Growing Up With Young Parents

Growing up with young parents

1996, I wish I was still as cute

Last night the internet finally got their answer to the Kylie Jenner mystery as she posted a message and video to announce the birth of her daughter. It was beautiful and made me tear up a little. Something struck me at the beginning. Her best friend Jordan reflecting on Kylie being 20 saying ‘When you’re 20 years old you’re figuring out your life…there was one thing your Mom knew for sure, and that was you’. It made me think about my own parents.

When I was born my Mum was 21 and my Dad had only just turned 22. They were in their early twenties and got engaged a few months before I was born.  Then there I was this little screaming baby that they were going to take care of, and take care of they did. I was a first child, first Grandchild, first Niece, I was so, so loved.

When I tell people how young my parents are, they seem shocked. A lot of people I know have parents who are 10 or more years older or the people I work with are the same age as my parents and can’t get their heads around it. The thing is it’s always just seemed normal to me, it is what it is.

The thing is I never felt I missed out by having younger parents. I had a pretty amazing childhood. I went to Disney land when I was little, I had lots of lovely toys. I always felt loved and encouraged in whatever I set out to do. I knew that I was my parents’ whole world, then I got a little sister when I was six and I just fell in love with her.

I’ve gotten into arguments with people before, those who were incredibly narrow-minded, about the fact that people can and should have children when they want to. I know people who’ve waited until their 30s, my best friend had my Goddaughter at 17. Everyone’s journey is different, who are we to judge?

I’m past the point of where my parents were when they had me, I won’t be a young parent just because my life is different and the world is different to what it was in 1994. I love having younger parents, I always have. It might not be the same as what my friends have but I wouldn’t change it for the world. My family is pretty cool.

Any other people from young parent families? Let me know in the comments below.

Milestones

I’ve been thinking lately about milestones. I don’t know what it was exactly but I’m guessing it’s a combination of turning 21 (which I don’t understand why it’s a big deal in the UK), seeing more and more of the people I went to school with having children and getting engaged and a lot of my other friends graduating, starting careers and all that jazz. To put it simply milestones freak me out, I’m sure they do for most people. You’re supposed to do this, do that at a certain age, a certain time. For girls there’s a choice between being a mother and being a career woman, because we’re told we can’t have it all.

In some ways I’m lucky, I found the love of my life when I was 13 years old and we live together. Now we’re more than happy together, we’re both doing degrees we love and have careers that we want, but for everyone else it’s not enough. Everyone asks me when we’ll get married, when we’ll have a baby (never if). I just feel a bit stuck and part of that is because I am a woman. Ali NEVER gets asked when he’ll be a father, he’s asked about his job and what he’s going to do for work, it’s all pretty frustrating. I know that I’m an intelligent woman and I have big aspirations, so why do people ask about these ‘traditional’ things.

I’m in no way saying that people my age shouldn’t be married or have children, most of the women in my family had babies by the time they were my age and they’ve all taught me so much. My best friend became a mother at 17 and she’s one of the most awesome ones I know.The thing is my dream right now is walking across that stage to pick up my degree, being able to treat myself with money I’ve earnt and being happy. I will have children, I’d love to be a mum at some point but I wish people would understand there is so much more to me than the fact I can grow a human. I liked this picture below, it definitely made me smile.

0fa7ea56c0067b3e8747a2011f376ee1

This isn’t an anti-children post, which is how some will read it, it’s just a frustration that sometimes I’m judged by these milestones when I have other amazing things going on. I hate that I have to think about body clocks and all that crap when I’m trying to plan things out about where I want to be in my life, because I’ve been bombarded with media listing risks and problems. Like I said why am I even thinking about this as a twenty year old!

I appreciate that this post might not make much sense, I don’t even know if it does to me, but I can’t be the only one who feels like this. Who knows how I’ll feel in a month, a year or ten but I just want it to be on my own terms, not because of supposed milestones and other people’s ideas of what happiness is.