Mental and Physical Health

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I have a confession to make my lovely readers. I have not been looking after myself. In the past few months, I have been severely lacking at going to the gym and keeping up with my fitness. There’s a lot of reasons that my fitness has taken a hit, partly due to not feeling up to it after work, partly struggling with pain levels and mostly motivation. Yep, motivation, that little bugger.

When the gym was 5 minutes away and I only had a few hours of uni a week, working out was easy. If I felt like going to the gym I could just go, I could make it the first thing I did in the day and if my muscles were aching I could spent the rest of the day in comfortable clothes and blankets with and write from home. I don’t have that luxury anymore. You see I start work at 8am, meaning if I wanted to get an hour in at the gym before work I’d have to get up at 5am. I would not make it through the day if I did that.

There’s a lot of pressure at this time of year to go on a complete fitness hype. To work out all the time and join clubs to slim down, cut back on what we eat. To those of you who are motivated by things like that I salute you, but I’m not one of them. For me my body, my weight and my mood are very personal to me. The thought of being weighed in front of others, or having the pressure of a weigh-in would not do me good, I’m pretty sure it would do the opposite. Likewise, I don’t have bathroom scales in the house, because I know that I can get obsessive.

When it comes to my mental health, food can be a crutch for me. When I’m sad I’ve been known to cheer myself up with food and then be weighed down with guilt. I’ve also been known to get so obsessed with a number on a scale that I don’t want to eat. It can really go either way and I’m not willing to give the dark part of my brain something to feed on. It’s because of this I’ve started taking the measures that I did before, when I was at uni. While it’s not the same (I move around a lot less as I have to drive to work and only have a half hour lunch break) I do want to make a positive impact on my life, because I have been frustrated with myself.

I’m going to the gym with my sister and have cut down on what I eat. I’m so used to snacking because I get bored and not being able to say no to food going spare (today I passed on free Dominoes pizza, it was a proud moment), but I’m not doing it anymore. I have an allotted amount of food to eat. I want to try and stick to this. Of course if I’m going out for the day or evening with friends and want to have something I will, I’m not cutting out the things I enjoy completely.

Really I just want to get back to focusing on my health and feel good about myself, my mind and my body again. No fad diets. No wanting to be a ridiculous size or weight.  Just happy and healthy, that’s all I want to be. Also, next month I’ll be having spinal injections to tackle the pain, meaning that I’ll hopefully be getting around and able to work out a bit more without having to stop for pain!

A Typical Day.

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When I asked you all what you would like to see on the blog via Twitter, you all asked for a little more Lifestyle and I am more than happy to oblige. For tonight’s post I thought why not let you know what my day to day life is like? I touched upon how hectic it could be in a recent interview with Yada so I thought I’d share with you all what a typical week day is like (because my favourite thing to do at the weekend is sleep, not gonna lie.

6.30 – 7.00am 

Alarm goes off, I usually  hit snooze. Once I finally wrench myself from my nice warm bed I’ll put on my clothes for work, brush my teeth, put on a little bit of make up and make sure I drink some water.

7.10 – 7.45am 

Assuming that I haven’t forgotten anything I’ll be on the road for about 40 minutes. I’ll usually listen to music (carefully selected) and be thinking about my first cup of tea of the day.

8am 

I start work at 8am, which I chose to beat the traffic because the A road I have to go down is a nightmare in rush hour. While my computer is booting up I’ll make myself a glorious cup of tea and catch up with the other 8am starters.

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9am-1.30pm

I spend the morning working on my to do list, replying to emails and doing whatever it is I need to do. Sometimes I’ll have meetings or will be editing some graphic design work. I’ll usually schedule Social Media for the day too.

1.30-2pm 

Lunnnnnccchhh! Depending on who’s in the kitchen and how I’m feeling I’ll either chat or read while I’m on my break. I always take a book with me to work so that I can do a bit of reading on my lunch normally.

2-4pm 

I usually adjust my to do list to reflect anything that’s come in that morning. I’ll compare to the week and highlight how things are going.

4-5pm

Drive home and do any bits and pieces I need to do on the way. Sometimes I drop into my Mum’s for a cup or tea or will need to go to the supermarket to get some food. Nothing that exciting.

5-6pm 

Chill time. I need some time to just chill out after getting home from work before I start blogging and writing so I’ll give myself an hour to catch up with Ali and have a bit of a rest.  Sometimes I’ll just catch up on some reading.

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6-9pm 

No rest for the wicked. I’ll spend my evening sorting and eating dinner, blogging and planning blogs. I work a lot on the blog and trying to work out what I want to do next, looking at my stats as well as talking on Twitter. Oh and feeding and playing with Hamski.

9-10.30pm 

Need to get showered and ready for bed. After I’ll get my clothes ready for the next day, read a bit and scroll through social media.

10.30-11pm 

This is when I’m supposed to go to bed to make sure that I’ll get up the next morning, it doesn’t always work. Once I am in bed though it doesn’t take me long to look like this…

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So that’s a typical day for me? How does it compare to yours?

Let me know in the comments below!

Feminist Friday: Currently Reading – Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay.

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I thought I would do something a little different for tonight’s blog, based on what I’m currently reading. I’ve had Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist on my TBR for such a long time and I’ve finally got around to picking it up and reading it. So far it’s a chatty, funny and thoughtful reflection on life as a woman and feminist. It’s also my first book about feminism this year, I have a long list I want to get through and Gay is just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve included her Ted Talk below for those of you who want to know more.

Enjoy!

Book Review: You Will Not Have My Hate – Antoine Leiris

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“You want me to be scared, to see my fellow citizens through suspicious eyes, to sacrifice my freedom for security. You have failed. I will not change.”

In December 2015, Antoine kissed his wife goodbye before she went out for an evening of music with friends while he stayed at home and cared for their young son. She loved music, in fact the couple met at a concert. A few hours later gunmen opened fire on the Bataclan in a horrific terrorist attack. She didn’t survive. This is Antoine’s heartfelt response to the loss of his wife, to the responsibility of raising a son alone and to those who wanted to help but didn’t know how.

I personally requested this book when I knew it was available on Netgalley, I was going to read it regardless because I had heard of the beauty of his words. Antoine first wrote a Facebook post to family and friends in the aftermath of the attack. This is an outpouring of his grief, as he tries to piece his and his sons lives back together. The book has a poetic quality to it, as a reader I was confronted with both the beauty of the words on the page, as well as the pain that radiates through them.

From the ashes of tragedy rises a phoenix of hope. The book is so much more than just a heartfelt message of hope and defiance in a lyrical and heartbreaking form. This, at its heart, is a love story, between Antoine and his wife, lost in the horrific terrorist attack on the Bataclan. Antoine recounts his struggles as he faces a life raising his their son alone, to explain that his Mummy isn’t coming home. While short, this is a prominent piece of work. You Will Not Have My Hate shows the love, hope and resilience that is needed to show those who did this they will not win, they will not have our hate.

Best Friend Tag!

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May I introduce you to the lovely and wonderful Abbie. We decided to give a tag from bestfriendtagquestions.com a go. So, here’s the basics.

1.How and when did you meet?

Chloe: We met through Ben, Abbie’s boyfriend and one of my best friends. The first time I met her was in the Kings Tun Pub in Kingston, she was so nervous because me and Ben were such good friends.

Abbie: We met in like… August 2015?? Through Ben because Ben was introducing me to his friends, it was scary (for me)

2. What’s your favourite memory together?

C: Going to the Harry Potter launch together, I knew I’d found my true Potter match.

A: Seeing Busted last year, because it felt like it was when we became hang-out-without-Ben-friends, and because it was a last minute plan that worked

3. Describe each other in one word.

C: Caring

A: Strong

4. What’s her dream job?

C: To have a job that meant stroking and playing with cats all day

A: I’m going to go with author or Mental Health Marketing

5. What’s her favourite makeup brand?

C: Hmmm, currently Nyx!

A: Bare Minerals…I think

6. What is something that annoys you about the other person?

C: When she doesn’t pick up the phone

A: She has load of books I want to read on Kindle, I can’t borrow them on Kindle.

7. If you could go anywhere in the world together, where would it be and why?

C: DISNEY WORLD, DISNEY WORLD, DISNEY WORLD

A: Disney World, obviously.

8. Favorite inside joke?

C:  #ibslife

A: #ibslife

9. Who takes longer to get ready in the morning?

C: Abbie.

A: Me, I need coffee to function in the morning.

10. Favorite season?

C: I know she loves the Autumn, that’s when the best Lush exclusives come out.

A: I’m not sure but I feel like Autumn because blankets and birthday, just about, September is Autumn, right?

11. Favorite song?

C: Anything Disney

A: I feel like it changes a lot, I know Ed Sheeran has a new song so it may currently be that

12. What is it like being best friends with someone who is obsessed with books? * edited from original post*  

C: Amazing, we can share!

A: Good but expensive, she encourages the book buying.( C: I encourage good book buying, it’s part of being a good friend)

13. Heels or flats?

C: Flats, neither of us can deal with sore feet.

A: Flats, Heels are ouchy.

14. Pants or dresses?

C: Dresses, she’s much more or a dresses person.

A: Pants because they’re easier to shop for? Dresses when the right one comes along.

15. Favorite animal?

C: Cat or Bunny. (A: Sneaky curveball, it’s a Giraffe, I love them so much it makes me want to cry.

A: Dog?

16. If your house was burning down, and your entire family was sure to be okay, what would you save and why?

C: Lush

A: How many books do you think you can carry? I think books or wands.

17. Comedy, horror, or chick-flick?

C: Comedy

A: Comedy

18. Blackberry or iPhone?

C: iPhone, but she’s not as obsessed as me.

A: iPhone

19.Favorite movie?

C: Damn it I know this, I know this!!! Something Disney? I want to say Bambi because of Thumper?

A: I feel she had an extreme obsession with 101 Dalmations? So I’ll go with that.

(we both got this wrong, Abbie’s in Princess Bride, mine is Love Actually)

20. What is something weird that you eat?

C: Abbie eats as safely as me because #ibslife

A: I think it’s weird that Chloe eats kebabs occassionally because what a risk when #ibslife

21. Do you guys have anything matching?

C: I’m pretty sure we have matching Hogwarts t-shirts but in our house colours

A:  We nearly had matching blouses for work but Primark was working against us.

22. What’s your favourite TV show?

C: We both love The Crown

A: Maybe Bake Off? Even though it is a relatively new love. (She’s right, we both love a bit of Bake Off).

Thanks to my wonderful Absie for working on this blog for me.

How about you and your best friend? Tag me I’d love to read yours!

Coping With January Blues

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Now that we’re into the second week of January, I’ve heard a few people mention the January Blues. Who can blame them? It’s a little while until payday and the weather is less than wonderful right now. I can personally vouch that things feel a little less than rosy right now. When you combine the usual January blues with depression it can make life extremely hard, even the smallest things can feel like a chore. And when you’re faced with getting up in the dark (and in my case sometimes arriving at work in the dark) and coming home from work in the dark it can make you feel a little trapped.

So, how do we go about trying to help ourselves? How do we fight through the next 3 weeks of this month? I thought I’d come up with a little list of things that can be done to get ourselves through when the time of year isn’t exactly helping.

Remember that the days can only get longer 

Good news, we’ve now had the longest day so from this point on the days can only get shorter from here. It may be a long way off but Spring will come sooner rather than later.

If you want to eat, eat. 

It’s cold, it’s dark. If you want to eat classic winter meals like stew, Sheppard’s pie, general pie and lots of potatoes then do it. Starving yourself for a diet when

Try and get outside a little. 

I’m the worst for this but if you can go out and get a little walk when it’s not raining it can help. Being cooped up in a house or in the office the whole time can make you feel a lot worse, even if it is a really struggle to motivate yourself to go out there.

Know that it’s ok to struggle. 

I know a lot of people struggle with the feelings that they should be happy. There’s a big problem with the would should. I’ve felt like this recently that I should be happy, which is easy to say. Hearing that other people are having a bit of a wobble too makes me feel better. It’s definitely ok to struggle this time of year.

Don’t feel pressured by New Years Resolutions 

I don’t make them because I think it’s a terrible time to say you’re going to change all of these things. I don’t know about you but warmth and clear skies do a lot more for my motivation than cold and rain. Don’t feel pressured by others to do them! I work on things I want to do when I’m most motivated, which for me is in the Spring when things are actually new and generally nicer to look at.

Look After Yourself 

Self-care isn’t selfish. Say it with me, SELF-CARE ISN’T SELFISH. You can’t help anyone if you don’t help yourself. Make life easier for yourself and make sure that you look after number one, because you need to rely on yourself.

What are your top tips for coping with the January Blues? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me – @chloemetzger.

Sunday Seven: 2017 Book Releases

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A new year means new book releases and I am so excited. I have had a little nose around at what’s going to be coming up this year and there are definitely some crackers to get excited about! So let’s get stuck in.

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This Is How It Always Is – Laurie Frankel

‘When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl. Rosie and Penn want Claude to be whoever Claude wants to be. They’re just not sure they’re ready to share that with the world. Soon the entire family is keeping Claude’s secret. Until one day it explodes.’

I’m intrigued by the fact that hiding their child’s true self ‘explodes’ and what this means, I really hope this is a novel that shows what it means to be a family in this situation.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

 

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This is how it happened – Paula Stokes 

When Genevieve Grace wakes up from a coma, she can’t remember the car crash that injured her and killed her boyfriend Dallas, a YouTube star who had just released his first album. Genevieve knows she was there, and that there was another driver, a man named Brad Freeman, who everyone assumes is guilty. But as she slowly pieces together the night of the accident, Genevieve is hit with a sickening sense of dread—that maybe she had something to do with what happened.

I’m really interested in this novel because it looks at the idea of hero worship of Youtube stars, guilt and a mystery. Sign me up.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

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The Art of Feeling – Laura Tims 

Since the car accident, Samantha Herring has been in pain, not only from her leg injury, but also from her mother’s death, which has devastated her family. After pushing away her friends, Sam has receded into a fog of depression. But then Sam meets Eliot, a reckless loner with an attitude and an amazing secret—he can’t feel any pain.

I know what it’s like to live with chronic pain after my own injury so the premise of this is really interesting. It’ll be interesting to pick it up and see what the authors interpretation of living with chronic pain is,

Full blurb on Goodreads.

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Happy – Fearne Cotton 

“This book is a way to release what’s going on inside your head and to keep heading towards the good stuff. The simple stuff. The stuff that’s going to really hit up that happiness on a deep and nourishing level. Whether you dip into these pages every now and then when you feel you need it, or use it daily as a positive exercise, I hope it brings you much relief, joy and calm. Amen to the pen.” – Fearne Cotton

I was told this is a book for over-thinkers, sign me up right now.

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A Quiet Kind of Thunder – Sara Barnard 

Steffi has been a selective mute for most of her life – she’s been silent for so long that she feels completely invisible. But Rhys, the new boy at school, sees her. He’s deaf, and her knowledge of basic sign language means that she’s assigned to look after him. To Rhys, it doesn’t matter that Steffi doesn’t talk, and as they find ways to communicate, Steffi finds that she does have a voice, and that she’s falling in love with the one person who makes her feel brave enough to use it.

I want to read a lot more diverse books this year and the premise of this book fills me with happiness at the blurb. I need to get me hands on this one.

Find it on Goodreads.

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Difficult Women – Roxane Gay 

The women in these stories live lives of privilege and of poverty, are in marriages both loving and haunted by past crimes or emotional blackmail.

I haven’t read too many collections of short stories, but I’d like to try and read a few more. I absolutely loved Roxane Gay’s Ted Talk when I watched it in uni, Bad Feminist has been on my TBR forever, so it only makes sense to add Difficult Women to my list. That and I think we need more ‘difficult women’ in the world.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

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Sour Hearts – Jenny Zhang

Centered on a community of immigrants who have traded their endangered lives as artists in China and Taiwan for the constant struggle of life at the poverty line in 1990s New York City, Zhang’s exhilarating collection examines the many ways that family and history can weigh us down and also lift us up.

This is the first novel from Lena Dunham’s publishing company. While I have mixed feelings about Lena and the comments she makes, she’s really struck gold by the looks of it. This is another novel I want to read that shows diversity and the struggles of others in regards to immigration. I feel like this is also needed when we’re facing the leader of the free world being so anti-immigration.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

2017 on chloemetzger.com!

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A new year and more blogs to write and plan for you all to read. I really had trouble tonight thinking of what I wanted to write, what direction I wanted to go. A few nights ago I asked those of you who follow me on twitter (@chloemetzger) who you would like to see more of on my blog and if you’d like me to write two book reviews a week (!!). The majority of you did want two book reviews a week, which is something I’m working on doing in this years planning. In terms of what you’d like to see you asked for more mental health related posts and more general lifestyle posts. I am more than happy to give the people what they want!

So far I post Book Reviews on a Thursday, Feminist Friday’s and Sunday Seven. Three regular slots that my lovely subscribers and Twitter followers know are coming. After hearing back from some of you I’m also hoping to add a weekly mental health post and more general lifestyle in between. Basically, I want to get a more regular schedule together for the blog and make 2017 really productive and positive year for the blog.

I’m really proud of how it’s evolved and how many of you that I get to talk to and interact with online. It’s because of all of this and the positivity I have felt from you guys I’m taking active steps to write my book. Yep, I’m not calling it a resolution for this year because I know that it could take years before I’m happy with it and I also know that there’s a chance it will never get published, but what the hell.  This blogs in its fourth year now and I know I can write long pieces from my dreaded dissertation, so why not?

Is there anything else you want to see or maybe that you’re excited about? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me!

Book Review: Black, White, Other -Joan Steinau Lester

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As a biracial teen, Nina is accustomed to a life of varied hues—mocha-colored skin, ringed brown hair streaked with red, a black father, a white mother. When her parents decide to divorce, the rainbow of Nina’s existence is reduced to a much starker reality. Shifting definitions and relationships are playing out all around her, and new boxes and lines seem to be drawn every day. Between the fractures within her family and the racial tensions splintering her hometown, Nina feels caught in perpetual battle. Stranded in a nowhere land of ethnic boundaries, and struggling for personal independence and identity, Nina turns to the story of her great-great-grandmother’s escape from slavery in hopes of finding her own compass to help navigate the challenges before her.

Nina is in a place of change. Her parents are getting divorced, she hardly recognises her best friend or the world around her. While her Dad rallies against the unfairness of the current racial situation, Nina has no idea where she fits. She may have her father’s dark skin, but also has her mother’s soul. She needs to work out where she fits in this world and who she wants to be. This novel is an attempt at various issues in a new and interesting way. Lester uses a combination of modern events and fictionalised history to show a new perspective.

While reading the novel I felt like the author was trying to do so many things and, in doing so, made the novel a struggle to read. It honestly felt like the author couldn’t decide whether she wanted to write a historical fiction or a YA novel, I’m all for authors trying new things but this just didn’t seem to work in my opinion. While reading, the imagined history of Nina’s ancestor seemed to have a lot more detail and consistency than reading from Nina’s perspective.

This is an important issue and it needs to be raised in young adult literature, however, I found it incredibly difficult to follow. There were gaps in the plot that I had to go back and keep checking such as certain characters, who they were to Nina and the history they shared. At some points, I was completely thrown off and not able to understand where people came from, what relevance they had to the story, which was a shame. I also felt angry and upset with descriptions of mental illness that were portrayed in the novel calling mentally ill people ‘mentally challenged’ and using mental illness as an insult. This was extremely disappointing.

I gave this novel 1 out of 5 stars. I really couldn’t enjoy the writing or the plot and while I think the ideas had merit it seemed very weak unfortunately. I received this novel for a fair and honest review via Netgalley.