Sue wanted to understand mental health, start conversations as she truly believes that this is the only way to prevent further violent acts, that parents should know the warning signs of depressive behaviours. She talks in an educated manner about suicide, mental illness, what it’s like to not know someone is suffering. These topics are all covered with honesty, intelligence and care.

I gave this 4/5 stars. It was a particularly interesting, challenging and emotional book and I can only applaud Sue for speaking out. Some will, of course, question whether Sue should have written this book, whether anyone should feel sorry for her. They’re valid questions, particularly in light of the victims and their families, but all I can say is you have to read it to understand. Sue want’s to bring education and attention to the world in regards to mental health, because she does feel guilt and pain about what her son did, but she’s going to fight for the rest of her life to try and help those in need.

 

Copy received via Netgalley for review

Book Review: The Baby Laundry for Unmarried Mothers – Angela Patrick with Lynne Barrett-Lee

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I became interesting in this subject after watching a TV show called Lost Families on UK’s ITV 1,  a show trying to reunite families with their loved ones, often due to a child being adopted. As I watched again and again, the same story was repeatedly coming up. A young woman getting pregnant between the 1930’s to the 1970’s (ish) and being sent away in shame and disgrace or removing themselves to mother and baby homes, run by Nuns to give birth alone, spend mere weeks with their children (who were desperately loved by their mothers in the majority of cases) and being put up for adoption often leading to years of guilt and heavy secrets for the mother.  I was walking around my local library and I saw this blurb…

‘I’d been denied saying goodbye to my baby,

denied that last chance to stroke his cheek and feel his fingers grip mine,

to kiss his tiny mouth in loving farewell’

That alone is heart wrenching. The year is 1963 and a young nineteen year old girl is forced to wear a fake wedding ring, to go alone to a convent run by so called ‘women of God’ (which made me seriously consider why people don’t think religion is about power), to endure a horrendous labour with no comfort and no idea of what was going on, then to fall in love with her perfect little boy Paul only to have to give him away and why? To avoid stigma and ultimately to make sure she did not disgrace her family in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Although Angela forgave her mother and step father (after the death of her own beloved father) her story made me feel uneasy.

However it haunts me that throughout in all aspects of things going wrong or Angela feeling pain, she repeatedly asks God if he has forgiven her yet, desperately praying for her personal hell to be over, for her sins to be forgiven. To me, this in itself is pretty alarming here is this young intelligent woman, with a job in London and what seems to be a loving family (even though some love cannot be expressed) who does what she needs to do in societies eyes but ultimately pays the price her entire life because of wondering what God would think? It just proves that too me religion is so dangerous and don’t even get me started on these lovely nuns! Sister Act they were not, women were forced to work in heavy labour jobs until the day they went into labour, not laughing, no smiling, insulting these vulnerable women, leaving the babies all night long with no feeding and no changing, no holding the babies and god forbid you give your own child a kiss goodbye!  Even after leaving the nuns behind, Angela is terrified and heartbroken after leaving her son , she is later sure that being unable to conceive is God still punishing her for having sex before marriage!

Angela does move on, although never forgetting Paul, happily marrying and having a ‘miracle baby’, her daughter Katherine. Although the joy that pours from these pages when Paul finally gets hold of his mother is euphoric, it really makes you ecstatic even though you know it will happen! This story has made me realise the true bond of mother and child. I do not have children myself, although I desperately wish to have them in the future, it seems strange to think that within the next ten years if I am lucky I will have my own child.

It’s so clear that Angela truly loved this tiny baby boy the agony she must of had to endure hearing him crying and not being able to say goodbye.  It is both sad and beautiful, we know from the blurb  that Angela will find Paul again, for the reunion she dreamt of for thirty years, but in the thick of it you forget that, you feel her pain. This is a valid part of history that cannot be forgotten we must learn as a younger generation from these poor women and children’s stories and make sure that it never happens again.

 

This book is truly unique, heart breaking and inspiring❤

 

I give it 5 stars.

Review originally posted in 2012.

 

Book Review: Wishful Drinking – Carrie Fisher

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‘It isn’t all sweetness and light sabres’

Carrie Fisher was born into the madness of Hollywood, the daughter of Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher grew up watching her parents sing, dance and act. Is it any surprise that this bundle of joy grew up to be one of the best known actresses of her generation? At the tender age of nineteen Carrie was catapulted into stardom after the release of Star Wars A New Hope as Princess Leia became the heroine girls wanted to be and the beauty the boys wanted to date. In Carries memoir, written to accompany her stage show of the same name, she reminds us that underneath the glamour of it at she had to cope with her own demons; addiction, mental illness and the media.

Now, if you didn’t know already I LOVE Star Wars, I got into it last year after finally watching the original trilogy (after being put off by the prequels on TV) and now I’m obsessed. Finding out that Carrie had written a memoir (she’s actually written a second and had a third coming out later this year) meant I had to get hold of a copy, especially as I knew it spoke openly and honestly about her experiences with  mental illness as well. There’s many reasons why I adore Carrie Fisher and her humor and ability to be open about having Bipolar Disorder is just one of them, before this turns into a post gushing about how awesome Carrie Fisher is let’s get on with the review.

When I started reading Wishful Drinking, I knew barely anything about Carrie Fisher in fact I knew about 4 things. I knew she’d played Princess Leia, that she also had a mental illness, that she was hillarious and that she is in love with her dog Gary. I knew nothing about her addiction, that she was a fiction writer or that she had famous parents. Going into this mostly blind I was shocked and in awe of Carrie and her achievements. The fact that at 19 she was relatively unknown and went on to be such a huge star would mess with most peoples heads, couple that with the rather odd upbringing she had (including having Elizabeth Taylor as a stepmother) Carrie appears to have developed a thick skin and a brilliant sense of humor. I laughed and laughed.

The memoir has gotten a lot of negative reviews for being ‘too short’ or having a hectic structure. While I can see where other readers get this view I felt that this accurately portrayed what Carrie was saying, the narrative perfectly fit the voice. Also, I’ve now watched the show and seeing as this was a supplement for those who couldn’t see it personally I can understand its length. If you’d like to watch it as well as reading, there are some great clips on youtube to give you an idea of how she performed this on stage, I absolutely loved it and wished I could have seen it live.

I also praise this for Carrie’s honesty, it feels like there is nothing she hides from us. She’ll tell you about her absolute lowest points in life, about the addiction she faced and the love she has for her daughter, Billie. With that in mind Carrie is in no way self pitying, she laughs at the past, her family and the craziness that has been her life. She’ll remind you that sometimes she forgets things because the Electric Shock Therapy she has for Bipolar Disorder wipe out a good portion of her memory. She makes us remember not to take life too seriously.

I gave Wishful Drinking four stars ****. I really enjoyed this as a quick read and an insight into Carrie’s life before, during and after Star Wars. What I like most though, is Carrie’s humor and positivity. I know how awful life can get when you’re sick and how much more you appreciate life when you’re better and Carrie absolutely embodies that. I highly recommend Wishful Drinking for anyone who wants a quick and hilarious read.

My Top 10 books featuring Mental Health

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I love reading about mental health, I love characters who feel real to me who can educate others about all the different experiences. My Mum once asked me if it made me more depressed to read about others and it really doesn’t. On a bad day it might be a little bit more difficult but I’ll put the book down and do something else and go back later on. When I read these books I feel educated about other illnesses or other symptoms, I’m reminded that this is just a PART of a person, not everything about them and I feel comforted, like being in some kind of family of people who understand. One day I aim to write my own book about mental health, I have ideas for both fiction and nonfiction, but I’ll let you know more about that when I manage to start it! The books listed aren’t in any particular author but I loved them all and they each taught me something. Enjoy!

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The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath

As my regular readers know I absolutely adore Sylvia Plath, so much so I wrote my Undergraduate dissertation on her work (see here if you want to know more!). Plath is known as much for her suicide as her work, which is a sad fact. The Bell Jar, however, was focused on Plath’s younger life as a college student who’s confused to say the least and the impact this has on her mental health. Few novels have spoken to me in the way this one has, one of my ultimate favourites, written in a time where women couldn’t speak about mental illness, but Sylvia defied them all.

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Reasons to Stay Alive – Matt Haig

Haig’s book is recent but now well known. This book is for not only people living with a mental health condition but also for their loved ones. The tone of the book is refreshingly honest and open, imagining conversations between past and present self and really showing you that life is worth living, even if it tries to kick your butt. See my review here.

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Brave Girl Eating- Harriet Brown

Memoirs like this appear to be few and far between, while we’re used to reading memoirs from survivors of eating disorders it’s uncommon to read the perspective of the family around them. Brave Girl Eating is written by a mother who is watching her daughter starve herself to death, it’s about trying to understand and support her while dealing with her own emotions and caring for the rest of her family. An incredible book I could not recommend enough.

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It’s Kind of a Funny Story – Ned Vizzini

The first YA novel in this list, Vizzini really understood what he was writing about and how to portray it. The best thing about this novel is the way in which recovery was written about and how people hide their illness. Lovable characters and a great ending too. Read my review here.

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All of the Above – Juno Dawson

This novel really reminded me of the importance of friends in the face of mental illness. I’m a firm believer that having friends who have been mentally ill is one of the most precious things, having someone that understands and has been through what you’re going through is such a relief. Dawson takes us on a rollercoaster of emotions with this novel I laughed, I cried and I loved all of the characters. A definite must read.

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The Time In Between – Nancy Tucker

Nancy’s memoir of life with an eating disorder was both charming and fascinating. I also admired the fact that she refused to use numbers in the memoir, as she didn’t want it to encourage anyone else with an eating disorder, she is very mindful of this. The book goes through not only Nancy’s fight and recovery but also the reasons behind her eating disorder as she understands what they are. Wonderfully written and well thought out too.

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The Skeleton Cupboard – Tanya Byron

Another memoir that shows a fascinating perspective. We often forget that mental health professionals are people too. The novel follows the now well known Tanya Byron’s early years training to be a clinical psychologist dealing with the reason she chose this path, her patients, supervisors and the emotional hardships of doing this work. It made me really think of all the people working in mental health and appreciate all that they have to go through.

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The Illustrated Mum – Jacqueline Wilson

Wilson never shied away from dealing with difficult subjects in children’s novels. The Illustrated Mum was my first encounter with mental illness in literature, of course I didn’t really understand at the time but I just accepted that the Mum was poorly. That was that. The older I get I realise how heartbreaking this book was and how much it might help children with mentally ill parents to know they’re not alone. Dolphin and Star’s Mum has tattoos all over her body, a big temper and the girls manage as best as they can with her various moods, as an older reader I now understand that the Mum has Bipolar Disorder. These kind of books teach kids about different people and situations, I think Wilson’s books made me the empathic person I am today. Even as an adult this is worth a read.

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Wishful Drinking and Shockaholic – Carrie Fisher 

For my last two I have included Carrie Fisher’s memoirs. They’ve had mixed reviews on amazon and goodreads but personally I loved them. Carrie talks openly about shock therapy, the influence her childhood had and the life she lived alongside having undiagnosed bipolar disorder. The best part though is Carrie’s humor, I like it when people can still have humor talking about mental health, because we’re still people and it’s about knowing what’s appropriate. The only downside to these is that they’re short, I’d love to have known more BUT these were also used when Carrie went on tour with them so I understand. Either way for me humor is vital in defeating low days and Carrie certainly has a lot of it!

 

 

 

Book Review: Why Not Me? – Mindy Kaling

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“I am notorious for making impassioned speeches about things nobody cares about.”
― Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
Back again after first hilarious book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy Kaling has more advice to share with us mere mortals about how to get through life and how hers has changed between the two books. In her funny and honest awkward big sister style of writing Kaling has once again packed in a whole range of topics to keep you reading until the early hours.
After loving Mindy’s last book I asked for this and thankfully my boyfriend’s sister gave it to me on Christmas Eve nicely wrapped and I couldn’t wait to tear off the paper and fall into a funny book. There’s not doubt that Kaling has gone through some hardship in her life, she frequently reminds us of the chubby little indian girl she was growing up, but uses it to propel the humor and remind us readers that she’s not so different from us after all, despite her success.
There’s a load of different topics once again, although this time I found them to be put together a lot better and the book to just have a bit more of a flow than her first, which just shows that she’s growing as an author. With thoughts of Weddings, her feelings when her show was pulled (before it was later saved by Hulu), more hilarious boy stories, a day in the life of Mindy Kaling and thoughts about her own body it really is like talking to a, very excitable, friend. Hell, she even tells you what to bring to her dinner party, if only we were invited.
I found that this book was a lot more focused on her role as a writer and actress and it was interesting to hear her perspective on what it is like to work in television. It was also comforting to hear about the times when things didn’t go well or when she screwed things up, because as a 21 year old who’s about to graduate I needed to hear that it’s ok to not know what you’re going to do next. This was something that was touched upon in the first book but really comes alive and she shows you just how much hard work goes into making, writing and filming The Mindy Project.
I gave Why Not Me five stars *****. I honestly think it was an improvement on the much loved Is Everyone Hanging Out Without me, just because Mindy seems to have found her voice and rhythm as an author now, making it even easier and funnier to read. I’m going to be lending the two books out to a friend of mine in the next few weeks because I just feel like this a book that all young women should read, because Mindy show’s just how much hard work plays a part of success rather than luck. It might sound cheesy but it really does leave you thinking, Why Not Me?