Win A Copy Of Kingsbane by Claire Legrand

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Who doesn’t love a giveaway? As part of the Kingsbane book tour I have kindly been given the opportunity to give away a copy of Claire Legrand’s latest novel and the second in the Empirium series. Want to check out the first novel, Furyborn? You can find out more about it here.

If you don’t want to know anything about the second novel *spoilers* then don’t read the synopsis below (don’t say I didn’t warn you!) But how do you WIN? Follow this link, like and retweet and there you go! This is open to UK residence and closes this Friday at 8pm. What are you waiting for?

In this sequel to the instant New York Times bestseller Furyborn, two queens, separated by a thousand years, connected by secrets and lies, must continue their fight amid deadly plots and unthinkable betrayals that will test their strength—and their hearts.

Rielle Dardenne has been anointed Sun Queen, but her trials are far from over. The Gate keeping the angels at bay is falling. To repair it, Rielle must collect the seven hidden castings of the saints. Meanwhile, to help her prince and love Audric protect Celdaria, Rielle must spy on the angel Corien—but his promises of freedom and power may prove too tempting to resist.

Centuries later, Eliana Ferracora grapples with her new reality: She is the Sun Queen, humanity’s long-awaited savior. But fear of corruption—fear of becoming another Rielle—keeps Eliana’s power dangerous and unpredictable. Hunted by all, racing against time to save her dying friend Navi, Eliana must decide how to wear a crown she never wanted—by embracing her mother’s power, or rejecting it forever.

Thank you to Midas PR, Clare Legrand and Source Books Fire for this opportunity and collaboration.

When There’s ‘Nothing’ To Be Depressed About

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I realise that I haven’t been talking as much about mental health awareness recently. It’s still something I’m passionate about but for the past few months I’ve struggled with my own health, meaning the last thing I wanted to do was write about it. In fact whenever I tried I just couldn’t get the words on the page.

It would be easier if depression only came when something bad happened. That might not sound right but I believe that. You see if depression follows something terrible, people can understand it. When there’s a reason, people are kinder, mostly because they can at least have empathy for someone. They can imagine themselves in your situation.

What about when everything is…good, or even just fine. When life is going swimmingly and there’s no reason for you to be depressed, to feel hopeless. From the outside looking in people would want your life. I’ve found myself there time and time again. Days or even weeks where I feel so low and there’s no reason – and I’m not alone.

These periods of deep sadness, emptiness and loneliness are the descriptions of depression. It’s the difference between feeling sad and having a diagnosable condition. Even with that in mind, some people don’t get it. I think we’ve all been guilty of having the thought of what do they have to be depressed about? Usually talking about a celebrity or successful person.

Here’s the thing, depression doesn’t exclude anyone. It doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank, where you live, who you are – it is an illness. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, it’s a deficiency in the body, but so often that is forgotten.

I beat myself up so much when everything is going ‘right’ but I’m in the depths of depression. I know there will be at least one person that is reading this who can agree and maybe we all need to be that little bit kinder to each other. Maybe, we need to let people feel what they need to feel, what their body is making them feel. That’s not to say we can’t help and we can’t try to make ourselves better but knowing our feelings are valid.

What do you think? Let me know below.

My Mental Health – MHW2019

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Seeing as it’s Mental Health Week, it only seems right that I talk about myself. For those of you who have read my blog for a long time, you’ll know it’s something I’m pretty open about but that took a while, for the first few months after my depression diagnosis I couldn’t even say the word.

So, what’s my diagnosis?

I have been officially diagnosed with Anxiety with Depression, why is it put that way I have no idea.

How long have I been diagnosed?

I was diagnosed at 19, shortly before I went to study at university.

How does it impact me day to day?

Sometimes it doesn’t impact me at all, those are good days. Other days I’ll feel exhausted, irritable, moody. I can struggle to have any motivation or really doubt myself and my abilities.

What’s my treatment plan?

Currently, I take Citalopram, an antidepressant and have done for the past few years. Also, because I realised I was struggling more than normal I am on a waiting list to have 1-1 therapy to talk things out and try and get myself back in a good place mentally.

How am I doing right now?

I’m doing okay. There are days I feel like I’ve got my shit together and I’m doing so well and other days I struggle to get up from my sofa or to reply to any messages. Every day is different. I know I haven’t had the easiest time with my mental health recently, despite life going well, because of that I’m eager to get some talking therapy and feel much better.

Thank you so much for reading! There are more posts for Mental Health Awareness Week coming up so make sure to check back in!

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day 2019

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Today is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day! If you’ve been following my blog for a while you’ll know that I have and live with Fibro. I was in a horse riding accident which caused me to fracture one of my vertebrae and damage 3 others. The trauma of that accident lead me to developing the illness, which is chronic – I will now live with it for the rest of my life.

So, what are some of the symptoms of Fibromyalgia, the NHS describes them as:

“As well as widespread pain, people with fibromyalgia may also have:

  • increased sensitivity to pain
  • extreme tiredness (fatigue)
  • muscle stiffness
  • difficulty sleeping
  • problems with mental processes (known as “fibro-fog”), such as problems with memory and concentration
  • headaches
  • irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) – a digestive condition that causes stomach pain and bloating”

I tick off each and every one of those. It’s a super fun party lifestyle!

I thought I would write a post about how to live with the illness, about how I am thankful I am and the positives I have found. I will do a post like that, in fact, I’m pretty sure I have written posts like that. When I write those posts I’m in a good place and they are truthful, but there are times when, like today, I’m not grateful I’m just tired.

My life completely and utterly changed because of this illness, a ‘normal’ 9-5 meant I couldn’t do anything else other than work. I needed a job to pay the bills, which eventually lead me to freelancing (see, there’s one of those silver linings).

I had to plan rest days, think about how my plans would impact me for days or even weeks after, get a walking stick. The hardest part though? For me it has been the mental struggle adjusting myself to not being able to do absolutely everything for myself. I’ve an incredibly independent person and knowing that, sometimes, I need a little help has been tough.

I don’t think that when I was diagnosed I really processed or dealt with the illness I’d been diagnosed with. It’s something that I’m trying to work though now – I’m getting help with how I feel and the anxiety I have about the future.

While this might not be a super fun or happy read, it is truthful about how I feel at this current moment.

Book Review - Five Feet Apart

Book Review: Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott, Mikki Daughtry, Tobias Iaconis

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Do you want to cry some big ugly tears and feel all the feels? Then this is the book for you. A novel following two Cystic Fibrosis patients, both with a very different view of life and their illness. While Stella likes to be in control, Will is fed up with regimens and trials. When the two meet the unthinkable happens – they begin to fall for each other but how can you fall in love when you have to be five feet apart at all times?

So, Five Feet Apart has been everywhere in the last few months because of the film that came out (as of writing this I still haven’t seen it) and I decided to read it because of the hype. To put it simply, I’m really glad I did.

I will admit that when I first started reading I did find it quite slow, I could put it down and walk away but something kept me coming back to it. I wouldn’t say it’s a book that you devour quickly, it’s more of a slow burn but once you’re in, you’re in. I fell in love with these characters and I was rooting so hard for them, as well as having a soft spot for side characters too.

Now, I can’t say how accurate it is from a CF perspective BUT I have watched a few YouTube videos to see what people who do have it think. They really thought it was a good representation, which gives me hope. Also, it’s worth mentioning the two co-authors on this book both have CF which I think is a bloody excellent idea and something we should see more of in books.

I gave this a 4.5 stars. A really emotional read and one I, personally, learnt a lot from. Have you read the book and seen the film? How do they compare? Let me know in the comments below!

What I Read in April 2019

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At one point I thought April was going to be a terrible month reading wise, I seemed to be in a total funk. So, it was pretty surprising when I found a new favourite author this month! Also, audiobooks are a wonderful way to help out when you’re struggling with concentration!

First up, poetry. I was sent a copy of Your Heart Is The Sea by Nikita Gill. This was an incredible collection and one I completely related with. It’s also a lot longer than most poetry collections, I gave this a full 5 starts and I think you’ll love it.

I also bought a copy of The Mermaid’s Voice Returns In This One the third part of Lovelace’s magic series. This one was ok, but seeing as it was one of my most anticipated reads of the year I felt a little disappointed. I seemed to lack the depth that the others held for me, but not a bad collection I gave it 3 stars.

So I might have found a new favourite author to add to the list. Why didn’t I get to the wonderful Taylor Jenkins Reid before? I’d heard about The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo but hadn’t gotten around to it so first up was Daisy Jones and The Six (5 stars). I was hooked, I devoured it and felt like the characters were living in my head.

I immediately went and downloaded the majority of the rest of her other books. Next up was Evidence of The Affair (4 stars), told through letters and a short available on Audible, it was excellent. I also downloaded Evelyn Hugo on audiobook – I’d heard this was a great way to listen – every minute I could I had my headphones in or my speaker on (5 stars).

  • a-girl-called-shameless-laura-steven

I also listened to I Found My Tribe, a story about a family grappling with Motor Neuron Disease and the relief of the sea (4.5 stars). I was also given access to an early release of Blossoms in Autumn, I thought this was incredibly sweet with great art, but the plot changed at the end and kind of ruined it for me (3 stars). And last, but definitely not least, Izzy O’Neil is back in A Girl Called Shameless and once again Laura Steven has knocked it out of the park cementing her as one of my favourite authors.

So there we have it 2 more favourite authors in a single month, let’s hope that May carries on the same way. What did you read last month? Let me know in the comments below.

Hard Pushed – Leah Hazard

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Saying that midwives are incredible is an understatement. These women (and sometimes men) are the bringers of life, people that labouring mothers can love more than their partners at some points. But who are they behind the scrubs and the smiles? What do they see every day? Leah Hazard has spent years working as an NHS midwife and this is her story.

I absolutely adored this book, because it was so interesting. Through Leah’s eyes, we see snippets of different women as they make their way through labour. From women who are awaiting their first bundles of joy, to teenagers going through it alone, there are a number of stories that made me want to reach through the pages and hug them. Each experience seems to different but so similar at the same time and while this is, as Leah puts it herself, a ‘love letter’ to the women she has helped and her fellow midwives.

While this does have wonderful moments, what stands out is that Leah is not afraid to share the pressure midwives are under. Understaffed, underfunded and often running on empty.  Many midwives have walked away, not because they don’t love their jobs but because they are burnt out. Missed breaks, hospitals fit to burst and often not enough beds. It is one of many memoirs from medical professionals I have read in the past few years that I feel should be required reading for those making cuts to NHS services.

I gave this book 5 stars and devoured it in 24 hours, and that includes a nights sleep in-between. Leah Hazard clearly not only has a talent for writing but also a kindness that exudes from the pages of this book. Like many other medical memoirs, I am in awe of those who care for us in our hours of need. This is incredibly well written and I urge you to pick it up.

A copy of this book was given to me to review via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Life Update: How’re Things Going?

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Hey girls and guys, it’s been a little while since I wrote this kind of post but I think it’s time.

We’re over a quarter of the way through 2019, I’m fine, it’s fine we’re all FINE. In all seriousness though, it’s gone pretty quickly and each month has had something memorable for me some big, others just a personal moment. It seemed like a perfect time to catch you guys up.

Three months down and quite a few changes. I moved house, started an awesome freelance project, got engaged, got a new hamster and I’m sure there are so many other things I’m forgetting as I’m typing this. As you can imagine, with all that change I felt very overwhelmed and had times where my mental health wasn’t at it’s best. I’m doing okay now, I’m on the waiting list for some therapy and I’m going to get through it.

So, what does May look like over here? Hopefully, I’ll be blogging a LOT more. I’m not promising every day, although I did think about doing every day in May – right now that’s not a pressure I want to put on myself. The funk I was in is slowly passing, so let’s hope that continues.

I also have 2 award events I’ve been invited to, hopefully a good amount of work to keep me busy, a Hen Do (Bachelorette party for my US readers), hopefully booking my wedding venue (!!), a family meal and at some point I hope to get some sleep. Oh! And before I forget this month is Fibromyalgia awareness day and Mental Health Week. So keep your eyes peels for those.

In short, this is a post to say I’m back. I haven’t been feeling 100% but I’m working though it and I’m looking forward to blogging again.

May, I am so ready for you.

Book Review_ Heartstopper Vol 1 - Alice Oseman

Book Review: Heartstopper Volume 1 – Alice Oseman

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Are you ready for the cutest story you’re going to read this year? I’m pretty sure this will be it. Alice Oseman has knocked it out of the park with this graphic novel. I read it in less than an hour and then immediately ordered the second volume… I think you can guess this will be a good review.

This follows Charlie, openly gay and prone to over thinking and the only out guy at school. While he’s doing better than he was and has a sort-of boyfriend his world is going to be turned upside down when he meets Nick. As the two boys develop a friendship, Charlie begins to fall for Nick – can he find love or is he looking in the wrong place?

While reading I couldn’t help but feel that this was so wholesome. There isn’t scandal or anything of the sort, it is simply the story of a friendship, kindness and love. That in itself is why I loved it so much, there is complexity in how Charlie feels but it has an overwhelming simplicity. It is about love, and not just one kind of love, both friendship and a romantic love are present.

It is incredible that this started as a Kickstarter project before being published. The thought that this story could have not been published (it was previously posted online by Oseman herself). Now we’re going to be getting volumes 2, 3 and 4 and I am LIVING for it.

You might have guessed that I gave this 5 stars. I absolutely loved it and if you need something to give you a lift, this is most certainly it. I can also recommend Oseman’s novel Radio Silence, a brilliant YA novel that has been gaining fame in the US recently. I still need to read her other books too but Alice Oseman is definitely one to watch.

Heading To The Aisle – Where Do I Start?

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You might have read that I’m getting married. Yep, this girl is heading down the aisle after nearly 11 years of the boy putting up with me – yippie! So, I thought that I might start blogging about the whole thing, I’ve always written about all aspects of my life and this is one I’ve been getting quite excited about.

I wrote a little while ago about how I really felt after I got engaged I’m pleased to say that I’m now feeling a lot less overwhelmed and starting to enjoy planning the wedding. That doesn’t mean I have any idea what I’m doing when it comes to planning. There is so much to think about that I hadn’t even considered.

Now, we’re not planning on blowing all of our money on the wedding. I’ve said from the beginning I want a marriage not just a wedding. So I’m not inviting everyone, I’m not spending thousands on a dress. This is going to be a wonderful day, but it is one day of our lives.

So, I’ve finally started to look at wedding venues, I think I’ve found my dress and have chosen my bridesmaids (more on that in another blog). Now I’ve gotten over being overwhelmed I’m starting to get excited about things and make plans.

I have to point out, this isn’t going to become a wedding blog – it’s definitely not my thing but I’m looking forward to sharing bits and pieces that I’m really excited about but not so much the different variants of cream bows.

And that’s where we’re at right now, I’m going to be writing more about what it’s really like to be planning a wedding the laughs, the frustrations and the excitement. It’s going to be a fun ride!