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Book Review: Thirteen Reasons Why – Jay Asher

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‘You can’t stop the future. 

You can’t rewind the past.

The only way to learn the secret…is to press play’

Clay is an ordinary guy, like a lot of other people in the school when he hears about Hannah Baker’s death he feels something, but what he doesn’t know is that Hannah has plans for him. After a box of tapes arrive addressed to him he can’t quite believe it when Hannah’s voice comes through the speakers, explaining that if he listens long enough he’ll know why he is one of the thirteen reasons.

This book has been on my to read list for a really long time, I finally got around to picking it up and was told after I wouldn’t regret reading it. I don’t, but I also don’t think it deserves all the hype. It’s an intriguing read and a great idea but there were some holes in the plot that just didn’t make it believable. As for the characters, I thought that Clay was just, a bit boring really, we don’t really know anything about him other than he’s a ‘nice guy’, there could have been more background about him and who he was. Hannah was different, while at first I couldn’t really understand her character, she grew on me and got a place in my heart. When I got to the end I wanted to cry, because at some points I knew how she felt, school can be a heartless place.

I think it did highlight the sheer loneliness that can be caused by rumors. Hannah, like Margo from Paper Towns, is a kind of enigma. Nobody really knows her, they just know the idea of her. These tapes, recorded before she killed herself, are the only way to know anything about Hannah, because there was no other way after everything that had happened. It also seemed to me like she could have been saved and maybe that’s the tragedy in all of it, that I’m sure if the right person had noticed she could have lived. That said, it’s easier said than done and I fully appreciate that.

To review this book is to have to make my way through a minefield of potential spoilers and connections that I don’t want to spoil for you, I do think you could have seen some of them coming though just because of the nature of the book.

I’ve given this novel three stars ***, it’s not because it’s bad, it’s a perfectly ok read but for it it really was just ok. I feel like there are better and much deeper stories that can explain what can lead a person to suicide. On the other hand I really appreciate the way Hannah’s loneliness is expressed, she’s a complex character and I definitely think that the book could have been longer. It’s that little bit more detail that I think is lacking in this to make it a great story rather than just a good one.

Review by Chloe Metzger

I just need to say if you are at a low point and considering suicide, please, please speak to someone. Your life is worth it, I promise ❤

Hello September! Welcome to third year!

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I’ve made it! I’m slightly slower than I was last year but I can’t believe that this month I will be starting the third and final year of my undergraduate degree! It’s absolutely crazy that I’m at the last chapter already, people used to tell me it would fly by and I rarely believed them, but I should have. I’m excited and terrified to be getting back to uni at the end of the month, but that’s not the only reason I should be excited that it’s finally September, oh no! This month is going to be incredible and I’m almost climbing the walls that so many positive things are starting this month such as –

  • I’m going to Amsterdam in 5 days! Yes I’m finally getting to do my little bit of travelling with Amy and Dani as my birthday treat to myself. I’m going to be a dork and go to a load of museums and galleries as well as the Anne Frank House, which is what I wanted to visit since I was a little girl!
  • I’m running my own Freshers Fair stall. This year I won’t be aimlessly walking around finding something to sign up to, I’ll be trying to make sure people join the horse riding society! Although I probably won’t be able to ride for the whole of the academic year it’ll be great to help others enjoy the sport.
  • Not as exciting but I’ll get to see a Neurosurgeon this month to have a spine check up and hopefully some good news
  • It’s soon going to be my FAVOURITE season, Autumn, bring on the hats, scarves and Hot Chocolate!
  • I’m playing Freshers! Yes! This week we were asked to play a show at The Fighting Cocks in Kingston during freshers week, hopefully it’ll be super busy and a great night to play!
  • I finally get some kind of routine back! It’s been quite difficult this summer without a routine, so I’m hoping that my mood will go back up again once I’m around people and have a schedule.
  • Oh and just to mention IT’S MY 21ST BIRTHDAY THIS MONTH!!!! I’m so excited to finally be hitting 21 and have some great things planned as well as a night out with some of my best friends 🙂
  • I finally get to go back to uni. After having 6 months off of lectures I am 100% ready to get back to studying, I’ve actually kind of missed it over the summer and I’ll be applying for my masters soon, Eek!
  • It’s the Rugby World Cup ❤

As you can all see September is going to be an absolute blast! I’m so excited that it’s finally here and I’m going to be enjoying every minute of it! I want to take the chance to say thank you to you all for reading alongside my time at uni and assure you that just because I’m in my last year of undergrad does not mean the blog will be finishing!! I have a lot of great ideas ahead!

I have a crush on Amy Schumer

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A few weeks ago I went to see the incredible Trainwreck and it was my first time watching Amy Schumer doing her thing. I’ve spent the evening watching her stand up and I think I definitely have a crush on Amy, she’s funny, she’s real and she’s frank about sex and being a woman. Is she offensive? Yes. But she likes to make people feel uncomfortable with comedy, it gets them talking and thinking and if they’re outraged then that’s fine, because I dare you to find a comedian who’s never offended anybody ever. That’s right, you can’t.

Now I can’t claim that I relate to Amy on the whole single girl, slutty, partying thing but on most other things I can laugh along and understand. It also pisses me off when people say she’s ‘funny for a woman’ I mean really? I didn’t know that having a penis was a requirement to be funny. I love funny women Amy, Sarah Millican, Miranda Hart (although I don’t like her routine she’s made me laugh occasionally), Emma Blackerry. I also love that they swear (uh oh, you’re all thinking here goes Chloe’s rant).

Now, here’s the thing. Imagine me, on stage, playing a show which has mostly guys performing and there’s me all short and cute and shit. I go on stage after guys and I can hold my own, I can say fuck too! But because I’m a girl I still get told to ‘be more ladylike on stage’, in fact a few people I used to hang around with came to a show recently and got all high and mighty because I occasionally swear on stage. It’s not like every other word is swearing but they were all ‘ woaaaaah act like a girl’, to which I replied fuck off.

It’s one of the best things about Amy, she does swear and talk about sex in her routines. She’s not all prim, proper and ladylike. The thing with women like her is people think they’re incapable of being polite and not swearing, people assume the same about me, but guess what? This whole persona is one part of a person and generally when it’s appropriate. I don’t go and drop an f-bomb when I’m with my grandparents or when I’m giving a mental health speech? I don’t make sex jokes or call people dicks at work. There’s a difference between funny and stupid…most of the time anyway.

What have I done this summer?

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the expectations of summer today and for the past few weeks. As we creep closer to September and the evenings start getting darker that little bit earlier summer is scampering away before our very eyes. While I was lying on the bed at my appointment yesterday, as my physio was telling me to slow down and not push the muscles too hard something in me snapped. NO! I wanted to scream in my head, No I’m done, I want a summer do over, I want to go and explore the world and write books and go all over London. Just give me a do over. But I was sat slowly trying to pull my knees towards my chest and having my reflexes checked every week to make sure that I wasn’t getting worse. I was waiting on doctors appointments and adjusting medication levels every few weeks. What the hell was I going to say once I got back to uni?

Almost on queue my anxiety  kicked in today, with a days of depressive thoughts too. What if everyone just ignored me when I couldn’t keep up or go on nights out properly? What if I just sat in the corner while everyone talked about how awesome their summer plans were and how they were glad they spent their last summer before graduating having fun and being young? All I could say was that I fractured my spine, got to go in an ambulance and slept a lot.

So I got sad, got angry, and tried to convince myself getting out of bed and getting dressed was going to be a good move. I threw on some clothes after a while and scraped back my hair, intending to take some pictures of Kingston in the sun. The short story is that it didn’t happen, the long version includes a lot of muscle spasms and swearing. So I moped even more and did housework. Now I bet you’re thinking why do I want to read her moaning about life being sucky, WAIT, this bits almost over, I promise.

I thought the words, what have I done this summer? After waves of negativity I had a lightbulb moment, I managed to get my spine to heal back together. I realised how awesome and amazing my body had been this summer. I might not have done anything that other people I know will have done like a trip to Australia or going to Reading Fest, but my body has managed to piece itself back together and escape never being able to use my legs again.

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I realised that it was pretty awesome that I’ve gone from needing help to get out of bed, to walk even the tiniest bit and helped out of the bath every time (now it’s not as often) to having the independence to go to work and my physio appointments without everyone being anxious about it. I’ve learnt to deal with doctors and have a love for nurses. I’ve learnt that I can handle levels of pain I wouldn’t imagine and that if my determination ever needed testing this would do it. I didn’t back down on going to Athens or performing at Basingstoke Live, as people keep telling me I’ve been pretty bad ass.

I still have a long way to go, more appointments, more physio and having to adjust my plans but your body healing itself is a pretty awesome thing and it even makes me forgive the stretch marks that have caused me so much upset lately. Even with all that and the chance I’ll never be able to ride again/ it will be too much of a risk, the experience has made me grow, as cheesy as it sounds. I’ve picked myself up from lows I never thought I’d have and I’ve seen the beauty in the people around me.

So that’s what I’ve done this summer, how about you?

Book Review: It’s Kind Of A Funny Story – Ned Vizzini

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“Sometimes I just think depression’s one way of coping with the world. Like, some people get drunk, some people do drugs, some people get depressed. Because there’s so much stuff out there that you have to do something to deal with it.”

Craig has a good life, he goes to a top school in New York, has a loving family and a good group of friends. Craig is also depressed. After deciding he doesn’t want or need to take his medication any more, a few nights later he decides that he’s going to kill himself. But something stops him that night and he finds himself checking into a psychiatric ward and into a completely new world. To get better a lot has to change and Craig has to get to know himself.

There are books in life that somehow just explain your life. They make you feel like you’re not alone and you’re not as crazy as you thought you were. For me, It’s Kind of a funny story was like that. I’ve only ever read one other book that understood how I felt was The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. You see, Vizzini’s main character Craig is a perfectionist, he wants success and if one thing goes wrong he spirals he starts to ‘cycle’ which, if you’ve never experienced it is a bad thing. Thoughts keep coming and coming until you can’t think straight,sometimes you feel like you can’t breathe. His high ambition and determination takes over his life to the point that the majority of his cycles are about the work he’s going (or lack of it).

A few people have criticised some of the actions of the teenagers on the ward and I’ll admit that, at first, I was sceptical and thought could things like this really happen? Then I remembered I was reading about teenagers, and I think that’s something you have to keep in mind while reading this novel. Craig isn’t an adult and while some of the things he struggles with might be hard to understand as an adult I can fully remember these feelings and emotions as a teenager myself.

I can fully praise this novel for its portrayal of what it’s like to have a mental illness as a teenager and also for reiterating that you should never just stop taking your medication. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to read something and just feel every bit of what the character is going through; the anxiety, the need to achieve, thinking that you can handle everything when in fact you’re only slightly getting better and last but not least finding a creative way to release all the frustrations. The reason that Vizzini can write this so well is because he himself has lived it. Like Plath’s novel, Vizzini’s is semi autobiographical; he was in a mental health unit as a teenager. On a personal level, I don’t think that experience ever truly leaves you. I’m inspired by him and incredibly saddened to learn that he took his own life a few years ago.

I want to give this novel five stars *****. This really is something else, not only is there a positive portrayal of young people with mental health conditions but also of teenagers in general. Craig does nothing wrong except try, and I think that’s more common than a lot of people realise. People with mental health problems can have a perfectionist side, which without help can take over, I certainly know mine does. I want everyone to read this because it is amazing, educational and I found that it really gave me some hope and someone to connect with. Go and pick a copy up now!

Review by Chloe Metzger

Who’s that girl?

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Who’s that girl I see looking at me from a magazine? She’s perfect, she has flawless skin, bright eyes and not a hair out of place, she’s thin, there are no hips, no cellulite, although despite her skinny frame her breasts are fantastic. She’s not real. Tonight I spent a good amount of time watching the above and this afternoon I was reading my normal monthly set of women’s magazines.

Now I’m not going to use this article to bash women’s magazines because I know some who really do support women, although I can’t claim to understand some of the articles. I do have a problem with advertising, because it promotes an image that none of us can achieve. I’ve said many times on this blog that I’m not always happy with my body, especially as of late. I fractured my spine, I put on some weight and I wish I could say so what but I’m surrounded by images of thin and beautiful women.

I’m not saying we ban an idea of beauty, I mean who hasn’t used a good filter on Instagram? Or been happy with a little touch up here and there? Of course we do. I also want you to think about any time you’ve felt a little bit sad looking at pictures or thought I wish I looked like that, because I know that as an impressionable teenager I had these fleeting thoughts but they wouldn’t damage me right? Wrong. In part these images added to my feelings of self consciousness and comparing myself to other women.

In the video about I heard about young women who took on teen magazines to limit the use of photoshop. This gives me so much joy and hope. At that age you don’t always know that these images aren’t real, that you can’t look like that. I remember posing like Paris Hilton (I was a young teenager, and it was the early 2000s, give me a break) in a holiday snap to try and look thinner…I wasn’t fat to begin with. Children and young people are very impressionable, especially as you hit the teenage years your body is doing things you have no control over, your spotty or greasy or whatever.

Now for most of us who are bullied and teased we grow up and shed that awkwardness, even just a little, but at the same time we didn’t have the glare of social media. I just want to educate young girls that this isn’t real and at the same time. I want the media to stop sexualising everything they can, to not cut a model like a pumpkin, carving what they want out of you.

Just preparing for a project I’m going to do and looking at the words used in women’s magazines and they’re almost as responsible as the pictures. I want to do something positive. I want to shout it for the roof tops as I remind my little sister that she is the most naturally beautiful person I know and my little cousin that just because we’re a different shape to my sister doesn’t mean were not beautiful too. I want to make people not feel ashamed to wear makeup or want to get fitter but to know that there are so many different types of perfect and not just the models in a magazine.

What I’m reading: August Bookhaul!

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Hello to my lovely readers! It’s time for this months book haul and this month it’s more than my normal six books because I won an amazon voucher for some writing I did for Endsleigh Student Insurance company!

This months books are a mix of shop bought, reccommendations and a few on the amazon 3 for £10 offer that I am in love with. So here we go!

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Pretty Think – Jennifer Nadel 

This was one of my recent finds in the YA section at Waterstone’s it was tucked away but immediately got my attention. A teenage girl, an older man and attacks happening around town? Count me in.

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The Tiny Wife – Andrew Kaufman 

Another one of my wandering finds as I was looking for another one of Kaufman’s book (which I’ll talk about later) the plot sounded weird and wacky and the Tiny Wife is one of many characters in this book. It’s really short and I’m very excited!

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Never Always Sometimes – Adi Alsaid 

This was recommended to me by my friend Becky who I met at book club. It’s a typical boy/girl YA read by the looks of things and I’ve already started it. It’s not as exciting as I hoped for but I still have a fair bit of it left so hopefully it will pick up!

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All my friends are superheroes – Andrew Kaufman

Just the title of this grabbed me, I read it in one sitting the day I bought it and I am SO glad that I picked it up! There are awesome illustrations, great original ideas and I’d happily read this again. This is the special 10th anniversary edition with more superheroes in it, I’d recommend paying the extra!

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Hope in a Ballet Shoe -Michaela and Elaine DePrince

I love stories of going against the odds and winning, I suppose they speak to me on a personal level. I’d been looking at this book for a while, so when I saw it on 3 for £10 I had to get it. I’m really hoping this will be a great memoir.

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Yes Please – Amy Poehler

I haven’t watched a lot of Amy Poehler, but from what I have she’s funny. Funny is good. Last month I chose to read Lena Dunhams Not that kind of girl instead of this. It was awful so this month I decided to give Yes Please a go. I hope it’s better, a lot better.

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How I Lost You – Jenny Blackhurst 

I had to have a thriller in there didn’t I! I love these kinds of novels, a little dark, a lot of secrets. The main character was charged with murdering her baby son and sent to a psychiatric hospital, but what if they lied? I’m sure I’ll be up all hours reading this.

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Extraordinary Means – Robyn Schneider 

Another YA novel, this time about a sick teen who gets sent to boarding school, he believes to die. Then he meets some trickster loving friends. This novel has a big of a TFIOS feel about it but with less love and more laughs, I hope I’m right!

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The Day We Disappeared – Lucy Robinson

A chance buy on this one, two women running away from something the reader doesn’t know about. Sounds interesting and some good reviews!

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Bad Feminist (A Collection of essays)  – Roxane Gay

I watched Roxane Gay’s Ted Talk about this collection and ever since I’ve had to read it. It just spoke to me, this things she mentioned I found myself nodding along with and after just reading the introduction I’m already excited because this seems like someone who really knows what she’s talking about, especially as a young woman. I’m so excited about this one!

These are my 10 books for this month and I’m planning to get through all of them by the end of the month. Have any of you read these or would you like to read them, let me know!!

On the topic of books, my reviews are every Thursday with the following for the rest of the month:

20th – It’s Kind of a Funny Story

27th- The Fever

3rd (September) – 15 Reasons Why

10th – We are completely beside ourselves

17th – Suicide Notes From Beautiful Girls  

7 years, 7 facts

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I’ve been lucky enough to spend the past 7 years with a wonderful human called Ali 🙂 He features in my posts quite a lot so for our anniversary I thought I’d put together 10 random facts about us! Oh and dont forget the cute  embarrassing pictures to go with each of them! I promise this won’t be too sickly sweet!

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Fact 1: We’re in a band together! Yes, Ali is one of the members of No People Club. We write a lot of songs together and have been in various bands together for the past few years. Before I was ever in a band with him I used to help out with his band at school.

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Fact 2: We’re both perfectionists in very different ways. Ali will spend hours over a mix (he’s training to be a sound engineer), like I will an assignment. If we both have something to do in the same week it can get a little tense.

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Fact 3: I have never and hopefully will never see Paramore without Ali. We both absolutely LOVE the band and have been to a show every time we’ve known about it. This is a picture of us from our first Paramore show in 2010!

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Fact 4: There is no shame in this relationship. One of the pros and cons of being together since we were young teenagers is that we’ve seen each other go through the awkward teenage years, there’s not much left to be embarrassed about. 406334_10150721436408206_1359220205_n

Fact 5: I’m the crazy one, he’s the quiet one.

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Fact 6: There was a huge group of us who would count down for Ali’s house parties when we were teenagers. They were awesome with the best memories we could make(some of which I can’t share on here because they’re pretty awesome but we would not like to reach the parents of the people that went). It was like a classic ‘high school’ american party but with better music and ordering domino’s pizza. The picture is of us from his 16th birthday party.

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Fact 6: After getting me to look into uni, Ali then had a gap year so we could start at the same time, even though at that point we weren’t sure if we were going to the same uni.

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Fact 7: Ali missed his prom, instead he say at home with me (I was a year too young to go)  watching TV, building lego and eating pizza before going to a friends afterparty. He was the first person I told when I got accepted.

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Happy Anniversary Ali, I love you! 

P.S I’m totally not sorry that I posted these pictures, you’re welcome 😛 

My First Book Club!

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Yesterday was a busy day, after spending most of the day in the office at Kingston Hill working on The Student Room for results day I was pretty exhausted by the evening. I could have easily gone home, microwaved something and curled up in bed but I’d been looking forward to my first Young Adult Book Club all month talking about Ned Vizzini’s It’s Kind of a Funny Story which is next Thursday’s review. Book Club is something I’ve never done before and after missing out last month because of Basingstoke Live so I was determined to go.

Buuuuuut, determination is hard when you’re anxious. As usual my anxiety reared its head as I was walking to town with thoughts swimming around my brain. What if everyone knows each other? What if I’m the oldest? What if no one shares the same opinion as me?! Part of me wanted to run (ha, I wish I mean struggle to quick walk) away and forget about it.

As usual the staff at my local Waterstone’s were lovely and engaging. I got there half an hour early and had a lot of conversations with different members of staff and got compliments about my jumper again ( It’s says – Me? Wrong? Never. on it and it went down a storm at the office). Then I bumped into a girl who bonded with me over books we loved and that’s just the beginning.

At this point let me introduce Becky who is scarily similar to me and feels like she’s been a friend for years! I think she’ll feature on my blog again! We hit it off straight away, she’s heard of my band (!!) and ended up talking way after the evening had finished. The only worry that came of my anxieties was that I was the oldest non staff member of the group, but that didn’t matter. The girls were great and I’m already thinking of some people from uni I want to bring down.

It was a big step for me tonight to do this when I didn’t know anyone. It’s the kind of situation that makes me incredibly anxious and panicky but I did. It’s nice to do something that only I’m really interested in and meet other people who like it too. I’m definitely going to be going for the rest of the year which is super exciting and something to look forward to every month. So I would say it was a success! I also treated myself because I was proud with two next YA books (of course), a new fox keyring, some pens, an about me type book, a to-do notebook, a new academic diary, Harry Potter Pop and some brightly coloured pens! 🙂

Are there any other YA readers out there who can give me some good recommendations?! Throw them my way!

Book Review: Keep Your Friends Close – Paula Daly

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You’d trust your best friend with your life…right?

Natty has the perfect life, a successful business, two daughters she adores and her teenage sweetheart as a doting husband. While the stresses of work build there is nothing Natty can’t handle…apart from maybe her mother in law. That is until she receives a phone call that her daughter is desperately ill, her oldest friend steps in to help out but what Netty doesn’t know is that this could be the start of her world beginning to unravel.

I will start out by saying that Daly’s novel is delicious and addictive.I give you fair warning, this book will keep you up until the early hours desperate to know what’s going to happen next. There was no part of me that wanted to put this novel down at any point of the day. Daly has an incredible talent for creating a world in which anything can happen and anyone can have secrets you’d never even consider. If there was anything I’d change about this novel it’s that I’d want it to continue. I want to know what happens after it ends because it was just so damn good.

The protagonist, Natty, is a determined woman, she’s worked hard for all she has and has never had a reason not to trust her best friend, until now. There are twists, turns and ‘oh my god’ moments throughout the whole book. I also particularly liked her daughters, they grow as the book goes on and become incredible characters, in fact I would have liked to have known more about them. I was also pleased to see the return of Joanne, the policewoman (those of you who have read Just What Kind of Mother Are You? will remember her).I also found the character of Eve to be written in a breaktaking way. I hated her, but at the same time I couldn’t get enough. I’ll leave it there in fear of spoilers.

It’s hard to write a review for a novel such as this because I could easily drop in some spoilers without realising. Each twist and turn has been carefully thought out and although there are some clues throughout, there is still the ability to shock, especially in relation to Natty’s past…Daly’s one of those writers that once you’ve read one of her books you’re hooked and I can’t wait to get my hands on her latest novel this summer. I only have a few weeks to wait but I can assure you Keep Your Friends Close has wetted my appetite and I’m sure it will do the same for all of you. 

It should not come as surprise that I’m giving this novel five stars *****. It is written with a sharp mind and pure talent on Daly’s part. I read this book in less than a day, with other things to do. The thought will always be at the back of your mind too, who do I really know? This novel really is a must read, I promise you wont regret it.

Daly’s new novel The Mistakes I Made is out on the 27th August.

This is not a sponsored post.

Review by Chloe Metzger