How I really felt after getting engaged

Real Talk: How I Felt After Getting Engaged

Hello lovelies,

I’ve started going back to basics and just writing my thoughts and feeling when I feel them – could be a good idea, could be a nightmare, who knows? I’ve been thinking about whether I should talk about getting married on the blog. Then I realised that this is my little chunk of the internet where I write about my life…so it makes sense.

ANYWAY back to the matter at hand. As you probably know, I got engaged a few weeks ago (post about it here if you missed it) which is exciting. Of course I was bouncing off the walls about the engagement, then people started talking about the wedding. A lot. I just wanted to live in the excited bubble of getting engaged!

Within a few hours of getting engaged I was asked whether we had a date…nope. Overnight all of my Facebook and Instagram ads had changed to be wedding ads. People I hadn’t spoken to in years were getting in touch. I was being asked about venues, guest lists, planning. AHHHHHHHHH.

In the two days that Ali and I were the only people who knew about the ring and upcoming engagement it was blissful. While I was happy people were excited, I felt so overwhelmed so quickly. And no one was asking Ali these questions…so I found myself feeling anxious and not being interested in wedding stuff.

Instead of being excited I avoided talking about it, I got stressed by numbers and how damn expensive this shit was. It’s one day? How can one day cost so much money! I tried to reason with people surely that would be better spent to have a marriage than a party?

I think this is something people don’t talk about. I’m excited to marry Ali but the actual wedding? It’s overwhelming when so many people are interested and I feel like I have so much to do. Then after a few conversations and a few breathers I realised this is about us. This isn’t about anyone else.

So, I am going to be updating on this wedding thing and how we’re getting on and I need to bloody relax while doing it.

Life Update: I’m Getting Married!

Hello, lovelies!

I have been a little quiet on social media the first part of the week and that’s because I was keeping a secret and I didn’t trust myself not to spill the beans because…I’M GETTING MARRIED! Yep, that’s right this girl is going to be a Mrs.

If you’re interested in the details then read on, if you’re just here for the news, thank you!

As my regular readers know Ali and I have been together for 10 years after we met at school. We’ve spoken before about getting engaged and married but it wasn’t a rush. Lately, we’ve been talking about it more and so I hoped it might happen soon.

On Monday, we met our friends Ed and Emmi for lunch and a catch-up – no mention of getting engaged, nothing. While walking around Emmi and I looked at rings, half joking half serious aaaaand something weird happened. Ali was actually talking to me about which ones he likes, which ones I like. We looked at a lot of shops.

Then came the last shop, coincidently where we bought my necklace for my 18th birthday and had a browse. While looking, our friend Ed nudged the sales assistant to show us the engagement rings. I don’t know why but I started to freak out? Damn this was just looking right? RIGHT?

Then Ali asked to look at the two we both liked. We ended up choosing one while internally I was trying to work out what the hell was going on. Were we engaged now? The ring would take a few days to be delivered to our home, I was sworn to secrecy until it arrived and then I was asked…

LONGEST TWO DAYS EVER.

I avoided everyone, I didn’t trust myself and although I didn’t know when I’d be asked I thought it might be a good idea to go and get my nails done and then, after a day of teasing on Wednesday night Ali asked me to marry him.

I’m going to be his wife?! Which is crazy. We waited to tell all of our family and close friends before the rest of the world and I’ve just been blown away by how loved we are. People I haven’t spoken to since school got in contact saying they’d been waiting to see this. Work colleagues, people from uni. As I write this I’ve had over 300 Twitter likes which is insane?!

So, yeah, I’m getting married. I’m pretty excited and my fiancè is pretty cute.

One of my best friends is getting married!!!

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This weekend I got the amazing news that my best friend is going to be getting married!! Yes, my fellow long term relationship friend got proposed to this weekend. Amy and Peter are a truly brilliant couple and I have been doing nothing but smiling since I got the message and started screaming and laughing with excitement in the middle of Wimbledon station with Daniela…I’m pretty sure people thought we were having some kind of break down.

When your best friend gets engaged a lot of people tell you that you’ll have this wave of jealousy, this ‘why isn’t it me’ reaction but I can honestly say I haven’t. My smile has been as wide as it’s ever been and as soon as I could I went to buy an engagement card, started thinking of things I could get them as wedding gifts and any way that I could possibly help Amy.

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I can’t wait to celebrate with these two (sorry for pinching your picture Peter), who truly are meant for each other and have given childhood sweethearts another happy ending. Now let the celebrations, crazy planning and good times continue, I can’t wait to see them say ‘I do’.

Congratulations Amy and Peter!!!!

Milestones

I’ve been thinking lately about milestones. I don’t know what it was exactly but I’m guessing it’s a combination of turning 21 (which I don’t understand why it’s a big deal in the UK), seeing more and more of the people I went to school with having children and getting engaged and a lot of my other friends graduating, starting careers and all that jazz. To put it simply milestones freak me out, I’m sure they do for most people. You’re supposed to do this, do that at a certain age, a certain time. For girls there’s a choice between being a mother and being a career woman, because we’re told we can’t have it all.

In some ways I’m lucky, I found the love of my life when I was 13 years old and we live together. Now we’re more than happy together, we’re both doing degrees we love and have careers that we want, but for everyone else it’s not enough. Everyone asks me when we’ll get married, when we’ll have a baby (never if). I just feel a bit stuck and part of that is because I am a woman. Ali NEVER gets asked when he’ll be a father, he’s asked about his job and what he’s going to do for work, it’s all pretty frustrating. I know that I’m an intelligent woman and I have big aspirations, so why do people ask about these ‘traditional’ things.

I’m in no way saying that people my age shouldn’t be married or have children, most of the women in my family had babies by the time they were my age and they’ve all taught me so much. My best friend became a mother at 17 and she’s one of the most awesome ones I know.The thing is my dream right now is walking across that stage to pick up my degree, being able to treat myself with money I’ve earnt and being happy. I will have children, I’d love to be a mum at some point but I wish people would understand there is so much more to me than the fact I can grow a human. I liked this picture below, it definitely made me smile.

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This isn’t an anti-children post, which is how some will read it, it’s just a frustration that sometimes I’m judged by these milestones when I have other amazing things going on. I hate that I have to think about body clocks and all that crap when I’m trying to plan things out about where I want to be in my life, because I’ve been bombarded with media listing risks and problems. Like I said why am I even thinking about this as a twenty year old!

I appreciate that this post might not make much sense, I don’t even know if it does to me, but I can’t be the only one who feels like this. Who knows how I’ll feel in a month, a year or ten but I just want it to be on my own terms, not because of supposed milestones and other people’s ideas of what happiness is.