The Longest Week Ever In The Longest Year Ever

Well, it feels like this week was one of the longest weeks of 2020. I don’t know about you guys but I have been exhausted. When it came to the blog I wasn’t sure what to write or when. Did I write when lockdown started again in England? Keep up a commentary of the US election? Or just as an when I felt that I could?

Watching The USA

I’m not sure this is classed as a hugely political blog, but I know I’m opinionated and my friends and family regularly tease me for my liberal views. From a look at any of my social media feeds you’ll know I was not a fan of the current president, his views or his ways. I had everything crossed for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, for a little bit of hope in America again.

Now, I didn’t intend to stay up to watch the results because of how unlikely it was that they would announce. So I went to bed, waking up every 2 hours (not consciously trying), I even had a very realistic dream that Biden won and thought it was real life…and was very sad it wasn’t true.

I streamed CNN on the TV on Saturday in the background waiting for any news…so of course when I dozed off I missed it being announced live but thankfully I was only behind a few minutes.

Knowing the giant orange has been voted out by the people made me breathe a sigh of relief. I felt a little hope again that he had been defeated and history was made.

Heading Back Into Lockdown

On Thursday, as if things weren’t already keeping me awake we went back into lockdown in England (other countries in the UK had already gone in much earlier). Even thought we knew it was coming I couldn’t help but feel sad and anxious.

We’ve just started to have a little bit of normality, being able to see my family pets helps my mental health immesley so going back into lockdown, especially when it’s so dark outside is tough. Do I think it’s going to do much in the grand scheme of things? Not really, but we’re doing what we need to do right now.

And Everything Else

Aside from that I’ve managed to pick up some more work after October was quieter than I would have liked which is a good thing. Other than that I’m spending my lockdown packing up the flat ready to move at the end of our lease.

It’s been a long, long week and now I think it’s time for a gin.

The Only Goal I Have For The Rest Of 2020

The Only Goal I Have For The Rest Of 2020

Like many of you I started 2020 with some goals. I wanted to get fitter, slim down, get my wedding paid early so I didn’t have to worry about it at the end of the year. I wanted to work on my writing, carry on building my career, so many things.

Well, I don’t know about you but most of those goals went down the toilet from April. We have, collectively, gone through a major trauma as human beings. There aren’t many people who will end this year and go wow, what a great one. 2020 will go down in history…and it’s only August!

Whether you’ve been furloughed, lost your job completely, have been trying to home school or have been working the whole way through all of us have had challenges that we didn’t see coming or couldn’t have planned for. Funnily enough global pandemics which lead to entire countries locking down for months isn’t covered in any training course I’ve been to or exam I’ve ever taken.

A lot of things have also been taken from us they might be big things like not being able to attend the funeral of a loved one, missing out on meeting a newborn who you’ve loved since you found out they existed. It might have been something smaller – being able to hug your loved ones (this one I really struggled with) or going for a coffee with friends without anxiety taking over.

I’ve made no secret of the fact I’ve struggled a lot with my mental health, sometimes it feels as if I’ve got over one hurdle only to slip and fall at the next. It’s not a nice feeling. For me, personally, I’m sad about the big and the small things – I couldn’t take my sister with me to pick up my wedding dress, we’re wondering if the wedding we planned will happen, we’re moving at the end of the year as a result of the pandemic. It’s a lot, it really, really is.

I know I’m in a fortunate position. There are family and friends around me who are supporting in any way they can, we’ve managed to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. That said something has to give – which means I only have one goal, one expectation of myself for 2020.

To get through it.

After everything, for all of us, that has to be enough. So I am giving anyone reading this the nudge to let go of what you thought 2020 was going to be about. It’s not easy, I know, I’m awful at letting things go but we should normalise it.

One day, one hour, one minute at a time if you need to.

Just keep going.