Tag: chronic pain

5 Things You Should Know About Living With Chronic Pain

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Recently I asked on Twitter if people would be interested in some posts about living with pain. I get asked all the time how it feels, what I do, how I still do so much so here are a few posts about it starting with things you should know.

Chronic pain (although apparently it’s now being relabeled as persistent pain) is classed as being in pain for more than 3 months. It can happen for a variety of reasons and impacts everyone differently. For me, mine was triggered by a horse riding accident when I was 20, in which, I broke part of my spine and damaged the surrounding area. I’ve been living and dealing with this for three years and there are some things I’d love people to know.

We can still do a lot, so ask us! 

Things change and it’s hard to know how what and how your friend or family member can do but you should still ask! Even if we can’t go, being asked is still important. There might even be a way around it!

It’s a case of good and day days 

As with most things, there are good pain days and bad pain days. It’s all about taking it one day at a time and seeing how things pan out. Sometimes we might be a bit quieter or sharper, it might not happen very often but it’s worthwhile keeping this in mind.

We’re still the people we were! 

Chronic pain might change a few things but not the person themselves. They’re still the person you know and love. Their humour wasn’t taken away, nor was their personality! No one wants to be treated differently for something they can’t control.

Being in pain is exhausting so don’t feel like your friends don’t want to see you. 

Honestly, on a bad pain day, it can completely wear you out. I work full time so if I am aching the last thing I want to do is have to go out after work. All I really need is a bath, some comfy PJs and an early night, it’s nothing personal!

There’s a lot of guilt and loss 

For some chronic pain is permanent there can be feelings of loss, for the things you may have had to give up (for me it was riding) and guilt for the things you might not be able to do or things you might not be able to go to! I can’t go out dancing all night like I used to, for example, not a life or death situation but it sucks all the same.

 

Is there anything you wish people knew about chronic pain or do you have any questions? Let me know in the comments below!

Spine Update! November 2016

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Depending on how long you’ve been reading my blog/following me on Twitter you may or may not know that back in 2015 I fell off a horse and broke part of my spine (vertebrae T12 to be exact) and damaged other parts of it. It’s been a long 18 months with a lot of pain, scans, x-rays, physiotherapy, wheelchairs, crutches and walking very, very slowly. There wasn’t any part of my life that wasn’t impacted by the accident, I spent a lot of time (longer than I should have been) on maximum strength painkillers and spent almost 2 months in this wonderful contraption…

 

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I documented on here and on Twitter whenever I could what it was like living with my spinal injury. I learnt a lot from it and it gave me a bigger appreciation for not only being able to walk but life in general. That said, it is frustrating and the pain was indescribable and is still a huge part of my life today. BUT! I finally have some good news to share.

Last week I attended a clinic called Hampshire Backs to see a back specialist. I’d waited since September for this appointment and had an MRI (I was stuck in the machine for an hour!) determined that something would happen this time after seeing endless doctors, consultants and surgeons only for them to shrug their shoulders. My new consultant is brilliant, I’ve seen the scans and my break is fully healed, as is the damage to other parts of my spine, my nerves are clear of disruption and my spinal chord is good. All the majors were ok! We then went to on a physical examination, one that’s almost routine to me now, it took him a small amount of time to work out what was going on.

Due to the fact I’ve tried almost all the options that I have been able to at this point, including a year of physiotherapy, we were going to the next step. At some point next year I’m going into hospital to have a procedure, during which I’ll be asleep while a mix of steroids and anaesthetic will be placed in to the joints in the base of my spine. The hope is that this will give me relief, meaning I can build up muscle before it wears off and hopefully that will help the pain. IF this works then there will be talk of further procedures, if not…well we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I won’t lie to you, I’m terrified of going to sleep and having people stick things into my spine but I also have a new found hope. This could be the start of me not living in constant pain and worry. I’m going forward and trying to be positive about this.

Living with Chronic Pain

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For the past year and a half I’ve been living with moderate to severe back pain. By definition this now means that I’m living with chronic pain, there’s no break from it, no rest , it’s just a constant part of my life. Living with chronic pain is not something that anyone chooses, in my case, it was because of an injury. We’re still not sure about the damage, I’m booked in to see another specialist and have another MRI scheduled.

I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again, it’s all about good days and bad days, as many illnesses are. On a good day, I might be able to do a light workout, walk around and the pain is just background noise. On a bad day, it’s like someone is hammering on my spine, the smallest things will hurt and climbing stairs can feel like Everest and when it’s at its worst I can’t feel much in one leg. I might have to take a crutch when I go to an event. I take my medication but it doesn’t even skim the surface, to say that it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But what’s it like to live with chronic pain? Well, it’s definitely not fun, but I’m always aware that my injury could have been much worse. I’m walking, when I was incredibly close to losing that all together. So I’m always aware of that but living with chronic pain means a lot of doctors appointments, a lot of tiring discussion, repeating yourself, physio and medication change after medication change. It’s not pretty, but for a lot of us, it’s just life.

Some people might not understand why I’m broadcasting this, why I’m letting myself possibly look weak. I don’t think that’s it though. I don’t think anyone who keeps fighting is weak and that’s what people with chronic pain do. We go to work, we live our lives the best we can, we just get on with it and that’s the simple truth of living with a chronic illness. Even when the pain is the worst it can be we carry on as best we can. That is what living with chronic pains is like.

Sunday 7 – 7 Things I’ve Learnt Since Breaking My Spine

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I’ve been feeling fairly emotional in the last few weeks about today. It’s been one year since breaking my spine and I just feel kind of weird about it. I broke down in tears after a particularly bad pain day, because I’m still in all this pain a year later. I just felt so fed up but then I had a hug with Ali and he reminded me of what I’ve been saying to myself for the past 12 months. I may be in pain but I’m still here and I’m still walking. What happened to me was bad enough but it could have been a lot worse! I’ve also really grown as a person in the past year, my opinion on life has changed and I’m truly grateful. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that I’m glad it happened, it changed a lot and I didn’t have the best year BUT I am really proud of myself, how I’ve reacted and what I’ve learnt.

You can have all the ridged plans you want, but life doesn’t work that way.

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Before the accident, I had a plan of how my life would go and it would go that way. I was like I’ll graduate then and I’ll go straight to my masters, then my Phd. I’ll have a house by this time, a dog, a child, another child, I WILL HAVE CONTROL. I learnt after the accident that life can throw ANYTHING at you, there was a point where I physically couldn’t walk. Of course, I didn’t plan that, no one plans almost losing the ability to walk. It made me realise that I can’t have this idea of infinite control, so I’ve let go a little. Things will happen as they do, I only have so much control.

Stop being so hard on yourself! 

Recovery was hard, super hard. I constantly get told by my physiotherapists, pain specialists, lecturers, family, Ali that I need to stop being so hard on myself. They’d remind me all the time this wasn’t a small break, this was a huge part of my body trying to fix itself. So what if I put on weight, if I didn’t get the top grade in my class. I realised striving to be great is good but I don’t have to be perfect all the time.

The human body is a beautiful and amazing thing.

For a long time after the accident and sometimes still now I resented my body. I hated that it had broken in such a simple fall, I hated the stretch marks that had bloomed all over my thighs, I hated the fact people commented on how much weight I’d put on and I hated that I didn’t fit into any of my clothes. I had a realisation at a point that I just thought my body has been doing so much work. It’s literally been healing the main pillar in my body that hold everything together, that’s amazing.

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When you’re sick enough, you can cope with your hatred of needles/hospitals/ claustrophobia. 

I still hate needles, I will always hate needles BUT when you’re sick enough (like when I was in the hospital earlier in the year) you get on with it. I still don’t like hospitals (who does) but now it’s just another place I have to go sometimes. I won’t lie having my MRI and CT scans were pretty nerve wracking and claustrophobic but the people running them understood that. Basically you can get through a lot more than you think you can.

The gym is better than any therapy session and any religion. 

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If you’d have asked me a year ago about loving the gym I would have laughed at you, now I’m stressed when I CAN’T go. The gym is a love and an obsession and I can’t wait to get back into routine and slowly keep building my muscles and be in so much better shape than I was a year ago.

It’s ok to have days where it all feels like too much. 

You’re only human, you need these days, it’s okay!

The people who stick around are the ones that are meant to be there. 

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My relationships changed a lot after the accident, I lost a lot of people and I gained some others. More than anything I learnt that the people that are meant to be there will be. I also learnt that some people are in your life for a certain amount of time and that’s okay too. I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason.