Yes, yes I did just quote a Spice Girls song and no I do not have any shame (come on I was a Spice Girls obsessed little girl, of course I can quote the songs).

Hello lovely readers, I hope you’re all doing ok. So today hasn’t been a great day, It’s been pretty rubbish although I’ve had some good news (more on that later) but mostly bad, which left me pretty low. I reached a point today after a little cry where I saw up and thought, right I’ve had time to be low and now I’ve got to get on with what I need to do. For now, that means resting but keeping my mind active, doing my physio and then slowly moving up with the goal of still having a great summer. What’s being miserable going to achieve?

Now I know what some of you are thinking, It’s great for her, but I can’t do that. Let me tell you a little secret, for years when people told me to ‘stop being negative’ I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell and fight and make them understand that I just couldn’t be, why didn’t they understand? I just couldn’t be positive, I couldn’t get out of this black cloud and sometimes you can’t. You have to be at a point where you’re well enough and bit by bit you will get there, it just takes time.

Anyway, back to today. I’m not saying I won’t have lows, I have depression lows are a part of my life, so are anxiety attacks. I just want to try and control them, grab positives when I can. It is hard and I am struggling but I’ve been worse than this before and somehow I got through. I know I’m stubborn and headstrong, so I’m going to try and use that to be positive when I can. I’ve got so many people helping and caring for me, the least I can do is try. Although I had an avalanche of bad news, it wasn’t all bad, I’ve got an interview for some really incredible work opportunities, I got to see Joe today and I finally have physio booked!

Being positive with a mental health condition isn’t always easy but it is possible, just not all the time! Take some time to do something you want to do, go back to something you enjoy (for me it’s been sketching), make a plan of things you’d like to do or ,if you’re like me, lists can make you feel so much more in control of the situation (which I struggle with, not being in control make a very stressed Chloe). So even if right now, there is no light you can see in your life. If things are so stressful you just want to hide under the covers, you’ll get there and there WILL be better things to come. Also why not try reading the ‘helping yourself list‘ I wrote about last year?

I hope you’ve enjoyed todays blog, as ever leave a comment below and let me know what you think!

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