Getting emotional and chicken… a normal Saturday with the boys.

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Today has been tiring, emotional and fun. The band and I spent the afternoon practising for the Artss show on Monday and as much as I love the band sometimes it gets really hard. I’m singing songs that I wrote when I was absolutely cut up and sometimes when I give my all the emotion just kind of pores out and occasionally it can make me go back to how I felt when I wrote it. Living through those emotions can be really tough especially when I’ve been moving on and then I get stuck right where I was before, I lost what I thought was a good friend, actually a few ‘good friends’, learnt things that were hard on me and I got through it by writing on them and putting that emotion onto a page. It’s why a lot of No People Clubs songs are upbeat, when they’re upbeat it’s harder for me to get upset and think about it and today I did. Funnily enough this turned into a big thing for the band and we ended up opening up to each other before going back to the flat and ordering CFC (Chicken) and I actually felt so much a part of something that it made me really emotional. So right now I’m absolutely exhausted (emotions and a lack of sleep are an awful combination!).

I’m going to leave you all on that note and just finish by saying that I’m really excited about this band, if the boys can understand how much I put into my songs and accept it’s hard then they’re definately worth it. Watch this space.

Relaxing and Pizza

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Kym, Ali and Ben… the best picture I could get. 

As you can guess by the title tonights blog is not terribly exciting or action packed, despite classes this morning we’ve used tonight to relax and get some pizza. I think going out drinking twice a week has started to get boring but we’ll soon see!

Still not a culinary master…

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Although I haven’t mentioned it much I hate cooking. Hate it. I’m not into making food in a pretty was  just to eat it, baking is different for some reason. The general cooking for one is just bloody miserable and cooking for more than one is pointless! Today however I was feeling pretty good about the cooking thing I made eggs for breakfast, Spaghetti and Meatballs for lunch, brownies for Ali and chicken dippers for dinner…ok so the last one doesn’t really count.

I think there’s a lot of pressure when you go to uni about learning to cook, people make out its a huge thing and some people take it really seriously… I don’t. Honestly I think if there is one time you can piss around, make weird combinations and eat whatever you want at whatever time it’s when your in halls!! Go crazy! Eat what you want! I can’t cope with all the gourmet stuff, all the vegetables and fruit and loveliness, be a grown up adult, go on I dare you!

Friendsday Wednesday!!

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Today has very much been a day about friends and I really didn’t expect that. I’ve woken up happier and felt calmer today, I’m finally starting to beat my illness I think. My low days are getting further apart and if they happen I’m working on dealing with them. As part of it I try to go out or do something at least twice a week, usually on student night. Today alcohol wasn’t included it did include, however… 

Nandos! 

A lovely meal out with friends and meeting some new ones, the food wasn’t fab but the laughs and company was well worth it. Thank you to Bekkie, Jess, Emily, Liv, Rhys and Olly for a great time! 🙂

 

 

A bus driver who thought he was in Fast and Furious….

A lovely thank you note and gift from my flat-mate for taking out the rubbish! 

 

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And although I don’t have a picture for it  lovely conversation with my friend Gurdeep! 

 

As you can tell I haven’t gone out drinking this week (although the rest of my halls definitely have!) but I’m not really missing it, it’s fun sometimes but after going out every Wednesday and Friday for 2/3 weeks it gets a bit boring! Next week I’m hoping to see a film with the lovely Amy! Keep an eye out for some more ‘Amy moments’!

The KU Talent Awards and me!

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I promised myself that I would try and get as involved as possible in university life. I didn’t join the liveliest societies so I set about working hard and trying to be positive. When I was online I found out about the KUTalent awards and that I could apply for one, the rising star award for first years. There are loads of different categories for students, staff and companies. I’m nominating myself, I know it sounds crazy and I haven’t been doing it for that very reason but after taking to some staff they said I might as well. The more I filled in my application the more I realised that I’ve truly settled into university now and how much I’ve achieved in such a short space of time. 

Now on day where I wobble it’s hard to remember this I fell alone, tired and emotional, on days like that the blog can help me realise that I’m gonna do ok. I don’t know if I’ll win the award but that’s not what counts really, my tutor read my application and agreed with what I’d written. She agreed so much she’s offered to write me a reference highlighting just how far I’ve come since turning up and heading to sainsbury’s in the pouring rain wondering how I’d do it all. I’m not the same girl as I was when I started, there are definite improvements.

I know how refelctive and possibly cheesy this sounds but I’m actually happy here. I have my lows, who doesn’t? It just feels wierd while I watch the confident people starting to miss home, I feel ok. I still miss them but it’s settled in my head I live here now. It’s because of that going back to Basingstoke in June is going to be the weirdest experience ever.  I’m determined to go back stronger, happier and try and make the most of the summer and who knows? I might even have an award in my suitcase. 

Some of my favourite pictures so far

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After a somewhat boring day I thought I would share with you some pictures I’ve taken on my camera. A bit different, but I’m learning to use it and wanted to share, I hope you enjoy!

DSC00002 My sister concentrating on Christmas day

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The closest I could get to a smile  

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Another AMAZING present that my Mum hunted down, a signed copy of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green!! 

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A scary little monster in the form of my cousin! 

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Pulling silly faces!

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My Grandparent’s living room

Image My amazing Grandparents! Image Another little monster 

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Suki, when she finally stopped moving! 

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Playing around with the camera again! Image 

Ali took this one 

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Celebrating my first first! 

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My beautiful dog, Lottie

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The little monster looking a little bit more adorable

Harry Potter Studio Tour

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It’s rare you’ll find someone who loves Harry Potter more than I do. I’ve been collecting for the past 10 years so imagine how excited I was when at Christmas dinner I found a ticket for the studio tour in my cracker! The tour was incredible and I’m so grateful my parents booked it. So much detail went into those films that people don’t realise. I’ll admit as a super book fan I got frustrated when things were left out but seeing everything today left me in awe of their talent. Here are some of my favourite pictures from today. Oh and I bought a wand for luck,it’s a copy of one that belonged to  ‘the brightest witch of her age’, who taught us all it’s okay to be smart

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I’m not a fan of being alone

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Last Sunday I thought I might be going mad. I had spent 23 hours in my flat without seeing another human being, it was torture. Before I started uni I thought I liked being alone. I would sit in my room and crave that people would just stay out and let me do my thing, then I moved and I found I was alone a lot more than I liked. It’s not that I’m the most social person on the plant but my flat is pretty quiet, unlike other flats I know we’re not best friends. We do get one and there aren’t any major disagreements but we’re very much six individuals who live in the same flat and share a kitchen, that’s about it.

While I was at home this weekend a familiar sense of dread crept in, I’d be going back on Sunday night…an evening of being alone before seeing my friends again. Unlike most students I dread the weekend, there is no uni bus so if I want to see my Kingston Hill friends I need to walk to the station for a bus, most of my other friends either commute or work in shop jobs over the weekend so I spent quality time with myself. I find myself trying to sleep the weekend away because I get bored and frustrated. I don’t want to be surrounded by people but I would like to just have people around me if that makes sense? For reasons like when I’m feeling a bit low I can go and have a conversation and forget what’s on my mind. The other problem is that it gives me time to think and obsess, something I’m working with my mentor not to do, so I get upset and I try to call everyone I know so I won’t start overthinking…it doesn’t always work. Hopefully tomorrow will be ok because I’m getting back fairly late so I can get showered and go to bed.

This may seem like a bit of an odd blog post but I’ve heard the same thing from various friends of mine, especially if you live in a busy house as I do. You don’t miss constant interruptions but you don’t mind the background noise or your dog falling asleep on your feet. At the same time though I do like being able to wander around at 3am and not wake anyone up, so there are some bonus points. It is because of this I’m looking forward to September, Ali and I will be moving in together after  6 years. I’m planning on writing a long blog about it later on about house hunting and all that jazz but for now I’m just getting a little bit excited and a little bit nervous!

That’s enough for the day as I’m enjoying being home and have a few posts to publish that I haven’t already! Harry Potter studio tour tomorrow! I can’t wait to share thee pictures with you all!

Play every gig like it’s Wembley

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King Freddie gracing the stage of Wembley, the way he held the crowd was incredible

 

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always been in awe of Wembley stadium. I went with my parents to the old stadium when I was small we have pictures of me holding various trophies (what they were I don’t know) but the football wasn’t what started me off. So many of my favourite bands have played Wembley, although I haven’t been to a gig there yet I still wonder what it feels like. I think about what it would be like to stand on that stage with thousands upon thousands screaming back at you, a musicians dream.

So maybe I didn’t play Wembley last night for real but I certainly was in my head, the SU came alive! The boys and I finally took to the stage as an electric band…it was amazing. It helps when you have a friend in the crowd who knows the lyrics..that makes you feel like a bit of a rock star. I was nervous and panicked before hand honestly not knowing how to pull this off but we did it! The fun members of the audience (who didn’t sit miserably at a table) were moving and cheering through the whole set. Despite starting with a broken string the rest of it ran smoothly with very minor mistakes. I was just so grateful to all the people who showed up and cheered and just enjoyed our music.

I also ended up talking to people about the lyrics afterwards, it made me realise  that pain can actually be worth it. Try telling me that six months ago when my heart was broken! All the living I do comes out in the slightly messy way of my lyrics and last night I felt and lived them. The past is gone, I can’t change it and I can’t live in it so I’ve got something new to look forward too. My confidence has soared I feel like we could actually get somewhere with this (please like No People Club on facebook!). The best part was being compared to three of my idols after being told people want to buy our music, they were that into it!

The bottom line is that it’s times like these when I can accept myself for who I am, if it wasn’t for the depression would I have written the way I did? I don’t know but I do know that the hurt that went onto those pages is really paying off. So keep an eye out in the future, No People Club are on the way to the top…hmm this could mean a new tattoo.

The midweek crash

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There are three words on every students lips right now. I’m so tired. Followed by how is it only WEDNESDAY. It’s all I’ve heard this week, you still go out and get on with things but this odd haze seems to have come over all of us right now, the midweek crash is in full force. I’m actually finding myself wanting to nap in the the afternoon and stay up all night because even when I do stay up in an attempt to sleep through the night I wake up at 3am again. 

Some of my friends have started trying to get into routine in the week and start healthy eating…this was my reaction to their idea of sleep.

I don’t know what it is lately, maybe it’s because I’ve been more social than usual and not hibernating over the weekend.  There is one thing that can resolve this horrible feeling of tiredness, something until last month I didn’t understand. Drinking, every Wednesday and every Friday at the moment, student deals are a bugger. While the rest of my fellow students head to the local clubs and freeze their butts off queuing to get into overpriced places that smell of vomit and sweat I will be in the Student Union downing £2 doubles (come on £2?!? why would you go anywhere else) whilst enjoying some good live music, oh and performing…before the doubles that is.

So this is a kind of pointless blog post, possibly due to the lack of sleep…actually more than likely because of the lack of sleep (I was in bed at 10.30pm last night…yeah I was that tired). Tomorrow I’ll be attending another talk for the KUTalent team with Ade Adepitan (look him up he’s pretty awesome) as well as spending some time with Ali before heading home on Friday…maybe I’ll get some sleep there.