What are you doing

What are you doing?!

Over the last week or so you might have seen the question: what are you doing? The whole thing kicked off after Forbes named Kylie Jenner the next self-made billionaire which was controversial at best. Then the New York Daily News but you this tweet.

What are you doing? Kylie Jenner

Yep, anyone else feel a little gut punch when they first read that? I did. Even if you don’t think about the enormous privilege that Kylie has there’s something not quite right with this. I take my hat off to her for making a business and being successful from that but it was just damn ridiculous to ask what we were doing with our lives. It adds to this idea that we should all be at the same level, that there is an ultimate goal and if you’re not there, then you’re a failure.

I used to have a plan for my life. I was going to graduate with a 1st, I was going to get married in my early 20s, have 2 children by the time I was 30 and a career I enjoyed. I had everything mapped out until I didn’t. Hell, as I write this I’ve got no idea what I’m doing. I’m not married, I don’t feel ready to have a baby any time soon, I don’t have the best selling novel or a big job. Does that mean I’m a failure? To people who changed their minds or had a life change, are they failures? In short, no.

In the age of social media, it’s easy to forget that we’re seeing people’s highlight reels. We might see these super successful 20-year-olds or our friends with a ‘perfect’ life. We don’t see the sacrifice, the late nights, the tears. We don’t see the days where you look and feel like shit, where you want to pack it all in. I know for a fact these successful, beautiful or brilliant people have days like that. They are human, as are we.

There is so much pressure on us to look perfect, to follow a certain path. What struck me about it is the stress I personally feel about timelines. I can bet most of you reading have felt this too! Each of us are doing something with our lives. For some of us, that means getting out of bed in the morning, for others it might be being creative, raising kids or working a job. We’re all living our lives in different ways and that’s what important.

I’d love to hear what you are up to, however big or small. Live your life, and screw what anyone else thinks.

 

 

 

Growing Up With Young Parents

Growing up with young parents

1996, I wish I was still as cute

Last night the internet finally got their answer to the Kylie Jenner mystery as she posted a message and video to announce the birth of her daughter. It was beautiful and made me tear up a little. Something struck me at the beginning. Her best friend Jordan reflecting on Kylie being 20 saying ‘When you’re 20 years old you’re figuring out your life…there was one thing your Mom knew for sure, and that was you’. It made me think about my own parents.

When I was born my Mum was 21 and my Dad had only just turned 22. They were in their early twenties and got engaged a few months before I was born.  Then there I was this little screaming baby that they were going to take care of, and take care of they did. I was a first child, first Grandchild, first Niece, I was so, so loved.

When I tell people how young my parents are, they seem shocked. A lot of people I know have parents who are 10 or more years older or the people I work with are the same age as my parents and can’t get their heads around it. The thing is it’s always just seemed normal to me, it is what it is.

The thing is I never felt I missed out by having younger parents. I had a pretty amazing childhood. I went to Disney land when I was little, I had lots of lovely toys. I always felt loved and encouraged in whatever I set out to do. I knew that I was my parents’ whole world, then I got a little sister when I was six and I just fell in love with her.

I’ve gotten into arguments with people before, those who were incredibly narrow-minded, about the fact that people can and should have children when they want to. I know people who’ve waited until their 30s, my best friend had my Goddaughter at 17. Everyone’s journey is different, who are we to judge?

I’m past the point of where my parents were when they had me, I won’t be a young parent just because my life is different and the world is different to what it was in 1994. I love having younger parents, I always have. It might not be the same as what my friends have but I wouldn’t change it for the world. My family is pretty cool.

Any other people from young parent families? Let me know in the comments below.