Music Growing Up With Paramore

Growing Up With Paramore

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Friday night I was lucky enough to go and see Paramore for the fourth time. I’ve been a Paramore fan since I was 13 years old and coincidentally since I met Ali, but Paramore isn’t about just that.

I think everyone has a band or artist that impacts their life, for me that was, and still is, Paramore. Hayley talked a lot on stage about how the band and fans have grown up together and it made me think, a lot about what the band meant to me. If I’m honest, I got a bit emotional.

When I was that 13-year-old who first heard Riot I was just getting into my own identity and working out, as a teenager, who I was. A friend recommended this band, Paramore. I loved it and I loved the lead singer she was short, a redhead with a big voice. She was everything  I wanted to be.

I listened to Riot on repeat and I met a boy that I really liked. I waited for Brand New Eyes to come out and it was like nothing I’d ever listen to. I fell in love with each and every song and they made sense. Brand New Eyes came out in 2009, it was around this time I was struggling with Depression, it hit me hard and that album got me through, The Only Exception became ‘our song’.

 

Couple Paramore 2010, 2013, 2014, 2018

When Zac and Josh left the band, I was devastated, I thought the band I loved was over. And then the singles came out, and then ‘Paramore’. At first, I didn’t get it, it seemed petty, it didn’t measure up to Brand New Eyes, all of these thoughts went through my mind. Then my band broke up, I was leaving for uni and the unknown. Suddenly it all made sense. The lyrics, the music it all made sense. My heart soared and it felt like the music held me together for the next few years.

Then another album and another part of my life, ‘After Laughter’. I’d graduated I was an ‘adult’ now but things weren’t going to plan. The single ‘Hard Times’ was released on the 19th April and it seemed to be the perfect thing for me, I’d lost my job 2 weeks earlier and graduate life wasn’t great. I listened to that song obsessively, again the tracks made me feel a little less alone, a little more capable. Then the album came out and ‘Rose Coloured Boy’ and ‘Fake Happy’ became my anthems.

Hayley was right the other night when she said we’re not the same people we were when ‘Riot’ was released and ‘Misery Business’ was all I listened to on repeat. I felt so many emotions watching. I was proud of this band and proud of myself for overcoming so much shit in the past 10 years and still being able to smile.

This might be fangirling, might be OTT but I really feel like I owe Paramore.

What band is it for you?

Feminist Friday with… Hazel

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For my first guest post of 2018 I have Hazel from SayIDoOnABudget.com, I used to work with Hazel and would often have chats about blogging and Feminism, so it only made sense that she would guest post for me!

Are terms of endearment from strangers socially acceptable?

If you’re female – Have you ever been called any of the below terms by a male you don’t know very well or don’t know at all?

The answer is more than likely YES. How does being called these terms make you feel?

I get called these terms every single day in my job, usually (but is not limited to being), by men who are older than me. I do not like people I don’t know calling me doll, sweetheart, love or anything else similar. When I have expressed my dislike of these terms being used by people I am not familiar with to those I know, they dismiss by dismay by saying they’re “just terms of endearment” and that the person is “just being polite”.

Why I don’t want to politely accept ‘terms of endearment’ from strangers.

Saying they are just terms of endearment or someone is just being polite doesn’t make the use of these terms by strangers okay. In fact, it actually makes it worse.

Bit too far for you now? I thought you might think that, so please let me explain and you may change your mind.

What is a term of endearment anyway?

Looking at these terms from the viewpoint of the study of the English Language

The Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of ‘endearment’ is “a word or phrase expressing love or affection”.

If a stranger started talking to you by saying “Hello, I love you” you’d be quite within your right to think this person was being overly familiar and probably rather odd. So, going off the premise that a stranger cannot love us or feel affection for us, why, if a term of endearment is a term we use for people we love or feel affection for, do we feel it ok for a stranger to refer to us using them? When in fact it is overly familiar and rather odd, just as much as someone you don’t know saying they love you is.

Terms of endearment can be sexist and used in ways closer to abuse than love. This idea is not a new one, but rather one that hasn’t yet seeped into the consciousness of a large enough part of society for their use to be as abhorrent as the term ‘boy’ can be. If you’re not aware of the historical use of the term ‘boy’, especially when used by someone who is caucasian towards a black adult male then you may want to read up more on this, as me discussing this would be a whole other post!

We are still fighting for the equality of sexes today; even in the developed world we still have a long way to go. People standing up against overly familiar and sexist terms being used towards women will help in our fight to be universally viewed as equal; because the language we use is closely linked to our thoughts and feelings. Between Friends and relatives, these terms are perfectly fine, but they don’t belong in the workplace.

One of our most powerful tools in our arsenal as humans is our spoken language. One of the things we take the most meaning and understanding from is words. So let’s use them right and demand that others do not use words that diminish, or belittle women. Let’s demand that words/phrases used to push a feeling of inferiority onto women are made as shameful to use racial slurs are.

Don’t just take it from me, how about reading this article from David Shariatmadari on The Guardian about how the meaning and use of words can be changed over time, or this article by Kathryn Westcott on the BBC regarding the sexist undertones some words can carry and when it is or isn’t appropriate to use them .

What are your thoughts and feelings on these terms being used? Are there times when they are acceptable? When do you find someone referring to you in these ways as unacceptable? Have your opinions been changed slightly now?

 

Thank you so much, Hazel, for your thoughts! Remember I’m always looking for more opinions in guest posts for Feminist Fridays! Get in contact today chloefmetzger@gmail.com.

Book Review: Love, Hate and Other Filters – Samira Ahmed

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Torn between the life her parents want for her, a job as a successful lawyer and a ‘suitable’ husband and her dreams to attend NYU to pursue a career in filmmaking, Maya thinks these are her biggest problems. That is until a terrorist attack completely shatters her world, sharing the same last name as the suspect is enough for her to face anger, hatred and violence all because of her religion.

This is Ahmed’s debut novel and if this is just the start, I can’t wait to see what comes next. An own voices novel, Ahmed makes 17-year-old Maya come alive within a few pages, presenting the struggle and expectations of a first-generation American. From the very first chapter, we see Maya fed up with the idea of a ‘perfect Indian daughter’, instead, she captures the world through a camera lens with hopes and dreams of making this a career.

This wasn’t a typical rebellious teenager character. You can see and feel the frustrations of trying to balance the two worlds. While she loves her parents and her Indian heritage, she was brought up as an American and struggles to balance the two. Particularly when her parents arrange for her to meet ‘suitable’ Kareem, a potential match, while she’s finally getting her crush to notice her at the same time. What’s a girl to do?

While a large chunk of the novel is taken up by love interests, there are serious undertones even before the disruption of the terrorist attack on Maya’s life. Luckily, Maya has people around her who can and will support her dreams of working behind the camera. I loved the relationship between Maya and her Aunt Hinda because it showed another perspective, it didn’t make Maya’s parents the only Indian characters and therefore a stereotype. The relationship between the two was incredibly special and moving.

I feel the need to point out that I am not Muslim, I am a white woman, so I feel that my experience of this book may be different to those who have lived it. That said, Ahmed tackles Islamaphobia head-on in this novel and I can only applaud her. It is something that so many will shy away from and pretend it doesn’t happen in today’s society. In that, the novel makes you think, it made me upset and angry that this is happening to innocent people, that Maya and her family face cruelty and hate because of another person’s actions.

As I was reading, I was worried about what the ending would be. I didn’t want this to be a formulaic ending and I’m pleased by what Ahmed did with the character. That is all I can say without spoiling the ending or rest of the plot, but it was worth mentioning.

Overall I gave this 5 stars. I really enjoyed the novel and can definitely see it becoming a bestseller. This should be handed out in schools as a tool to talk about Islamophobia and the impact it has on young people as well as discussions about culture. The only thing I would change is I’d like to have heard more about Maya’s filming and passion but that’s all!

Thank you to Netgalley, Hot Key Books and Samira Ahmed for this in exchange for an honest review.

Harry Potter Haul: Updated

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A few years ago I posted my Harry Potter Haul when Primark was just starting to do Harry Potter merch and I spent a lot of my Student Loan on it (sob, I’m getting so old). Anyway, of course, there is now so much Harry Potter stuff that Primark on Oxford Street has a whole section dedicated and decorated to it.

I was lucky enough to receive a LOT of Harry Potter merch for Christmas. So here is my new and updated Harry Potter haul!

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Boggart as Snape Exclusive Funko Pop

Now, I have a confession to make in regards to this. While it was a present from my parents I ordered it because it was an exclusive and came from Australia but it is brilliant! I’m a big Funko collector and this was a perfect present.

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Gryffindor Onesie & Knee High Socks 

This onesie is so, so fun! Now I can be a toasty little Gryffindor on the cold nights to come. Also, I’ll be rocking those knee high socks!

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Hogwarts School Bag

My Sister got me this beauty. It’s absolutely stunning and you’d never guess that it was from Primark. It’s exactly what I think I’d use at Hogwarts.

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Harry Mug & Hogwarts Shopper 

This mug is super cute andd I knew I wanted it as soon as I saw it, thankfully Mum found it first! Also this shopper is so useful it folds up to an absolutely tiny size but you can fit so much in.

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Hogwarts Alumni Jumper 

The jumpers that Primark have been doing recently make up a good chunk of my wardrobe. Of course, I wanted this one so that I could seek out my fellow Witches and Wizards!

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Hogwarts Notebook

My boyfriends Mum got me this beautiful notebook for Christmas, I’ve seen them a few times but never picked one up. It’s a good size and really great quality, I mean look at that crest!

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Hedwig Pillow 

I have wanted this since I saw it on Instagram. It is so cute, incredibly fluffy and despite its shape, really comfortable. Bless my Mum and Nanna for carrying this all the way around London and home for me.

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Hogwarts Make Up Bag

My sister is a wonderful human being for finding this for me. It’s also got a second bag within it which is really useful for brushes, which I also got from my sister (she’s trying to teach me how to use makeup).

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Funko Plushies

These are SO CUTE. I opened these on Christmas day and squealed, I think they’re newish and I’ve been hunting for Hermione ever since with no luck! So damn cute.

The Prisoner of Azkaban Illustrated Edition 

The boy did good, the boy did very good this year.

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Harry Potter – A History of Magic 

I was lucky enough to get tickets to go to the Harry Potter exhibit at the British Library (more info here). It was a wonderful exhibition but I’m SO glad this exists because you just can’t take everything in, now I can relive it!

Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them Illustrated Edition 

This came out back in November and was on my Christmas Wish List and it’s a beautiful companion to see another idea of what these creatures look like.

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Lupin as Werewolf Limited Edition Pop Vinyl 

I have wanted this for sooooooooo long. This came out as a US exclusive on Hot Topic at first, before a limited quality were also at EMP but I missed them all. So I might have had to buy mine off of eBay, but I couldn’t not have it!

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Gryffindor Jumper

This was in my local Primark in the sale for £5. I snatched this up it’s big and cosy as well as showing my house pride. I also got the matching leggings as an extra treat from my Mum!

What catches your eye from this haul or maybe you already have some of these pieces, let me know in the comments below!

Why You Don’t Need to Reinvent Yourself in 2018!

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You’ve seen it all around you. New Year, New You! 50% off Gym joining fees and weight loss programmes blah, blah, blah, blah. I can bet that I’m not the only one who’s bored and a bit pissed off with the messages that surround us in January.

There’s a lot of pressure in January that we put on ourselves and each other to give things up or change ourselves. I’ve mentioned in previous posts , while it might be a good time for some to be extra motivated, this isn’t the case for me and many others. It’s dark, it’s miserable, a lot of people are struggling with SAD . Not exactly the most motivating, right?

That’s not all though. Think about the messages you are seeing, what do they all have in common? I can guarantee 90% of them have some kind of financial gain from making you want to change yourself! Of course, there are some resolutions which are personal and healthy and I have no judgement on that.

I’ll level with you, currently, I am medically classed as overweight on the BMI scale, which isn’t ideal. That’s something I’ve been working towards changing for myself BUT I’m not getting stupid because it’s a certain month on the calendar. I’m going to take my time and do it slowly rather than losing a lot of weight in a short space of time and then put double the amount back on.

While there’s so much pressure and you can see other people doing it you can be yourself. This doesn’t need to be the year you do everything and reinvent yourself and if you don’t in the next 12 months your a failure. At the end of your life, your last thought isn’t going to be ‘I wish I spent more time working on New Years Resolutions, etc.’

Do things on your own terms, when you feel ready. Don’t let pressure from other people force you into doing things. Resolutions can be a great way of motivating yourself, but only if that works for you. As for me? I’ll be carrying on as I was, working towards my goals one step at a time for as long as it takes. You know yourself best, no one else.

Why I’m HALVING my Goodreads Challenge in 2018

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For the last few years I have set myself the challenge of reading 100 books in a year and in 2016 and 2017 I managed it, which is a really impressive accomplishment for anyone. I love to read, love, love, love it BUT in the last few months of the year I became obsessed with getting to that number and didn’t read books because of their size.

I’m my toughest critic and I am also incredibly competitive with myself. That comes in handy sometimes because I push myself but not in terms of reading. While the challenge has made me read more short story collections, anthologies and poetry collections I want to just read things because I want to, not because of a number.

That said, as I write this the thought of actually reducing that number fills me with dread. Complete and utter dread. On the flip side though I am going to be more picky about what I read. If I’m reading a book and within a few chapters I really don’t care about it, I’m not going to finish it. I did that a lot last year and can’t believe I wasted SO MUCH time on books that, honestly, I couldn’t have cared less about!

So, there we have it, I’m halving my Goodreads challenge  in 2018. What about you guys? Do you use the challenge? Are you thinking about dropping it to read more books you enjoy? Let me know in the comments below!

Feminist Friday in 2018

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In 2016 I started my Feminist Friday series and I’ve so pleased with where it is and where it’s going. I’ve had some wonderful guest posts from women and men about Feminism and what it means to them. But this is just the start.

In 2018 my aim is to make Feminist Fridays even bigger, getting more of you writing about your experiences and what feminism means to you. It doesn’t matter how old you are if you are male or female, what you identify as I want to hear from you and give a platform for people from all walks of life to talk about feminism in their life.

So, my wonderful readers, I need you! I need your thoughts and stories. You can write about anything and if you want to get involved but don’t know where to start, that’s fine I even have prompts!

I also wanted to share some of the wonderful guest posts from 2017 so a big thank you to…

Jess Wade

That Marketing Punk

Lou Sarabadzic

Charlotte Selby 

Jess Wilby

These are just some of the incredible examples that I’ve had in the past year and I’m so grateful for each and every word that they have put together.

Feminism is a key part of our future, particularly after the year that we’ve had in the world. Women are speaking out and making their voices heard, something which can only make the world a better place.

If you, or anyone you know, would like to be a part of Feminist Fridays in 2018 I’d love to hear from you! Email chloefmetzger@gmail.com or comment below with your details, ideas and any other information! I’d love to discuss your ideas and talk about what feminism means to you!

Thank you for a wonderful 2017 and here’s to a fabulous, feminist 2018!

Book Review: The Tattooist of Auschwitz – Heather Morris

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A young man is taken from his home and sent to a ‘work camp’, his crime? Being Jewish. His advantage? His luck and optimism. Despite everything, Lale became the Tattooist of Auschwitz a secret he would hold for the majority of his life. Despite the horrors he saw and the job that he was forced to do, he happened to meet the love of his life, this is their story.

When I received an email asking if I would be interested in reading this I jumped at the chance. There are so many stories from the Holocaust that haven’t been told and millions more that never will, I was intrigued when I found out that it was prisoners that were to tattoo and mark other prisoners. This brought a whole new level of pain and suffering, marking their fellow prisoners, doing the Nazi’s dirty work for them.

What I didn’t expect when reading, was how much I would love Lale and that in all this, he was able to keep kindness and love in his heart. While his job was horrific and something he later felt he had to hide for fear of blame, he was able to find kindness and create a kind of family within the camp.

The story broke my heart over and over, but also gave me hope. Out of something so awful, the love between Lale and Gita was born and managed to withstand and survive. It’s something you need to read to believe because the tale is like something out of a movie.

Of course, I gave this 5 stars. It is beautifully written and tells an incredible story that needed to be told. There are rave reviews online and they are well deserved, I cannot recommend it enough.

Thank you to the Publisher for sending me this!

 

My December Book Haul!

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Hello fellow book lovers!

I know that normally I only post the books I received in my monthly wrap-ups BUT as it was Christmas and the sales I thought it would be worth my book haul getting its very own dedicated blog…because there are so many! So, let’s get stuck in!

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Harry Potter – A History of Magic

I asked for this for Christmas as I was visiting the exhibition at the end of the month. This really goes into another level of detail about the world of Potter and history of magic itself.

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Illustrated Edition – J.K Rowling 

The boyfriend did good on this one, these illustrated editions by Jim Kay are something else. These illustrations are so beautiful and you can tell they’ve been born from imagination rather than the films.

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Fantastic Beasts Illustrated Edition – J.K. Rowling 

This is illustrated by a different artist but is, again, so beautiful and unique. With the Fantastic Beast films coming out every few years this is a perfect companion and there is so much detail in these illustrations.

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A History of Britain in 21 Women – Jenni Murray 

Hearing about kick-ass women who made the country? Of course, I wanted this so on my Christmas list it went. My parents picked this up for me for Christmas, I can’t wait for even more inspiration from reading this.

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Hello, Goodbye, Hello – Craig Brown

I saw someone recommend this on Youtube and the premise of this is fascinating. This links 101 meetings between interesting figures in history and connects them all in a very satisfying circle.

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Sleeping Beauties – Stephen King & Owen King 

Confession, I’ve never read a Stephen King book. This is because I am a wuss and cannot watch a horror film, but books are different. This really intrigued me, although it is absolutely huge. It considers what the world would be after women are infected with a virus, making them feral and violent, sign me up.

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The Stepford Wives – Ira Levin 

I loved the film of this as a teenager and thought it was only proper that I read the book too, I can’t wait to see how it compares.

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Rosemary’s Baby – Ira Levin

I’d heard about this novel before and it was in the offer with the above, so it was worth picking up.

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Animal Farm -George Orwell

I read this when I was at school, I must have been about 13 (I’ve just realised that’s 10 years ago and I feel so old). I absolutely loved this novel and what it stood for but think it’s going to be fascinating to read it all these years later.

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Down and Out in Paris and London – George Orwell 

I’ve only ever read Animal Farm cover to cover, so why not read another of Orwell’s works?

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Night – Elie Weisel

I haven’t read this before and found it in a cheaper bookshop for only £3 and I know it’s a classic piece of Holocaust literature. It’s something, I believe, we need to read about and remember so that so many can be remembered.

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Fools and Mortals – Bernard Cornwell

I was offered a copy of this book for free, so of course, I said yes. This is set in Elizabethan times and focuses on William Shakespeare’s younger struggling actor brother.

Are any of these on your TBR for the year, or maybe you’ve read one? Let me know in the comments below!

My Goals For 2018

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Welcome to 2018! January 1st, the start of a whole new year. If you’ve been following my blog for longer than a year, first of all, thank you so much you’re amazing, anyway, you’ll know I don’t like New Year’s resolutions. I say it, again and again, every year. Long story short, it’s cold, it’s miserable. Why start something new when it’s kinda shitty and everyone feels a little down?

So I’m all about making goals and they don’t need to be big or have a huge final solution. They can be whatever you want them to be and you can start them when you feel ready! So I do have a few goals for myself BUT with the idea that I want to start them. It doesn’t have to be finished by the 31st December 2018 at 11.59 but if it’s started then I’m pleased.

Get to 5000 Twitter Followers

Originally I wanted to do this in 2017 but it didn’t happen but I did get to 4000 which is a great start. So I’m going to work to get to this goal and connect with more people.

Start working on my first book…whatever that may be! 

I’ve wanted to write a book for years, I get ideas, I start writing, I hate everything I write, I stop. The cycle goes on and on. I need to carry on writing, even if I think it’s awful because the end result might not be…

Work towards a healthy weight

My weight has really changed in the past few years there’s a lot of factors, the biggest of which was breaking my spine, but other things too. Emotionally I wasn’t in a good place during the early part of last year but I did make a change. Between July and November, I lost just under half a stone, which is a start but I want to continue to make progress. I know what my goal is but it’s very personal and I don’t want to share it.

Write more poetry

I’ve loved writing poetry more this year and really getting into it. I’ve even published a poem here! I want to work on it and maybe share a little more…

Be a kinder to myself 

Sometimes I’m too hard on myself, I’m gonna try and change that this year.

Work my ass off in my job and see results

I started a job as a Social Media Manager in 2017 on a new project which is really exciting. I want to work hard and see results and see it grow. I’m so excited.

Manage my Anxiety in a healthy way! 

I’m a lot better than I was with my Mental Health but it’s an ongoing thing, I want to carry on getting my anxiety under control.

 

What are your goals for 2018? Let me know in the comments below!